Man Uses Razor To Look For Drugs In Friend’s Ass, Court Grants Release

[Pelheckitt]

Elkton, MD — For those of you who missed it, Ethan Adam Younce, 22, was convicted for the drug-user-equivalent of dumpster diving. He went looking for drugs in the rectum of a friend using a old-style straight blade razor. This was done without his friend’s consent. To add insult to injury – quite literally – no drugs were found.
The particulars according to police and court documents are this… About 4AM one morning a bunch of people are at a party in the living room of a local house. One man has passed out. Younce and two others at the party believe that the man passed out has either drug money or drugs shoved up his ass. The assailants later put a value on the stash at about $50.
Fifty-bucks?!? Hell yeah… it’s time to do some digging!
Younce and his convicted accomplices, Eric Edward Allen, 27, and Maurice Helton, 18, wake the man. By “wake” I mean, of course, “beat.” Allen and Helton reportedly punched and kicked the victim while Younce repeatedly demanded money. When those actions failed to cause either drugs or money to come shooting out of the victim’s ass, Younce’s accomplices held him down while Younce stripped him, police said.
As Younce began cutting into the victim’s ass and anus looking for drugs, one of the bystanders to these crazy kids’ shenanigans ran shrieking to a neighbor to call 911.
“Upon entering, I observed Younce jump away from the victim, who was laying in a fetal position on the floor,” a responding officer from the Elkton Police Department wrote in a report of the incident. “Younce had a significant amount of blood on his shirt and shoes.”
The officer also noted that the victim was completely naked and bleeding severely from his mouth, nose, arms, legs and anus. Officers also found a bloody silver-and-black folding razor on the living room floor, according to court records.
The victim was rushed to the hospital for emergency butt reconstruction surgery. He survived and no drugs were found.
So in 2009, Younce pleaded guilty to first degree assault. In exchange for the plea, the state dropped attempted second-degree murder and numerous other charges. Younce was sentenced to 25 years in jail with 15 years suspended. His earliest opportunity for parole would have been after a minimum of 5 years was served.
End of story. Oh wait…
After serving a little over 2 years, Younce filed a request asking that he be transfered from prison to a drug rehabilitation center. Retired Cecil County Circuit Court Judge O. Robert Lidums – the original judge in the case – granted the request during a hearing last week. Youce will enter the treatment program when the first opening becomes available. The hitch is that drug rehabilitation is outside of the court system. Once the rehabilitation is “complete,” Younce is immediately released.
“If he successfully completes the program in six months, he’s out. One year, he’s out. Eighteen months, he’s out,” Assistant State’s Attorney Michael J. Halter said. “There’s no set time.”
While objecting to the request during last week’s hearing, Halter also stressed that Younce had committed a “heinous” crime. …or did he say “anus?”
So there you have it… in Maryland you can decide to look for drugs in a drunk guy’s ass, carve his butt like a Christmas turkey get charged with murder, plea it down to assault, get sentenced to 25 years in jail, have 15 years of it suspended, serve two-and-a-half years in jail, transfer to a rehab center, and be out in under 3.
Cool

[Richctdude]

boy people are crazy!!

[BeardedOne]

Elkton is our local pocket of six-fingered men. The Cecil Whig often has such entertaining stories in its pages. Google 'Drunk Monkey' and some amusing stuff pops up. Bar patrons running down cops with their pick-em-up trucks, random knife and/or gun fights, etc.