Repeat:


This is my anus. There are many like it, but this one is mine.
My anus is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life.

My anus, without me, is useless. Without my anus, I am useless. I must fire my anus true. I must shoot straighter than my enemy who is trying to kill me. I must shoot him before he shoots me. I will...

My anus and myself know that what counts in this war is not the rounds we fire, the noise of our burst, or the smoke we make. We know that it is the hits that count. We will hit...

My anus is human, even as I, because it is my life. Thus, I will learn it as a brother. I will learn its weaknesses, its strength, its parts, its accessories, its sights and its barrel. I will keep my anus clean and ready, even as I am clean and ready. We will become part of each other. We will...