As I sit on the toilet weeing, I look down between my legs at the stream of water issuing from a barely visible bump where there used to be an average size penis and at the incipient cleft below where once hung a well-filled scrotum; I see the flaring, womanly breadth of my hips and feel my large erect nipples tingling, stimulated by the coarse cotton top that is so tight across my swelling breasts; and I feel once again the emotion made of equal parts terror and elation wash over me as I contemplate the extent of my unmanning, my feminisation, and shy away from the knowledge of where this journey will inevitably end.
How had it come to this? How did idle erotic fantasies lead to such a transformation? I examine my slender hands, trying not to feel the heavy gold bracelets - those symbols of my bondage - around my wrists, and try to cast my mind back to the man I used to be; to find the turning point, the moment when I first set foot on this path that leads from John to Jessica.
Was it the night with the shemale in Amsterdam, perhaps? It was the first time I realised a major sexual fantasy. I had gone there on holiday during a cold, grey week in November. One evening, I decided to wander around the red light district to see if anyone caught my fancy, and as I wandered, I came upon an alley, smaller and darker than the rest, with one lit window part way along. My curiosity was piqued, so I approached and saw a magnificent woman standing there. She was over six feet tall, slim and toned with small breasts whose jutting nipples were accentuated by the thin silk shift she wore. She smiled at me and beckoned. I approached the door by the window and knocked timidly. She opened it and I gazed up at her, awestruck.
"Come in," she said, "and let's talk about what I can do for you." I smiled nervously and entered.
"Don't be nervous. I'm here for your pleasure. You can spend an hour with me for a hundred, or the night for five hundred."
"I'd like to spend the night, please." I handed over the money and she took me upstairs to a small bedroom with a large bed.
"Take your clothes off." I complied. "Oh all smooth, I see. I like that. Now come here and undress me." I approached her, enjoying the sensation of my semi-stiff penis swinging about in front of me, and lifted her shift off over her head. I stepped back to admire her and my jaw dropped, an electric jolt of pleasure shot through my anus and up my spine, and my penis immediately became stiffer than it had ever been. For hanging down between her smooth round thighs was a long thick penis.
"I see you like me," she said, half mockingly, " now get down on your knees and put your pretty little mouth to work." I knelt at her feet. Up close, her penis seemed enormous. I stooped down lower, till my mouth was level with the head of her penis. I kissed it. Then I put my lips against the tip of her foreskin and pushed forward, so that the silky smooth head of her penis entered my mouth naked. I sucked gently, taking in as much of her warm soft flesh as I could. She tasted wonderful. All the Michelin starred restaurants in all the world could not compete. I gazed up at her as she took my head in her hands and began to slide in and out of my mouth. As she grew harder, my hips jerked and I came, lost in the joy of submission; but my excitement did not lessen, and she did not stop using my mouth.
Eventually she became fully erect. Her penis was long and thick and straight - a thing of beauty adorning a beautiful woman - and half of it was wet and shiny with my saliva.
"You're a good cocksucker. Submissive and eager to be used."
"Thank you"
"Now we're going to play a different game. Spread your legs." She knelt behind me and pulled me against her so that her penis was sandwiched upright between her belly and my cheeks. Her long thick shaft pushed them apart as she pressed against me. I fell forward onto my elbows and came again. I was so excited my anus felt like it was gaping a foot wide so eager was I to feel the big round head of her penis bump against it; to feel her slowly push that long thick shaft deep inside and spread me wide open.
But she was not in a hurry.
She held me against her and rubbed up and down, letting the full length and breadth stimulate my anus. I matched her movements, and was rewarded with additional sparks of pleasure when her testicles bumped against mine.
Eventually I had to move. "Can we change position, please? My knees hurt." She rose to her feet with effortless grace, helped me up off the floor, and led me over to the bed. My penis was still hard and wiggled from side to side as I walked, spreading long slippery strings of sperm and precum across my thighs.
She put a pillow in the middle of the mattress. "Lie on that and put your arms above your head." I did as I was told, and she straddled me, the tip of her penis against my lips. "Suck me." I opened my mouth and was rewarded once more with the taste and feel of her flesh inside me. I felt her doing something to my wrists, and then found that I could not move my hands. I struggled. "Don't worry it's just a little light bondage. You'll enjoy the helplessness when I decide to fuck you." I relaxed and concentrated on sucking her beautiful big penis.
She pulled out of my mouth and prepared to fuck me, generously lubricating her penis as it bounced gently to the rhythm of her pulse. When she was ready, she got between my eagerly spread legs, and put the head of her penis against my hungry, open anus. She held it there, pressing gently, but making no effort to enter me.
She smiled at me. "Like it?" My hips jerked down of their own volition, trying to impale me on her penis. But she relaxed and moved back, keeping her penis in position as I moaned and bucked and strained at my bonds. She continued to tease me like this until I was almost weeping with frustrated need.
"If you want me to fuck you, you'll have to beg."
"Please fuck me, please."
She laughed. "Tell me you're a dirty little girly boy and you're only good for one thing."
"I'm a dirty little girly boy and I'm only good for one thing."
"And what's that?"
"Being fucked. Please?"
She leaned forward over me and I moaned with pleasure as she pressed her cock harder against my hole. She started with small movements, each one sending a shiver of pleasure through me. A fixed grin of ecstasy spread over my face as I experienced the joy of being penetrated. As she slowly moved deeper into me, the sensation of being at once so open, so vulnerable, and so tightly stretched made me come again.
Her thrusts became longer, more powerful: nearly pulling out of me before plunging in again, each time further than before, until she was all the way in. She felt enormous inside me as I moaned and writhed and tried to pull away, not knowing whether I felt painful pleasure or pleasurable pain. These feelings subsided and I relaxed. I was filled up, loose, and yet stretched tight. She saw I was ready and began to fuck me in earnest with short, hard, powerful thrusts, using me for her pleasure as much as mine.
I lost awareness of everything except the tingling, tickling sensation of her long, thick cock rubbing against my insides, the soft squelching noises of my stretched hole, and the slapping of her belly against my buttocks. Somewhere in this sea of pleasure I had one last orgasm and, all desire spent, happily concentrated on trying to squeeze my gaping hole as tight around her cock as possible. Now the positions were reversed, and I was happily serving her.
She came at last, "you're a good fuck," she said. "Perhaps I should leave you tied to the bed for the dayshift." I gave her a frightened look, and she laughed, "don't worry," she said, and untied me. "Did you enjoy yourself, then?"
"Yes, very much, thank you."