Should I tell him? Should I not?

[maddygirl]

I know I'm new here and posted a few threads already, but I haven't really had many people to talk to about some of these topics/issues and I'd appreciate anything anyone may have to say, even if I don't necessarily agree with it.
Well, basically, a friend of mine who I've known for about a year an a half told my good friend he's interested in me, and eventually told me. The dilemma I'm having is he doesn't know I'm trans, nor do I want to tell him, but I do actually like him quite a lot. I go over all the possible reactions he could have in my head, and ultimately I always end up deciding it would be better to just stay friends with him and avoid feeling obligated to tell him something that I don't want to. Now, I know deep down I'm not comfortable enough with my body to have or even truly want a relationship at the moment, being pre-op, but it still isn't good to feel this way. I have told one friend of mine and she thinks I should just tell him and if he's really my friend he'd accept me anyway...etc. Well, the reason I don't want to tell him isn't exactly the acceptance part of it because I do think he's quite an accepting person and would continue being my friend regardless, however, the part that bothers me is I'll no longer be the girl he's friends with... I'll be the trans girl he's friends with, and I just don't want that title, even if it isn't outright said, I know subconsciously that's how he'll view me, to say he wouldn't see me differently is just simply not true. He just treats me like any ordinary girl and for that to change really would upset me. It makes me feel like anytime that a guy is genuinely interested in me and likes me, I'll always be too scared to pursue anything because I don't want to be viewed any differently... and I don't want that either. Anyway, I'm sorry if this seems like a long-winded rant but I'm just curious how other girls deal with situations like this.

[Wendy Summers]

I know I'm new here and posted a few threads already, but I haven't really had many people to talk to about some of these topics/issues and I'd appreciate anything anyone may have to say, even if I don't necessarily agree with it.

Well, basically, a friend of mine who I've known for about a year an a half told my good friend he's interested in me, and eventually told me. The dilemma I'm having is he doesn't know I'm trans, nor do I want to tell him, but I do actually like him quite a lot.

I go over all the possible reactions he could have in my head, and ultimately I always end up deciding it would be better to just stay friends with him and avoid feeling obligated to tell him something that I don't want to. Now, I know deep down I'm not comfortable enough with my body to have or even truly want a relationship at the moment, being pre-op, but it still isn't good to feel this way.

I have told one friend of mine and she thinks I should just tell him and if he's really my friend he'd accept me anyway...etc. Well, the reason I don't want to tell him isn't exactly the acceptance part of it because I do think he's quite an accepting person and would continue being my friend regardless, however, the part that bothers me is I'll no longer be the girl he's friends with... I'll be the trans girl he's friends with, and I just don't want that title, even if it isn't outright said, I know subconsciously that's how he'll view me, to say he wouldn't see me differently is just simply not true.

He just treats me like any ordinary girl and for that to change really would upset me. It makes me feel like anytime that a guy is genuinely interested in me and likes me, I'll always be too scared to pursue anything because I don't want to be viewed any differently... and I don't want that either. Anyway, I'm sorry if this seems like a long-winded rant but I'm just curious how other girls deal with situations like this.

EDITED TO CREATE PARAGRAPHS TO MAKE READING EASIER

I've been through that situation several times... a year long and he's only known you as a girl? His sexual interest may change but his view of you likely won't.

[BellaBellucci]

EDITED TO CREATE PARAGRAPHS TO MAKE READING EASIER

I've been through that situation several times... a year long and he's only known you as a girl? His sexual interest may change but he view of you likely won't.

I thought you didn't take anything seriously, and yet you've earned my +1.

Well said.

~BB~

[maddygirl]

Yeah, and I just want him to see me as any ordinary girl and I just don't think he would anymore... and it's really sad to me. Anyway, thanks for giving your advice and re-organizing my post, have a good weekend!

[Wendy Summers]

I thought you didn't take anything seriously, and yet you've earned my +1.

Well said.

~BB~

wut? I made a passive aggressive grammar nazi lutz in that post.

#itcounts

[TSMichelleAustin]

He if likes u he will still like u... and nine times out of ten he knows somewhere in back of his head!

[nam]

i think he will know it anyway someday. it s better if u tell him before he find out oyher way. then, he will have a good reason to be upset. Just my opinion

[maddygirl]

He if likes u he will still like u... and nine times out of ten he knows somewhere in back of his head!

Thanks for your opinion, hun. Well, here's the strange part of it all... about 6 months ago he talked to me about transgender people and I thought my friend told him... which sort of bothered me but I just said I felt that way, and he said "If you want to become a guy, then I won't stop you, I'll just feel bad that I missed out." So I know for sure he doesn't know about my situation, and now it's incredibly awkward to explain lol.

[maddygirl]

Thanks for your opinion, have a good weekend

[buckjohnson]

I would not tell him. Most men want the ass, these deep romantic feelings you write about probably do not pertain to him, those are just wishful thoughts on your part. Bottom line, not very complicated, he is interested in the ass...either give it him or not