Is it really so bad to live your entire life alone?

[BellaBellucci]

from what I see online 40 seems to be the new 13!

Cool. That makes me jailbait.

~BB~

[bighicknyc]

Thanks. I'm working very hard to get my shit together. This economy makes everything take ten times longer, too.

As far as my son, I love him too, to the point where I've pretty much put my entire life on hold (I did not transition to do porn), but it's a love based in responsibility and I only get him 50% of the time. It would be nice for someone to take care of Mom once in a while, ya know?

~BB~

Hell until we all find one who can put up with our crap we feel a bit lonely. You have a heck of alot going on for you then you realize so be a bit patience

[loveboof]

Sharing is generally something that comes back to haunt me. It's never worth it. I try to not say anything that can and will be used against me.

It's a good thing to be independent, but you mentioned your strength, and imo it takes a strong person to let go of their previous issues and let yourself be 'vulnerable' again. I don't mean weak - but open.

In a way, by closing yourself off emotionally you are really playing it safe - which is usually the easy option!

[BellaBellucci]

Hell until we all find one who can put up with our crap we feel a bit lonely. You have a heck of alot going on for you then you realize so be a bit patience

I'm also obsessive/compulsive, stubborn as an ox, and one of the most patience-trying human beings that has ever lived. It comes from my background and it's not something I have the luxury of being able to change right now. Part of the reason for my feelings of isolation is that I don't want to hurt anybody that I don't have to either.

Trust me on this one: don't give me too much credit.

~BB~

[runningdownthatdream]

Cool. That makes me jailbait.

~BB~

I haven't noticed your posts being consistently blanketed by 'LOL/LMAO/LMAO dude/ROFL' etc............so you're not jailbait yet!

[BellaBellucci]

In a way, by closing yourself off emotionally you are really playing it safe - which is usually the easy option!

Hi. Have you met some of the people who are involved with this community?! There's no way you can trust any of them!

~BB~

[Ineeda SM]

Sharing is generally something that comes back to haunt me. It's never worth it. I try to not say anything that can and will be used against me.

Oh I've played that tune before, so I know the story. But you don't have to be with the same person forever, you can take breaks. And keep your mouth shut. LOL

I would hate to see this happen to you baby.

[0utrageousss]

I'm starting to think not. It seems to cut down on life's complications quite a bit. I mean I've spent my whole life trying to just be myself, and as it turns out, I'm not really compatible with really anyone for any purpose other than casual friendships. To be fair, this is the price I've always suspected I'd pay for being strong and staying true to myself. Maybe it's time for me to just give up and start collecting cats.

I don't know. It's something I'm mulling over.

~BB~

Aww I feel the same way! It's alright though, life goes on

[loveboof]

Hi. Have you met some of the people who are involved with this community?! There's no way you can trust any of them!

~BB~

No I haven't met anyone from HA, but I meant in general. I don't trust most people here lol (or in real life), but when you meet someone you want to get close to - it takes strength and courage to open yourself up.

[BellaBellucci]

Oh I've played that tune before, so I know the story. But you don't have to be with the same person forever, you can take breaks. And keep your mouth shut. LOL

I honestly have no interest in any long-term relationship in which I have to keep secrets. If i don't think I can share with you or trust you, I won't even bother trying to hook up, let alone angle for something more.

I honestly believe there have been and continue to be people in my life who are only interested in me because they want to be nosy and 'break the wall,' so to speak. All I can say to those people is: good luck with that. I don't trust any of you motherfuckers, and you know who you are.

~BB~