Greatest Quotes of all Time

[Ineeda SM]

I was carrying my matress on my back out to the street, and a cop asked me why. I told him some guy wanted curb service.
............Mae West

[Prospero]

Beckett

[transmaven]

On over-indulgence with drink, to the extent of becoming a beast: "He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man."
Anecdotes of the Rvd Percival Stockdale (reprinted in "Johnsonian Miscellanies", edited by G.B. Hill).
"Sir, a woman's preaching is like a dog's walking on his hind legs. It is not done well; but you are surprised to find it done at all."
from Boswell's Life of Johnson

"No man but a blockhead ever wrote, except for money."
from Boswell's Life of Johnson

On second marriages: "The triumph of hope over experience."
from Boswell's Life of Johnson

"Much may be made of a Scotchman, if he be caught young."
from Boswell's Life of Johnson

"Human life is everywhere a state in which much is to be endured, and little to be enjoyed."
Johnson: Rasselas [said by the character Imlac]

"A man, Sir, should keep his friendship in constant repair."
from Boswell's Life of Johnson

"No man will be a sailor who has contrivance enough to get himself into jail; for being in a ship is being in a jail, with the chance of being drowned."
from Boswell's Life of Johnson

"Depend upon it, sir, when a man knows he is to be hanged in a fortnight, it concentrates his mind wonderfully."
from Boswell's Life of Johnson

"Sir, I have found you an argument; but I am not obliged to find you an understanding."
from Boswell's Life of Johnson

Definition of "oats": "A grain, which in England is generally given to horses, but in Scotland appears to support the people."
Johnson: A Dictionary Of The English Language. (A selection of definitions can be found here.)

...much enquiry having been made concerning a gentleman, who had quitted a company where Johnson was, and no information being obtained; at last Johnson observed, that 'he did not care to speak ill of any man behind his back, but he believed the gentleman was an attorney'.
from Boswell's Life of Johnson
"Exercise!! I never heard that he used any: he might, for aught I know, walk to the alehouse; but I believe he was always carried home again."
Piozzi: Anecdotes

[Stavros]

"A man with a watch always knows what time it is. A man with two is never quite sure."
- Confucius

I was puzzled by this quote because Confucius would not have known what a watch is, so I Googled it but it seems to be someone called Lee Segall -American advertising guru or something like that?

[Jennifer_English]

English, motherfucker, do you speak it?

~ Jules

[HbgDon]

“Never lie to someone who trusts you. Never trust someone who lies to you.” - Dexter Morgan

"It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me." - Bruce Wayne

[iamdrgonzo]

"But how is this legal plunder to be identified? Quite simply. See if the law takes from some persons what belongs to them and gives it to the other persons to whom it doesn't belong. See if the law benefits one citizen at the expense of another by doing what the citizen himself cannot do without committing a crime. Then abolish that law without delay ... No legal plunder; this is the principle of justice, peace, order, stability, harmony and logic." ~ Frederic Bastiat

[iamdrgonzo]

"The only things that government makes – as I've said before – is criminals out of innocent people, and corpses out of living human beings."

~ William Norman Grigg

[Prospero]

Turn on, Tune In, Drop Out

Timothy Leary

[Johnny O]

No tickee...NO laundry!
Jack Nicholson as Frank Costello in The Departed.