Trans-girls and relationships.....

[onmyknees]

I think that's one of the most timely, relevant, revealing posts I've read on HA. When I first joined, I was thinking that type of discussion would predominate here, but it obviously doesn't. I enjoy the humor and there's some pretty witty people in here, and on occasion the political discussions are engaging, but there are a thousand political blogs out there. Although I hesitate to generalize, you're spot on about the drama, and mistrust, of many T ladies, and unlike many on here, I'm drama averse. LOL. I have come to a better understanding of some of the reasons for the ladies caution and apprehension, but I do find it exhausting at times. I admire you had the balls to put your feelings out there, in an attempt to further an honest dialogue. I also enjoyed some of the ladies responses.

[phobun]

truthfully,

most people aren't successful because their priorities are everywhere but on their relationship. They put everything first, and take that part for granted. Money, possessions, work, and even kids. If you never work on you, then it will not function like it's supposed to.


It's pretty simple really.


If you are in a coma for a couple years, and aren't using your legs, eventually they will wither and die. Relationships are no different. If all you are doing is sleeping next to someone, your relationship will wither and die also. All things work the same way, and people who lose sight of that typically find themselves alone.

They are, it's just people have gotten a little out of whack.

This is the "sense of entitlement" era. We expect to not have to work hard for something. Relationships have to be cultivated daily. They are like plants. You have to go out to eat. Go to the movies. Spend time together.

If not, then you end up the same way you are with friends who moved away. After a few quicks laughs about old times, you catch each other up on recent activities, then the convo is over. Why? Because you haven't been cultivating your relationship on a daily basis.

These are wise words.

[pointblack]

I once met a transdog who own a transworm

[dderek123]

Yeah wise words goku. You are spot on as usual.

So people are too distracted by their lifestyles to put enough work in to maintain a relationship. Perhaps that is why back in the day relationships lasted because most people didn't have the means to pursue a lifestyle that would distract them from the important relationships in their life.

[south09]

Yeah wise words goku. You are spot on as usual.

So people are too distracted by their lifestyles to put enough work in to maintain a relationship. Perhaps that is why back in the day relationships lasted because most people didn't have the means to pursue a lifestyle that would distract them from the important relationships in their life.

This, and what's important to people has by-and-large changed too.

Nowadays, so many people want all their ducks to be in a row before they add a relationship partner to their lives. They want to be finished with school, entrenched in a career, own a home/vehicle, and maybe date/sleep around a bit so they don't have a half-occupied bed all 365 days of the year. This is the first generation that has de-prioritized true relationship-building to this degree, and the quality/length/authenticity of relationships suffers for it. It's hard to connect with someone who has you so far down on their list of priorities, and the further into life you get alone, the less likely you'd be willing to accommodate a second person into your routine.

Before, you grew together with somebody. Maybe both of you had an undergrad-mobile, neither of you owned a home, maybe one of you planned to go to post-graduate school. The working partner held it down for the school partner financially, a home was purchased together after you both began working, one car was replaced with a family vehicle, then the other with something a bit more fun... your relationship lasted, because at every real step of the way, you had someone else by your side.

The fact that I connect with older women (all of the above is just more likely to be) and that I'm attracted to TS women as well (needle in a haystack) pretty much has me wedged between a rock and Travis Henry's boxers.

[dderek123]

So things will continue this way until we have to do other wise. Until we have to rely on one another. Life is good enough right now that we can say: "Fuck relationships I'm getting mine first".

[goku]

Everyone read this................


Once the "ready made" philosophy of life drifted over into society it was over.

People are told at an early age to go and get a person with (fill in the blank). So, instead of finding a person they like, they hunt for a person who has the shit they deem makes them a success. Then they try to make that person work for them as far as chemistry of personality/attraction goes.

At the end of the day, when it all crumbles around you, it comes down to the foundation of a relationship. You can build the biggest, most beautiful house you want on sand, however, when the sand shifts, that house will crumble.

Find a person who fits you, and build an empire together. Step by step, brick by brick. When hard times come, and they always do, you will find that the house not rushed together, and built on a strong foundation, will not crumble when the winds blow. Quit worrying about what job they have, people change those things multiple times through life. If the two of you throw into the pot without selfishness, you will be surprised how much you can do TOGETHER. That has been lost on a lot of people.

[Kevin Dong]

Everyone read this................


Once the "ready made" philosophy of life drifted over into society it was over.

People are told at an early age to go and get a person with (fill in the blank). So, instead of finding a person they like, they hunt for a person who has the shit they deem makes them a success. Then they try to make that person work for them as far as chemistry of personality/attraction goes.

At the end of the day, when it all crumbles around you, it comes down to the foundation of a relationship. You can build the biggest, most beautiful house you want on sand, however, when the sand shifts, that house will crumble.

Find a person who fits you, and build an empire together. Step by step, brick by brick. When hard times come, and they always do, you will find that the house not rushed together, and built on a strong foundation, will not crumble when the winds blow. Quit worrying about what job they have, people change those things multiple times through life. If the two of you throw into the pot without selfishness, you will be surprised how much you can do TOGETHER. That has been lost on a lot of people.

Awesome post Goku. You sound like a very level headed and intellectual guy.
I agree 100%. Well done.