Thoughts about trans support groups?

[Erika1487]

I have recently attended a transgender support group after my therapist's nagging on and on about it for 5 months about it's importance, I finally got to go.
My Experience was not a good one to say the least…..
The attendees where 5 FTM in various stages of transition 3 Homosexual men who identify as “gender queer” and on occasion wear women’s clothing. Myself and one other MTF trans person who has been on HRT a few months longer than me.
My therapist who co-leads this support group , said this group represents the Trans rainbow spectrum and would be a good way from me to make “personal connections within the trans community” After everyone introduced themselves it was my turn….you could have heard a pin drop after I told the group what I did for a living. The group got very quiet and became a little distant towards me. After setting through an hour and a half of dribble and small talk bullshit.
I was left thinking what the hell does this have to do with being trans? What do I have in common with these freaks?? Am I being too judgmental and harsh here? should I give the group the benefit of doubt and give it another chance?
What has been your experience with these “support groups” are they as lame as mine?

[rileyk]

I've had mixed experiences at transsupport groups. I generally find the *more* exclusive they are, the better. Here in NYC there's a FtM group, a MtF group, groups for S.O.'s of both, and even genderqueer groups, of course you need a serious populace for that to make sense. When you have a wide gender spectrum, nothing really gets accomplished and most of the meeting is spent clarifying things and trying not to offend eachother, diversity works better for things like leadership conferences, not for support.

I've had similar experiences coming out as a sex-worker in groups, I've gotten dissed by half the room, and curious excitement from the other half. In my hometown we had smaller MtF groups, filled with pre-everything and medically transitioning middle aged men, it was kinda sad there were felons and some broken people who would talk forever, most of the girls constantly fawned over how they wished they would have transitioned at my age, you're so pretty etc, i didn't feel comfortable, safe or supported.

I think now I would be more prone to reaching out and trying to help, but when I was younger i just turned tail and ran. I generally like the meetings after transgroups, where all the folks goto a diner or something, a relaxed environment.

I wouldnt get too discouraged, sometimes groups are very different week to week, and not all groups suck, i've been to some great discussions and met really cool girls. Good luck!

[Miss Aeryn]

I have recently attended a transgender support group after my therapist's nagging on and on about it for 5 months about it's importance, I finally got to go.
My Experience was not a good one to say the least…..
The attendees where 5 FTM in various stages of transition 3 Homosexual men who identify as “gender queer” and on occasion wear women’s clothing. Myself and one other MTF trans person who has been on HRT a few months longer than me.
My therapist who co-leads this support group , said this group represents the Trans rainbow spectrum and would be a good way from me to make “personal connections within the trans community” After everyone introduced themselves it was my turn….you could have heard a pin drop after I told the group what I did for a living. The group got very quiet and became a little distant towards me. After setting through an hour and a half of dribble and small talk bullshit.
I was left thinking what the hell does this have to do with being trans? What do I have in common with these freaks?? Am I being too judgmental and harsh here? should I give the group the benefit of doubt and give it another chance?
What has been your experience with these “support groups” are they as lame as mine?

No not at all judgemental or harsh. Nooooo.

Gold.

[Erika1487]

I've had mixed experiences at transsupport groups. I generally find the *more* exclusive they are, the better. Here in NYC there's a FtM group, a MtF group, groups for S.O.'s of both, and even genderqueer groups, of course you need a serious populace for that to make sense. When you have a wide gender spectrum, nothing really gets accomplished and most of the meeting is spent clarifying things and trying not to offend eachother, diversity works better for things like leadership conferences, not for support.

I've had similar experiences coming out as a sex-worker in groups, I've gotten dissed by half the room, and curious excitement from the other half. In my hometown we had smaller MtF groups, filled with pre-everything and medically transitioning middle aged men, it was kinda sad there were felons and some broken people who would talk forever, most of the girls constantly fawned over how they wished they would have transitioned at my age, you're so pretty etc, i didn't feel comfortable, safe or supported.

I think now I would be more prone to reaching out and trying to help, but when I was younger i just turned tail and ran. I generally like the meetings after transgroups, where all the folks goto a diner or something, a relaxed environment.

I wouldnt get too discouraged, sometimes groups are very different week to week, and not all groups suck, i've been to some great discussions and met really cool girls. Good luck!

Thanks rileyk.
When you have a wide gender spectrum, nothing really gets accomplished and most of the meeting is spent clarifying things and trying not to offend eachother, diversity works better for things like leadership conferences, not for support The group I went too does not really change or roll over that much, so what I am left with is a group dominated mostly by FTM and Gender queer who are not bad folks we just have nothing in common. The only exclusive group for MTF meet a 112mi away. Thats a too much of a drive to just shoot the breeze. Hopefully there will me more MTF's move into the area so I can have some one to relate too, but being rual Southeast Ohio I seriously doubt it.

[Mayrah]

My therapist told me to go to meetings aswell, so i went to look up on info in my city, well there was a LGBT 80's disco ball and a 12 to 18 youngster meeting for TG's. Not my thing so i went to look at the city where the gender clinic is at and they had pictures up from around 1 and a half year of meetings and ALL the pictures were from people 40 years old and up..

I wouldnt fit in at all, so i just told him it wassent for me.

[Nicole Dupre]

*smdh

I can't believe you actually called them "freaks". lol You're not exactly a conventional human being yourself, Ericka, if you haven't noticed. Just because you attend these Tea Party circle-jerks you love so damn much; you're still the first person they'd stone to death if they knew about you. lol

Did you go dressed as a man or a... woman?

[Erika1487]

*smdh

I can't believe you actually called them "freaks". lol You're not exactly a conventional human being yourself, Ericka, if you haven't noticed. Just because you attend these Tea Party circle-jerks you love so damn much; you're still the first person they'd stone to death if they knew about you. lol

Did you go dressed as a man or a... woman?

Well maybe I judged them a tad too harshly the FTM's where decent folks, but honestly why are "Gender queer" homosexuals who are just a half step from a drag queen in a "trans support group"
Went there as Erika wearing my pink Cami & white Capri's & lane bryant flats. lol

[Nicole Dupre]

Well maybe I judged them a tad too harshly the FTM's where decent folks, but honestly why are "Gender queer" homosexuals who are just a half step from a drag queen in a "trans support group"
Went there as Erika wearing my pink Cami & white Capri's & lane bryant flats. lol

Because those "gender queer homosexuals" are probably dealing with GID. So what if they're drag queens? Do you think drag queens & genderfuct people aren't often latent transsexuals?

At least they're not hiding who they are. Do you think being into football, guns, and politics is a truer indication of GID? lol

[Nicole Dupre]

About 8 years ago I went to one of these support group things in Manhattan, and I thought it sucked. But the reason I didn't like it was, all the older transitioners who can't pass, never will pass, buy firecracker pussies with their 401Ks, and still act like total DUDES. I went to one the first week I moved to Fort Lauderdale, and it was the same thing.

You're either transitioning it, or you're not. After you wrestle with that, it's either going to work out or it's not. Groups like that should be there as just a place to talk, when you really have to. But I don't see it as a means of socializing.

Maybe you're just pissed that they looked at you like a freak, especially after you told them you're a Tea Party lunatic. lol

[Erika1487]

Because those "gender queer homosexuals" are probably dealing with GID. So what if they're drag queens? Do you think drag queens & genderfuct people aren't often latent transsexuals?

At least they're not hiding who they are. Do you think being into football, guns, and politics is a truer indication of GID? lol

The three "gender queer" were clearly just gay men who dabbled women's clothing and had no intention of transitioning. I did not hide or make excuses for what I do for a living or who I am. If you read the OP the room went dead quiet and got a "little cold" after I explained my job and that I present as James at work. I just don't think the group is for me, I did like making a new MTF friend who does not live that far away.