Trans-girls and relationships.....

[www.tglovers.com]

We all crack jokes, or just come on here to entertain ourselves. So a lot of shit gets sadi for just that, and lost is what we really might feel about this world we plunged into.


A long time ago I saw it as a fetish. I used to hide it, and only looked at pictures or videos online.

Then one day I actually met a Transwoman, and after talking to her at length, I began to see things a little differently.

These days I date both GGs and TS. However, I do find dating TS to be much more difficult and taxing than dating GGs. For every down to earth, low keyed/laid back one, there are 8 more who are extremely dramatic and superficial. There is also the difficulty of getting past the negative view of men. You will find that the girls have a hard time trusting you, and are just waiting for you to do something stupid. Some will keep you at bay emotionally for fear that you would hurt them. They have had countless "chasers" leave them for the next best thing, and are not willing to open up emotionally.

After you get past that, you still have personality and sexual differences to deal with. Being able to get along on a daily basis is key. Also, some girls just wanna bend a dude over, and if you are a "top", then the relationship is over before it starts.....lol

And finally, there is the constant changing of a girl. The girl you met, might not be the same girl a year or two down the road, depending on where she was in her transition.

All in all it's a difficult world to navigate. There are a lot of hoops to navigate, and your patience level has to be high. You also have to have a bit of understanding as to what she is trying to do, and where she is trying to go. Before you jump into this world, realize what you are getting yourself into. If it's not for you, just keep it moving!

Speaking as a transsexual woman....the challenges are just as great from a reverse perspective. Trying to find a man who sees you as a person and not as an object is next to impossible, as a transsexual woman. Men say they want a relationship on one hand and then three seconds later they are asking "How big are you" ?

Transsexuals are conditioned to be tough. I don't think a lot of guys really appreciate the daily struggles of what it is to live your life as a transsexual and be judged at every turn. So of course some transsexuals have a chip on their shoulders but it can be softened.

Many men are 1st introduced to transsexuals via porn and I believe it colors they way they interact with transsexuals. Many think we're all promiscuous sluts who are put on earth for their sexual entertainment. If you are lucky enough to find a guy who is able to see past the physical....you have to contend with the fact that most men are no open about their affinity for transsexual women, which creates another set of hurdles.

We have to find the balance between allowing a man the time to come to terms with his sexuality on his own timetable but at the same time manage to now allow ourselves to feel like his dirty little secret.


There's a lot of work to be done on both ends.

[nonnonnon]

In my defense, I learned of it from that terrible mtv show 'the real world'

[BeardedOne]

Speaking as a transsexual woman....the challenges are just as great from a reverse perspective. Trying to find a man who sees you as a person and not as an object is next to impossible, as a transsexual woman. Men say they want a relationship on one hand and then three seconds later they are asking "How big are you" ?

Transsexuals are conditioned to be tough. I don't think a lot of guys really appreciate the daily struggles of what it is to live your life as a transsexual and be judged at every turn. So of course some transsexuals have a chip on their shoulders but it can be softened.

Many men are 1st introduced to transsexuals via porn and I believe it colors they way they interact with transsexuals. Many think we're all promiscuous sluts who are put on earth for their sexual entertainment. If you are lucky enough to find a guy who is able to see past the physical....you have to contend with the fact that most men are no open about their affinity for transsexual women, which creates another set of hurdles.

We have to find the balance between allowing a man the time to come to terms with his sexuality on his own timetable but at the same time manage to now allow ourselves to feel like his dirty little secret.


There's a lot of work to be done on both ends.

I read through the other posts, but this is the one that triggered a response.

Speaking for myself:

Though I understand the fetish-object twist of any (Dare I say: All?) relationship that a man has with a TS (And, not to limit this conversation: A woman may have with a F2M TS), I have to admit, from my own point of view, that the fetish is pretty much inescapable. It's akin to a breast fetish or whether or not a woman has red or blonde hair, is tall or petite. If the man is more secure in his own sexuality, without fear of being labeled, then the fetish blossoms into a clear attraction for a particular type of mate, in this case, transgendered people.

If a man meets you for dinner and a show, on a social, rather than commercial basis (Not an escort situation), and winds up that nice evening with some variant as "How big are you?", then the entire date devolves into a random fuckfest no more valuable than some guy walking up to a strange woman at a bar and asking "Hey, wanna fuck?". That's not a relationship, it's an encounter.

As to the daily struggles of a TS, we can certainly sympathize/empathize and try to show our support, as best we can, but the likelihood that we may 'understand' is pretty slim. I'm thinking of a comedy film, some years ago, where the guy used tanning lotion to change his skin color to score a minority scholarship. When he was caught out, a professor asks him how it feels to be black (After the student experiences a number of racial slurs, discrimination, etc.) and the student answers [Paraphrased]: "I have no idea how it feels to be black. At any time, I knew that I could get out of it.".

True, though I have met a fair number of trans-people in the real world, most that I interact with on a regular basis are involved in the sex industry in some form or another. In my situation, I don't judge or condemn them for what I see as just a job. Yah, it's tough, but I try to keep a level head on the circumstances.

To '...another set of hurdles...'. Yah, that's a tough one. Though it is societal in nature it is entirely subject to the strength and character of the individual. I like to think that I've gotten past that sort of bullshit as far as how I interact with the partners I've known in recent years, but it is subjective and I'm not the one to judge upon how well (Or not) I am doing.

I spent a delightful weekend with one girl recently wherein I introduced her to dozens upon dozens of friends and associates over the course of two days. I think she suffered a bit of overload from the experience and I'm not sure if it was just from the sheer number of people that we encountered or the fact that I had no issue introducing her or in how they might think/react to our friendship. My primary concerns for the weekend were that she had a good time, got enough sleep, and got home safely. How big she was truly wasn't much of an issue.

I've long ago gotten past how I view my own sexuality and, I think, I have tamed the 'dirty little secret' demon to some extent (Perhaps far more than others).

My history is pretty well known on these forums, and being the penultimate pessimist, I don't see my overall point of view, as regards interpersonal relationships, changing anytime between now and death. Yet, hope springs eternal, as it were, and life often hands us reprieves from our innermost gallows'.

Mayhaps I'll get that reprieve some day and it may be at the behest of one of our special ladies. Only time, and their own head, hand, and heart will tell.

[amberskyi]

It's a tough world as you well know Natasha.


I can see why some guys end up like Daryl. You come in determined to be respectful and committed, only to find girls who are only interested in your pockets, or getting some quick dick. LOL

The crazy part is the older girls are schooling the younger ones in the "ways" too, so almost everyone is doing it. That's how you get young girls, like a few on here, talking the way they do about men. Meanwhile, they really have no experience with it, they are just taking on the persona of their teacher.

It takes a lot of mental fortitude to navigate these waters.

do you really think that the girls on this forum have little experience with men?
most of us have been dealing with guys our whole lives and the attention just increased as we transitioned.
im young but because of being trans and being an escort i have come in contact with alot of men.because of the nature of my work im exposed to the worst in men on a daily bases.luckily i havent been made completely bitter by it.
between the guys i meet as an escort and just the general disappointments that one goes through in life it a bit of a struggle to not just give up,write men off all together.luckily i had one good man in my life who has given me hope for the future.

[goku]

do you really think that the girls on this forum have little experience with men?
most of us have been dealing with guys our whole lives and the attention just increased as we transitioned.
im young but because of being trans and being an escort i have come in contact with alot of men.because of the nature of my work im exposed to the worst in men on a daily bases.luckily i havent been made completely bitter by it.
between the guys i meet as an escort and just the general disappointments that one goes through in life it a bit of a struggle to not just give up,write men off all together.luckily i had one good man in my life who has given me hope for the future.

by "younger", I mean 19-20.


and by experience, I mean relationship experience.


Some of these girls are talking that way before they even have had a couple boyfriends in life. There is no way at the age of 20 anyone has a solid grasp on relationships. No one is really that serious about them at that age, so to form your opinion about men by then, is a little ridiculous.

I agree with you about meeting the worst kind of men with your line of work, and that's exactly what I thinking is ruining these girls idea of relationships before they have even given it a chance. They look at all men as tricks, simply because they have never really not. You said you have had a decent relationship to keep you balanced, well imagine if you hadn't, and you got what I see quit frequently.

I am not your regular dude Amber. I am out in the community. The TS girls I know, are on my facebook. I take girls out to eat, and to the movies. I treat ts girls the same as I do ggs.

[LibertyHarkness]

someone has been naughty it seems

[JoePitt]

how many times did you fuck Tina before you fucked me. take a bow you really had me going.

Well unless he told you he was a virgin before he met you, I fail to see how that is in any way relevant.

[lisaparadise]

Well unless he told you he was a virgin before he met you, I fail to see how that is in any way relevant.

kids lol

[Jericho]

As to the daily struggles of a TS, we can certainly sympathize/empathize and try to show our support, as best we can, but the likelihood that we may 'understand' is pretty slim. I'm thinking of a comedy film, some years ago, where the guy used tanning lotion to change his skin color to score a minority scholarship. When he was caught out, a professor asks him how it feels to be black (After the student experiences a number of racial slurs, discrimination, etc.) and the student answers [Paraphrased]: "I have no idea how it feels to be black. At any time, I knew that I could get out of it.".

Soul Man, excellent film.
James Earl Jones played the professor.

[phobun]

how many times did you fuck Tina before you fucked me. take a bow you really had me going.

She can make a broader point from this. Chasers will promote themselves as interested in the girl and with little or no history of cockbanditry, when in reality, all the chaser cares about is scoring his next penis, which the chaser calls a girl.