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Thread: Should I tell him? Should I not?
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04-20-2012 #1
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Should I tell him? Should I not?
I know I'm new here and posted a few threads already, but I haven't really had many people to talk to about some of these topics/issues and I'd appreciate anything anyone may have to say, even if I don't necessarily agree with it.
Well, basically, a friend of mine who I've known for about a year an a half told my good friend he's interested in me, and eventually told me. The dilemma I'm having is he doesn't know I'm trans, nor do I want to tell him, but I do actually like him quite a lot. I go over all the possible reactions he could have in my head, and ultimately I always end up deciding it would be better to just stay friends with him and avoid feeling obligated to tell him something that I don't want to. Now, I know deep down I'm not comfortable enough with my body to have or even truly want a relationship at the moment, being pre-op, but it still isn't good to feel this way. I have told one friend of mine and she thinks I should just tell him and if he's really my friend he'd accept me anyway...etc. Well, the reason I don't want to tell him isn't exactly the acceptance part of it because I do think he's quite an accepting person and would continue being my friend regardless, however, the part that bothers me is I'll no longer be the girl he's friends with... I'll be the trans girl he's friends with, and I just don't want that title, even if it isn't outright said, I know subconsciously that's how he'll view me, to say he wouldn't see me differently is just simply not true. He just treats me like any ordinary girl and for that to change really would upset me. It makes me feel like anytime that a guy is genuinely interested in me and likes me, I'll always be too scared to pursue anything because I don't want to be viewed any differently... and I don't want that either. Anyway, I'm sorry if this seems like a long-winded rant but I'm just curious how other girls deal with situations like this.
Last edited by maddygirl; 04-20-2012 at 10:27 PM.
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04-20-2012 #2
Re: Should I tell him? Should I not?
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04-20-2012 #3
Re: Should I tell him? Should I not?
Originally Posted by Wendy Summers
Well said.
~BB~
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04-20-2012 #4
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Re: Should I tell him? Should I not?
Yeah, and I just want him to see me as any ordinary girl and I just don't think he would anymore... and it's really sad to me. Anyway, thanks for giving your advice and re-organizing my post, have a good weekend!
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04-20-2012 #5
Re: Should I tell him? Should I not?
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04-20-2012 #6
Re: Should I tell him? Should I not?
He if likes u he will still like u... and nine times out of ten he knows somewhere in back of his head!
Michelle Austin
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04-20-2012 #7
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Re: Should I tell him? Should I not?
i think he will know it anyway someday. it s better if u tell him before he find out oyher way. then, he will have a good reason to be upset. Just my opinion
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04-20-2012 #8
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Re: Should I tell him? Should I not?
Originally Posted by TSMichelleAustin
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04-20-2012 #9
- Join Date
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Re: Should I tell him? Should I not?
Thanks for your opinion, have a good weekend
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04-20-2012 #10
Re: Should I tell him? Should I not?
I would not tell him. Most men want the ass, these deep romantic feelings you write about probably do not pertain to him, those are just wishful thoughts on your part. Bottom line, not very complicated, he is interested in the ass...either give it him or not