Should I tell him? Should I not?

[maddygirl]

I guess this situation got me thinking about the future and made me wonder how or if I'd even tell my future partner, which I think I would, it's just difficult, anyway, thanks for your thoughts, have a good weekend

[PapiBear]

Well now we know Papibear's personal fantasy...

Touche WW

Then again, years ago a T-girl approached me on Match.com and asked if I'd be cool. I told her "no." Now I wish I hadn't.

You're asking a guy to think through something in an instant that he may or may not have ever thought about before, and you're expecting him to make an intelligent decision. Really?

The alternative is to just be out in general. Don't make a secret of it. That way, when a guy shows up, you know that he already knows. But it seems like some girls aren't comfortable doing that.

[Odelay]

I guess this situation got me thinking about the future and made me wonder how or if I'd even tell my future partner, which I think I would, it's just difficult, anyway, thanks for your thoughts, have a good weekend

I think you just answered your question. Use this situation to learn. If you get to the point in the future where you meet a great partner, you'll have this experience to fall back on.

[KittyPride]

It's sad that the right people aren't meeting the right people.
It would be totally cool for instance with most guys on this board if you did a 'reveal'.


Good luck.

Yes and they will try to talk her out of srs lol

[circ]

Yes and they will try to talk her out of srs lol

Bringing up the douche, yet again.

[giovanni_hotel]

Yes and they will try to talk her out of srs lol

It's not a man's decision if a TS gets SRS so he can talk all he wants.
I dunno, but if a T is in a LTR with a committed man and he wasn't really overjoyed with the idea of his significant other getting the cut, if she was ambivalent(take it or leave it) about her genitals anyway, would it be a major inconvenience to keep her original plumbing??

From a selfish point of view, the only thing I would be concerned about after a transgendered woman I was hypothetically involved with got SRS would be whether or not she was still sexually responsive.

If a T is seriously involved with a man and that's her long term agenda, I think she should tell him sooner than later what her plans are so he can adjust his mind to it so he can 'transition' mentally also.

[TSMichelleAustin]

Doll, I think ur great and I think young and I personally dont think this forum is best place for advice! LOL There are tons of great transgendered resources where its not porn/escort related. Just some food for thought. I know many girls who had SRS and thought they whole world would change, people would just accept them as a woman cuz they have a vagina. In reality babe u will always be a trans woman, and have once lived as a man. So just remember no matter how many surgries u have u still will have a past and be trans.. And in the end even if u fool a hundred guys with that vagina of yours you might fool the wrong one who will hate u for it. So I know your young but I have spent many years teaching seminars at trans conventions about this subject.

[shaustin]

Doll, I think ur great and I think young and I personally dont think this forum is best place for advice! LOL There are tons of great transgendered resources where its not porn/escort related. Just some food for thought. I know many girls who had SRS and thought they whole world would change, people would just accept them as a woman cuz they have a vagina. In reality babe u will always be a trans woman, and have once lived as a man. So just remember no matter how many surgries u have u still will have a past and be trans.. And in the end even if u fool a hundred guys with that vagina of yours you might fool the wrong one who will hate u for it. So I know your young but I have spent many years teaching seminars at trans conventions about this subject.

I think these words may be the first true sign of a real well adjusted person I've seen on this board. If I were in your shoes I'd take Michelle's words to heart.

[maddygirl]

Oh trust me hun, I know that. That's definitely not the reason I want srs. I want it so I can look at my body and finally be proud of it and happy in my own skin. I know some girls can feel comfortable with themselves before the surgery but I definitely can't. But I really appreciate your advice, thank you

[oak]

Not being critical just asking. Why do you feel obligate to tell him? I have many friends of the opposite gender and my sex life is none of their business. Likewise, I have not right to ask them about their organs or their practices. They are friends and it is irrelevant to our friendship whether they have a penis or not. Now if you decide you want to be more than friends you probably should tell him before you go on a date. Are you sure he has no idea? He's known you for a significant period of time.