Raging Debate ...

[Texass_Guy]

As every post here runs a better than average chance of turning into a “spirited debate” on political or social issues no matter what the original topic and then runs the risk of degenerating into an all out catfight, lets explore how a picture of an innocent ice cream sundae (found at the botttom of this post) could allow for such a left or right turn, shall we …

(The initial foray into left field)

I can’t believe everyone’s attitude toward ice cream. Ice cream comes from milk and milk comes from cows. It is animal cruelty to keep cows enclosed on farms and then milk them every day! How would you like to be milked once a day and then disposed of when you didn’t provide any longer!!!

I agree. It’s unnatural. Cows like every other mammal on the planet provide milk to their young. They don’t feed them forever so why do we humans impose our will on innocent creatures.

Thanks for speaking out about this injustice. (The obligatory suck up post)

Well since we’re here, let me educate the uneducated. The cows are better off on farms than they would be in the wild. How is that being cruel? In the wild they get diseases and are attacked by wolves and bears. Yea, that’s a much better life.

Better off? How about I yank you out of your home and keep you in my backyard, feed you the same shit everyday, hook you up to a machine, and milk you once a day until you can’t produce anymore and then shoot you in the head. Let’s see how much you like it then!!! You must have had some education.

Impose our will? Ever heard of a wet nurse dumb ass!

Someone can milk me once a day. (The obligatory trying to be funny post)

FU you stupid #!*$^&!@* Humans impose their will on everything on this planet including other humans. You might have gone to school but its clear you didn’t pay attention bitch. Look at our government!

(Now that the word government has been used, we’re off to another path of enlightenment…)

The American public spends millions of dollars on weight loss drugs each year and because ice cream is one of the leading causes of weight gain, the Republicans don’t want to upset the giant corporations that manufacture and distribute these drugs because they support the Republican party!

Another horseshit response from the liberal left. These companies support the Democrats equally if not more so because the democrats will subsidies these companies for people that can’t afford them and its free money to these corporations! How about instead you put a giant sign outside of ben & gerry’s that says Ice Cream Makes you fat you stupid bastard and save us all some money. I pay enough in taxes as it is!

You’re to fucking stupid to have a job and pay taxes!

You know, some people have gland problems and I think it’s very cruel to talk about them this way. This is just another form of discrimination.

Quit supersizing your McDonalds double quarterpounder with cheese bitch and go on a diet!

(And lets not forget, the implied insult posts …)

Speaking of cows, that one reminds me of someone.

Are you talking about your tits when you look in the mirror?

Fuck You Bitch. Who said I was talking about you. I simply made a comment and you immediately assume I was talking about you and now want to play the sympathy card.

I didn’t think you were talking about me, I thought you were talking about yourself when you looked in the mirror. That’s why I asked the question.

I like your tits

Well since you piped in and you always seem to, all I can say is if the shoe fits …

Can you two make out afterwards?

That would be hot!!!

[BeardedOne]

(The obligatory trying to be funny post)

How would you like to be milked once a day and then disposed of when you didn’t provide any longer!!!

Sounds like my last relationship.

:P

[The American Nightmare]

This is the biggest thing since Paper vs. Plastic!

[lurker]

You know, all those paper bags are killing our natural resources. It's because of paper bags we no longer have rainforests. This is destroying the earth.

Now I'm depressed. I'm going to get some ice cream.

[brickcitybrother]

(The obligatory trying to be funny post)

How would you like to be milked once a day and then disposed of when you didn’t provide any longer!!!

Sounds like my last relationship.

:P

That makes two of us!

[BeardedOne]

(The obligatory trying to be funny post)

How would you like to be milked once a day and then disposed of when you didn’t provide any longer!!!

Sounds like my last relationship.

:P

That makes two of us!

Ah, but was she a dyke and did you do her ex-fiance afterwards?

[GrimFusion]

The trouble with the world today, is that people dont have enough fingers. Imagine, if you will, what the world would be like if we were all born with two dozen fingers on each hand. For starters, we would have been less likely to develop our absurd ten-based number system. Lets see, two dozen on each hand, that would make for a grand total of sixty.

A sixty based counting system would have been much better from the start. Thats what the Incas used, and believe me, they wore way cooler hats than anybody alive today. Perhaps one of the biggest obstacles against a sixty-based number system-- that is, besides the finger thing-- is the huge variety of symbols necessary to depict sixty different numbers with a single digit. Again, the Incas had us beat there too. Their low numbers, one through five, were just simple lines and crosses, but as the numbers got bigger, they became more complicated, from lines to patterns of dots, from dots to large grotesque faces, and from faces to huge murals of the gods at war. Wouldnt it be a wonderful world if instead of writing "60" you would have to sit down and draw Apollo driving his solar chariot across the sky as Bacchus and the fauns celebrate in the summertime forests below. And imagine how a digital watch would look. Think of how far and how fast technology would have had to progress just to put that digital green snarling warrior face on your wrist. With the extra boost that a sixty based number system would give to science, we would have mastered manned space flight hundreds of years ago.

Imagine if you will, a colony on the surface of the moon-- not that stereotypical spacemen-in-a-glass-bubble colony, but a real colony. outdoors, in the open air. You might say, "What air?" Well, Ill tell you. It is very simple. Imported air. We have so much of it here on earth just sitting around not being breathed. We could build a solid pipeline between the earth and the moon, and then force air through it with a gigantic box-fan. Of course, as we all know, the moon moves all over the place, so it would be necessary to build supports to keep it in one place. Now, if the moon was to be stopped, it would have to be stopped over the territory of one country or another, and then we get into the difficulty of who owns the moon. Naturally, it would seem that whoever got to the moon first would own it, and since the United States was the only country to plant its flag on the moon, it would seem that they would have first dibs on it. But then, before you know it, Burma, or France, or some other third world country would claim to have gotten there first, and would claim to have placed a perfectly ordinary rock on the surface as a marker of their territorial right to the hottest bit of new real-estate around. In that case, there would be nothing to it but to fight a war.

Now, normally war is a nasty, brutish thing, but I like to think that in our enlightened world, we can think of ways to make it a bit more sporting. A few simple rules would level the playing field. First off, no soldier from a country with nuclear strike capabilities would be allowed to wear shoes or a helmet in combat. Secondly, the pilots of jet fighters and bombers would be required to spend at least one quarter of their air-time close enough to the ground for people on foot to throw rocks at them. And lastly, gunners would be forbidden from firing anything larger than 22 caliber bullets at any enemy mounted upon a donkey, camel, llama or other beast of burden. With those rules in place, I think it would be possible to actually have a "World War 3" without risk of turning the world into one of those cheesy post-apocalyptic desserts that you see in so many sci-fi movies from the nineteen-eighties. You know the type. Bunch of punks riding around on spiked motorcycles, picking on honest hardworking mutants and children.

I swear. And then somebody always eats a dog, like its some big deep social commentary on human nature-- "Oh no! Look how terrible we are, first we nuke the world, and now we eat man's best friend." Makes me sick. What exactly is so bad about eating a dog anyway? The Polynesians do it all the time. Once I knew this nice Polynesian guy, his name was Sam. Once in a while he would invite me over to his place, and we would have dog and watch the ballgame. It was really good-- of course, thats only cause his wife knew how to cook it-- I mean, you cant just toss spot on the barbecue and expect him to taste good. You have to marinate your dog first. The breed is also important. Sam told me all about it. Australian dingoes are ideal, and so are saint bernards, and Irish setters. Never eat a lap dog, they are real stringy, and avoid Dalmatians, because if they are undercooked, they can get you real sick. Also, despite the name, wiener-dogs dont taste like wieners at all. They taste more like bratwurst. Some people get mad when you talk about eating dogs. They act like you are some king of ogre, eating something that will shed on the furniture and jump on guests. They think it is wrong to eat something so cute, and furry and intelligent. To those people I say "What about bread, huh?" Do you realize what bread is? It is made from ground up wheat! When most people think of wheat, they think of a dry little plant sitting there in the field doing nothing. That is just the sort of image that the grain industry tries to promote through the media. Dont buy into it! Wheat is warm and cuddly! Wheat is soft and friendly! Wheat makes a better pet than a dog. In fact, it is even possible to house-train wheat, and to teach it to bring you the morning paper. Next time you take a bite out of a sandwich, think about how many poor little wheats had to die horrible deaths in the threshing machine to provide you with your meal. Have a little pity. Bread is murder!

(P.S. I wrote this, like, six years ago. I just thought it'd be funny to post in here, since, according to it's basic structure and mesasge, it's somewhat on topic.)