Sometimes I Wish My Backpage Hundred Dollar Honeys Were Part Cockroach...

[Dino Velvet]

... That way when the lights come on they'd jump in a crack in the wall and hide.

I blew my load and was in a good mood. This hooker I was laying next to mentioned she didn't have dinner. I offered to give her a ride to get something to eat. We hit it off so she felt comfortable getting in my blood-soaked sulfur-smelling pick-up. We walked from the romantically lit bedroom to the living room and BOOM!, the bare 100 Watt lightbulb on the ceiling punched her in the forehead and Dawn Ho can't figure out what she wants to eat. Looking back at that grill, I pointed to the kitchen pretending I just got a great idea and said, "Hey, make something here!" She hesitated, I stepped in my flip-flops, and jumped through the window. She was better last time.

One awkward moment. Prior to intercourse, I referred to her funhole as a pussy. She said, "Pussy?" "Yeah", I said, "You have a pussy too. You even have babies. They're brown but stillborn and when you have Korean BBQ down the street they could be pureed."

Any you freaks wanna hot number? She don't charge much. Most of my Backpage Hundred Dollar Honeys I wouldn't take west of La Cienega but Maya doesn't cross Western. Not with me she doesn't! Proceed with caution fellas.

[theone1982]

Dino, I want to see a sitcom based on your life!

[Dino Velvet]

Pretty good hooker story, huh? Short, simple, straight to the point.

[Willie Escalade]

Show a picture

[Dino Velvet]

Show a picture

She don't show the face. You're lucky, Willie Escalade.

[robertlouis]

Dino, I want to see a sitcom based on your life!

Are you sure it would be a sitcom?

I always think that this represents Dino at his mellowest.

"Two and a Half Vampires", anyone?

[needsum]

[QUOTE=Dino Velvet;1008296]...
One awkward moment. Prior to intercourse, I referred to her funhole as a pussy. She said, "Pussy?" "Yeah", I said, "You have a pussy too. You even have babies. They're brown but stillborn and when you have Korean BBQ down the street they could be pureed."
QUOTE]


Good l ord man. you can't make this stuff up, its pure gold (or brown, as the turd flies). HBO has its new replacement for Entourage!! "The Velvet Underground"

[Silcc69]

You and tjinla2001 would be a mean tag team.

[Dino Velvet]

You and tjinla2001 would be a mean tag team.

I fear TJ is dead. Wonder where they found his body and if the cops videotaped going to his family's house to express their condolences while holding back the laughter knowing what really happened. Went from insult to injury as a once proud mother found out her son cannot get a strong enough erection to top transvestite prostitutes anymore. I'd hate/love to be the officer knocking on that door giving the terrible/hysterically funny news.

I was almost real police myself. The cops loved me but the head doctors feared me.

[Dino Velvet]

Had an afternoon Swedish treat. After completion, she mentioned she had something to confess. "I'm really Finnish." I responded, "I'm finished too, honey. See 'ya next time."

This one can show her face without cracking the lens on a camera.