Are men sluts ?

[Erika1487]

The other day i ran into 2 guys that starting whistling (? My english fails again right ? ) the moment i came into their eyesight...i had to pass them to get to the store and they made comments like, "look at you sexy lady, look she does not even wear a bra etc lol"

I did what i always do in these situations, smile nicely and fearlessly, and avoid further eye contact when necessary, but secretly im thinking: "honestly guys, do you go after anything with a heartbeat? Take a moment to look at me more closely lol" and of course a more wicked voice in me entertainted itself with the idea of treating them like sextoys on the streets (same as they treat me), speaking in a more masculine voice "yeah ? You want it bad dont you honey ? Turn round and ill give ya some" lol but that would have resulted into a scene with a lot of screaming and shouting lol and i dont like to use myself for those purposes, even though making fun of yourself is the nicest thing, you have to be carefull and consider the company you are in...

But it does make me wonder...
We girls are so often called or considered sluts, for the way we dress, when we dress feminine, by man, but are they not just simply projecting their sexual need on us lol...

And consider hung angels...even if i wanted to, i cant even compete with a lot of bttm guys here that dont blink an eye when being topped by different girls, actually, its what most guys seem to be dreaming about lol and they are even paying to get it !!!

So should we not honestly reconsider the word slut and to whom we apply it to ?

And more importantly, coz i was born into a male body, does this make me a slut too ?

:}
hihi

Love,
Birgitta

A great article by Alice Novic M.D

"Going on a Manhunt:
The Two Types of Men Who Might Be Interested"

Today I’d like to talk about men, or at least the men that we t-ladies come across. Just like there tends to be two types of trans ladies, there tends to be two types of gentlemen we might attract: trans admirers and straight men. But first, let me explain why this subject has become so near and dear to me. As many of you know, I’m a happily married bisexual crossdresser, who for the last seven years has enjoyed the blessing of an open relationship and a steady man on the side. Well, all good things come to an end, and alas my steamy affair with Frank seems . . . frankly to have run out of steam, leaving me reluctantly out on my lonesome gazing afresh at the world of men. At the same time, the Lodge, L.A.’s best t-club shut its doors last September with no heir apparent, scattering tranny and chaser alike to the wind.

Subsequently, I’ve spent many more of my weekly girl-nights in gay and straight venues than ever before and confirmed a number of notions I’d previously sensed and even learned a few new ones. It’s been enlightening, and I’ll happily share what I’ve learned from my, and my friends’, and my patients’ experiences—but I’d also like to encourage all of you to share what you’ve discovered, on the Internet and out in the world, with me by email. First and foremost, I’ve re-acquainted myself with that classic lesson from Out and About 101: gay clubs are the best, and gay men even better but not the least interested in us. What can make a gay club interesting for t-gal like me who’s in touch with the softer side of her sexuality, however, is the incidental appearance of one of the other two types of men: straight men and admirers—and it’s often very hard to tell the difference.

Of course, it’s a whole lot easier to find straight men at a straight club, but even there, there’s always that tense question of “Does he or doesn’t he know?” and what that says about me as a woman and him as a man. Ah, the difficulty of distinguishing the pass from the play-along, especially the well-oiled play-along of the experienced trans-fan. I have a hetero crossdresser friend who cheerfully skips right over it and always assumes she’s passing and that the men hitting on her are straight. Though it “works for she,” making this distinction and coming out—at the right place and time—might really start to matter if she ever hoped her flirtation might lead to something more.

Is there truly a difference between straight men and trans admirers, when most of them and many of us would deny it emphatically? Well, like the distinction between love-to-be-femme and act-femme TGs, the distinction between straight men and admirers is one of those things that “seems to be” even if it doesn’t always “work for you and me.” So, you man hunters out there must by now be hungry to know why admirers are different, how to tell them apart from regular straight men, which kind to go for, and what you need to know if you do.

“But aren’t all admirers really gay?” the most naive among us ask. “Certainly not,” I say. The word gay, at least according to gay people, describes something very specific: men attracted men—in male form. It does not describe any man who does anything non-straight, no matter how much your angry ex-wife might say so.

The more informed among us know that admirers almost always come from the straight world, Studio City rather than West Hollywood as we might say around here. I must admit I had a ball the first night I spent at the Mangy Moose, a rockin’ dance joint for older singles in Studio City. I’ve never been so whirled and twirled in my entire life. But I wasn’t nearly so popular the next time and soon learned that I’d been read and word had spread. Where before I’d been courted by twenty, now there seemed to be none. But with a little patience and a comfortable bar stool, I was pleased to discover there was still somebody looking to get up my skirt. And after talking for a little while, I could tell he’d read me or been tipped off, when there were too many references to my height or the “great shape” I was in.

I recently compared notes over lunch with a beautiful, bright, little Filipino non-op TS, and what she’d gathered was so different, but really so much the same. “I get a lot of guys hitting on me,” she explained, “but when I tell them I’m T, they all back away, or at least 95%. I’d have to be post-op and stealthy to keep ’em interested.”

But if a man stays interested despite learning her secret or realizing mine, is he just common Joe tempted to walk on the wild side or a simple Simon smitten by the singular charms of one Alice Novic (or Teresa Teruel), whatever she may be? Whoever such men are, they seem to emerge mysteriously from the straight world, even for me still at forty-four years old, and I thank heavens for them. Who needs to think it through any further than that? No one! Okay, end of article . . .

Just kidding. I do. Maybe it’s the former math/science geek in me—now trapped in the body of a transvestite, or simply the fact that I’m a psychiatrist. Or maybe it’s just that I don’t like surprises down the pike. But I have to ask questions and learn as much as I can from what people say and especially what they do.

So what about that magic 5% of straight men who stay interested? Are they the same as the other guys? If the mood strikes, might any straight man consider a walk on the wild side? First of all, dear readers, don’t answer this question based on your own experience as men. Because, whether CD or TS, you are not and never were a pure straight man, you’re trans—and because of that you see and have always seen the world differently. To avoid this pitfall I surveyed three really good straight friends who had already shared all kinds of secrets with me—if any of them had been trans or trans-admiring they would have long ago let me know.

And, alas, all said they’d lose interest and have to bow out as best they could, if they learned they were getting involved with a transwoman. It seems that these three, at least, were just plain not oriented to us. “If I was already in love with her,” one, who happened to be a doctor, said, “then it would be a bitter pill to swallow, like learning she had herpes or diabetes, but we all have our issues.” That, my friends, is type one of the men who might be interested, an open-minded, yet regular, straight man.

Fortunately there are those strangers who come out of the woodwork for a readable gal like me or stay interested in a right-up-front girl like Teresa, and they seem to resemble the men we’re more familiar with from our tranny clubs. For them we’re not some kind of icky imbetween, but the best of both worlds. Bless their hearts. Regardless of where they’re found, these men are best thought of as a second and distinct type of the men who might like us, trans admirers, because they seek us out and fall in love with us because we’re trans, not despite it. Who are they? Simply some small renegade percentage of otherwise regular straight men? Many insist that they are, and I’d like to think that’s true. They explain their attraction to us with “You’re like women but with a little something extra,” and “You’re all so much more appreciative and care about being feminine.”

That sounds pretty convincing except for the fact that I’ve been out on the tranny and chaser scene since 1994, and many men have offered me—and themselves—such explanations only to admit one on one that yes they’re aroused by lingerie or to come out years later as a crossdresser or even transsexual. That’s why I’ve personally come to believe that Deep inside every chaser beats the heart of a tranny. Can’t many of you ladies remember such a phase? Many admirers may be passing through it now. And perhaps there, many are happy to stay. Nonetheless, maybe some admirers are simply who they say are, so we might sum up the kinds of men who might like us into 1) straight men who can tolerate our being trans, 2a) admirers who perceive us as women with some sort of advantage 2b) admirers drawn to us because they are trans at heart. Regardless of which kind you are, thank you for being there. And if you’re an over six-foot-tall Southern Californian who knows how treat a lady, don’t hesitate to get in touch.

Life’s rich, complex, and full of possibilities. Be careful and enjoy!

Alice Novic, M.D.

[Erika1487]

So ler me get this straight. You spent a lot of time experimenting with gay sex, that you're admittedly ashamed of. Then, you transitioned into this ugly transsexual, who started noticing catcalls when they didn't wear a bra one day? Sounds like TOTAL BULLSHIT.

This is a porn forum. And so far, you and phobun are the only two lonely freaks, trying to sell a very specific and very narrow world-view, to TS sexworkers and guys who like TS porn. I call TOTAL BULLSHIT.

Please spare us from your bullshit Nicole!
Birgitta is a decent person who is just asked a question.
Again you have to piss all over the thread to make a point.

[Nicole Dupre]

This thread is so Laura's Playground, I wanna hurl on a closet door.

[bte]

Of course men are sluts. What the fuck kind of question is that?

[Nicole Dupre]

Please spare us from your bullshit Nicole!
Birgitta is a decent person who is just asked a question.
Again you have to piss all over the thread to make a point.

Why don't you go fuck your football, dumbbell.

This forum is becoming a closet-case fag Tupperware Party, and you've always got your big man-mitts in the chip bowl, looking for drama.

[Yvonne183]

If a man is a slut does that mean he is also gay?


Maybe I am being out of context with what I say next, but the reason I sometimes feel that men are sluts is sort of proven on this forum. Look at the personal section and most posts by men say they seek a beautiful, passable tgirl. I kinda think that is being slutty. But that is just me.

But I don't think all men are slutty, just the slutty ones are slutty, the others can be quite nice. I just haven't met one yet. lol

My apologies to Nicole if my post was all mushy, I am bored and need to write.

[Nicole Dupre]

Men are "sluts" because they have a biological urge to sow their seeds. Some can control it. Some can't. End of 8th grade topic?

[Yvonne183]

Men are "sluts" because they have a biological urge to sow their seeds. Some can control it. Some can't. End of 8th grade topic?

OK,, I'll stop now. I never got to 8th grade, I had to drop out.

see ya

[loveboof]

If a man is a slut does that mean he is also gay?


Maybe I am being out of context with what I say next, but the reason I sometimes feel that men are sluts is sort of proven on this forum. Look at the personal section and most posts by men say they seek a beautiful, passable tgirl. I kinda think that is being slutty. But that is just me.

But I don't think all men are slutty, just the slutty ones are slutty, the others can be quite nice. I just haven't met one yet. lol

I don't think it's fair to judge anyone on their sluttiness for anything other than their actions. If a guy wants to look at porn on the internet - that does not make him a womaniser. And what a girl acts out in fantasy doesn't say anything about her promiscuity (or lack of).

And I honestly don't understand your first question - was it a joke?

[Yvonne183]

I don't think it's fair to judge anyone on their sluttiness for anything other than their actions. If a guy wants to look at porn on the internet - that does not make him a womaniser. And what a girl acts out in fantasy doesn't say anything about her promiscuity (or lack of).

And I honestly don't understand your first question - was it a joke?

My first part was a joke. But I never said anything about a guy looking at porn. I never said any guy was a womanizer. I never said anything about a girl acting out in fantasy. I'll go back and re-read my older posts but I don't think i said anything you quote me saying.

Sorry Nicole, last time.