Being a TS and self worth

[Birgitta]

You know,
Of course I have known some T girls... and
the feminine at heart care very much about how they look,
and can be dreadfully insecure about it too.

Many of them up to a point that they dont think they are
worth anything at all because of the fact that they are a TS,
and not a beauty queen, makes them feel like nothing
else they do matters for they will always be judged finally
as not being woman enough, being a man etc being a freak
u name it.

In the scene the one's that are most feminine are naturally
appreciated most, the one's that are not can expect the
most dreadfull comments by both their supposed sisters
and tlovers (let alone outsiders).

Something is very wrong about this. But you cant change it.
I would like to encourage all tgirls that need to be encouraged to not
let your self worth or womanhood depend on how you are
judged by other people. I know it is hard, but in the end that
seems to be the best thing to do. Otherwise your life can become
so miserable.

I am just learning that I am a good person, and allthough I do
care about how I look and will probably always try to look okay,
I have this desire to never judge myself and my self worth
ever again by the way I look.

It is going to be tough ! But I am worth it and if men dont want to be
with me or rather be with a pretty girl they should. Its their loss
ultimately because I have a lot of love to offer.

hugs
Birgitta

[BigDF]

That is a beautiful post, Birgit.

[traLika]

I agree, Birgitta: looking in the mirror too much is not good for the soul. I admire your integrity and I hope your new approach brings you happiness. You deserve it!

[Yvonne183]

In the scene the one's that are most feminine are naturally
appreciated most, the one's that are not can expect the
most dreadfull comments by both their supposed sisters
and tlovers (let alone outsiders).

When I went to tgirl bars back when in NYC this attitude above was common. This put me off going to tgirl bars so I just went to dance clubs.

Not to sound pity again, but I was not fully accepted back then, I didn't follow the tranny rule book on how to dress and act. And most guys wanted a tgirl that I wasn't. But that's OK being alone has it's good points too...lol If I did meet someone then more than likely they were really interested in me and not some image they were seeking.


You always have nice thoughts Brigitta, you're very sweet.

[BellaBellucci]

I agree in theory, and I decry our current social climate in which beauty is everything, but I also think you underestimate its importance. A more balanced approach may be helpful in your attempt to reclaim more self esteem.

~BB~

[Stoked]

I agree in theory, and I decry our current social climate in which beauty is everything but I also think you underestimate its importance. A more balanced approach may be helpful in your attempt to reclaim more self esteem.

~BB~

Bella is absolutely correct and I will add that many men age into accepting a womans personality and self worth over their beauty. Those who cant see the person underneath the facade usually arent worth the time. Sometimes the extreme physically beautiful women attract those who only see such shallow things ... makes you wonder doesnt it?

[MrF]

Doesn't a lot of this have to do with how passable the TS is ? Is going in public dressed and acting as a man a viable option when you're not in a "TS-friendly" venue ? Not trying to cause trouble, just asking.

And btw, the effect of one's looks on self-worth is a universal problem; it affects all of us. So at least you know you're in the same boat as everyone else. It's just the way the world works. What I try to do personally is focus on the stuff I can control -- physical conditioning, weight, hygiene, grooming, and a moderate attention to style -- and for the rest: c'est la vie.

Still, I imagine it's worse for TS's for various reasons.

[robertlouis]

That is a beautifully phrased declaration of intent, Birgitta, and I sincerely hope you succeed. You have friends here who will help as much as they can - count me in, please.

[phobun]

You know,
Of course I have known some T girls... and
the feminine at heart care very much about how they look,
and can be dreadfully insecure about it too.

Many of them up to a point that they dont think they are
worth anything at all because of the fact that they are a TS,
and not a beauty queen, makes them feel like nothing
else they do matters for they will always be judged finally
as not being woman enough, being a man etc being a freak
u name it.

In the scene the one's that are most feminine are naturally
appreciated most, the one's that are not can expect the
most dreadfull comments by both their supposed sisters
and tlovers (let alone outsiders).

Something is very wrong about this. But you cant change it.
I would like to encourage all tgirls that need to be encouraged to not
let your self worth or womanhood depend on how you are
judged by other people. I know it is hard, but in the end that
seems to be the best thing to do. Otherwise your life can become
so miserable.

I am just learning that I am a good person, and allthough I do
care about how I look and will probably always try to look okay,
I have this desire to never judge myself and my self worth
ever again by the way I look.

It is going to be tough ! But I am worth it and if men dont want to be
with me or rather be with a pretty girl they should. Its their loss
ultimately because I have a lot of love to offer.

hugs
Birgitta

There is too much pressure put on women to be attractive. The world is a sexist place.

[lisaparadise]

You know,
Of course I have known some T girls... and
the feminine at heart care very much about how they look,
and can be dreadfully insecure about it too.

Many of them up to a point that they dont think they are
worth anything at all because of the fact that they are a TS,
and not a beauty queen, makes them feel like nothing
else they do matters for they will always be judged finally
as not being woman enough, being a man etc being a freak
u name it.

In the scene the one's that are most feminine are naturally
appreciated most, the one's that are not can expect the
most dreadfull comments by both their supposed sisters
and tlovers (let alone outsiders).

Something is very wrong about this. But you cant change it.
I would like to encourage all tgirls that need to be encouraged to not
let your self worth or womanhood depend on how you are
judged by other people. I know it is hard, but in the end that
seems to be the best thing to do. Otherwise your life can become
so miserable.

I am just learning that I am a good person, and allthough I do
care about how I look and will probably always try to look okay,
I have this desire to never judge myself and my self worth
ever again by the way I look.

It is going to be tough ! But I am worth it and if men dont want to be
with me or rather be with a pretty girl they should. Its their loss
ultimately because I have a lot of love to offer.

hugs
Birgitta

good insite there kiddo but the sad fact is that people will always look at the shell first and then decide to either look inside or walk away.whats really inportant is how you look at yourself,you need to find your inner strenths some have it but most dont and most of all dont compare yourself to others just compare yourself to who you were starting out.there are far too many of our sisters who are dilussional in thinking there unclockable and there the ones who usually are miserable and have issues.just keep it real be nice to everyone and always smile and enjoy life as best as you can cause theres always another whos worse off then you,try and remember that.