Domino’s Pizza Founder to Start Ultra-Conservative Town

[Trogdor]

Anyone else here thinks that "yourdaddy" is gonna be one of the fellows living in this town?

[chefmike]

Anyone else here thinks that "yourdaddy" is gonna be one of the fellows living in this town?

The thought had occurred to me...I suppose that it would depend on how they feel about bestiality and incest. If not, he can always settle for pedophilia, the Catholic church has no problem with that.

[Felicia Katt]

MIAMI - Tom Monaghan, founder of the Domino’s Pizza chain, and a former marine who was raised by nuns, has embarked on a multi-million dollar plan to build the first town in America to be run according to strict Catholic principles.

The recent story in The Sunday Times of London reported that abortions, pornography and contraceptives will be banned in the new, ultra-conservative Florida town of Ave Maria, which has begun to take shape on former vegetable farms 90 miles northwest of Miami.

since its founded on strict Catholic principles, shouldn't they call it Boystown?

meow

FK

[a994]

Just one more reason why I will never live in the South again.

And Domino's pizza isn't even that good.

[wombat33]

I've never been a big Domino's fan anyway. Their pizzas are too small and their delivery is too slow.

MIAMI - Tom Monaghan, founder of the Domino’s Pizza chain, and a former marine who was raised by nuns, has embarked on a multi-million dollar plan to build the first town in America to be run according to strict Catholic principles.

The recent story in The Sunday Times of London reported that abortions, pornography and contraceptives will be banned in the new, ultra-conservative Florida town of Ave Maria, which has begun to take shape on former vegetable farms 90 miles northwest of Miami.

The announcement has understandably stirred protests from civil rights activists by declaring that Ave Maria’s pharmacies will not be allowed to sell condoms or birth control pills and the town’s cable television network will carry no X-rated channels.

Read the entire Sunday Times story here

IT WILL FAIL IF IT EVER COMES TO BE.

TALK ABOUT REPRESSED CHILDREN!!!!!!!!!!
THAT TOWN NEEDS TO HAVE THE NYC G&L PARADE RUN THROUGH IT WEEKLY WITH ALANNAH STAR AS THE MASTER OF CEREMONIES!!!!

[ezed]

Nooo! It won't! All the girls will wear plaid skirts and the local priest will give them stale bread sticks from all over the country to satisfy their sexual urges!!! And then... and then ....the young boys will be pissed...but the priests will take them aside and say "Son, have you ever put your hand in a hotpocket with out getting burned..come here."

Then they'll promise to show them where they get the cheese for their double cheese pizza in under 30 minutes.

[Trogdor]

naw, the priests, and probably that pizza guy himself will tell the boys to close their eyes and suck on a hose for a surprise.

That or like in that scene from GWAR's "Phallus in Wonderland" where Father Bohab, upon whipping out his schlongm said to an alter boy, "Would you like to try my lucky charm? It's magically delishous!" :P

[General124]

Catholic principles huh? Wonder if he knows that if true Catholic principles were to be applied to this country, everyone, including himself, would be excommunicated.

Idiot.

TALK ABOUT REPRESSED CHILDREN!!!!!!!!!!

Yes. You are a repressed and angry person

THAT TOWN NEEDS TO HAVE THE NYC G&L PARADE RUN THROUGH IT WEEKLY WITH ALANNAH STAR AS THE MASTER OF CEREMONIES!!!!

Because why? No one wants to see that. That parade would be run up and strung up, all of em. Bring them to that city and watch the sparks fly.

[Silcc69]

I lulz at this.