...

[Ecstatic]

ty, Arianna.

[Quinn]

I would have to say that I consider myself to be both very happy and extremely fortunate. I truly enjoy my life and the opportunities that are available to me. Things just keep getting better with every passing year.

Had you asked me the same question in my youth (I'm now 34), I would have answered quite differently. This may have something to do with the fact that my life was a shit storm of biblical proportions from my childhood through my early twenties. The strange thing is that all of the events that contributed to my earlier dissatisfaction also laid the groundwork for my eventual happiness (starting in my mid-twenties). Without the exceedingly dark experiences of my youth, I would never have developed the capacity to accomplish the many things I hold dear today.

My advice: take carefully calculated risks and always look for the opportunities that come with adversity.

-Quinn

[Ecstatic]

Am I happy? No--I'm Ecstatic!!!!

(D'oh! I wish I had thought of that sooner!)

[slinky]

no

[MacShreach]

I'm also a huge worrier. .

Honey, worrying is natural. However it is counterproductive because it saps your ability to focus your positive attitude into achieving your goals. So you have to learn to deal with it.

If the subject of worry is something real, like, an exam coming up, a job interview, being short of cash, try to manage worry by combating it. Take steps now to avert whatever it is that you're worrying about, or if it can't be averted, to minimise the bad consequences. Revise and prepare, make sure your look is what you want to project, go over your budget. Take practical steps. When you have done all you really can, move on. If the worry comes back, take a good look at what you've done. Is it enough? If not do more. If you can really say you've done enough/all you can, then the worry will diminish anyway.

A really good technique, though a hard one to master, is to prepare for worry-generating events to the point that you are actually looking forward to them. You can't wait for the exam, you really want to do the job interview, you're aching to get up there and play your first gig......If you can get to this mental state your performance will improve in spades, and getting there is in the preparation.

Now a lot of "worrying" is about things that actually might never happen. This is "what if?" worrying. It is completely negative and destructive. This sort of worry goes like "What if I can't get a job once I graduate?" "What if I can't get my book published once it's written?" "What if they all think I'm completely gauche and I say all the wrong things?" "What if I do all this work and nothing comes of it?" This is totally negative and very corrosive, but the world is full of people who didn't graduate/didn't write their novel/didn't go to the party/wasted their lives watching TV because of it.

To add insult to injury, that kind of worry is not real worry at all. It's just self-doubt and low self-esteem coming out to haunt you. Banish it.

Do you notice something else? "Real" worry events are timetabled. You know when they are going to happen, you can plan and prepare for them. They are identifiable. "What if?" worry events are much more diffuse, and further in the future, indefinite. So, here's a trick. Deal with worry events chronologically. Something important is happening next week? Right, prepare, study, rehearse, do the work, get practical, get ready. This is not worrying, it's preparing. Something else coming up next month? Get this one through before you tackle that, but be ready to begin preparation. Maybe do some background reading, learn some of the stuff. Something might maybe happen six months, a year, down the road? Get back to that when it gets itself a date and a time.

Things that will happen and you will have to deal with, you prepare your very best for and give 'em hell. Things that might never happen probably never will anyway-- unless you really screw yourself up-- by worrying about them! SO DON'T.

So-- this is your motto-- "Don't worry, be happy." Love. xxx

[Chica]

No - ever since my mum passed away 2 and a half years ago, i've never felt the same, family hasn't been the same, friends haven't been the same. Don't want to really get into it, but I've felt suicidal, but I don't want to do it, incase it's worse on the other side.

[wukinpunub68]

Life is good, could be better. but then again I'm greedy.

[dajuicy]

yea....it can be completely up and down, sunny for a spell, clear lovely, not a cloud in the sky feeling, and not related to nothing really, and then it gets overcast, dark as shit....i withdraw into a shell, life is not worth living, im a sad fking failure, beating up on myself bla bla. bullshit, and then....and that can be a long depressive stint, and then badabing...its sunny again....nothing really changed except the internal weather....when its cloudy, and dark, wish i knew a way to change the nature of the winds, but it always runs it course.....i sometimes cry too, can be a sad or happy cry, and it can suddenly wash over me when i think of someone or something....can be walking down 57th st. and suddenly start tearing up.....hang in there megaman.....one of a handful of voices in here that shoot from the hip and riff from the heart...dajuicy

[MacShreach]

No - ever since my mum passed away 2 and a half years ago, i've never felt the same, family hasn't been the same, friends haven't been the same. Don't want to really get into it, but I've felt suicidal, but I don't want to do it, incase it's worse on the other side.

I feel for you. I lost my father when I was 15. Losing a parent when you are young is deeply scarring event, and it takes years and years to get over. But you will. Have faith.

[BeardedOne]

Joke time: An engineering major asks "How do you do that?" An economics major asks "How much does that cost?" A philosophy major asks "Why do you do that?" An English major asks "Do you want fries with that?"

A fellow is flying in a hot air balloon when he realizes that he's become lost. He looks down and sees a man below and lowers the balloon to ask for directions.

"Excuse me, could you please tell me where I am?" he shouts.
"Yes, you are in a hot air balloon approximately fifty feet above the ground" sez the man.
"Ha!" shouts the balloonist, "You got me! You must be an engineer"
"You're right!" shouts the man, "How did you know?"
"Because your answer is technically correct but is of no use to me"
"Ah! " sez the man, "You must be in management"
"That's right!" sez the balloonist, "How did you know?"
"Because you don't know where you are or where you're going, but now it's my fault!"

To stay on topic, neither of these men is very happy. :P

Angela, when do you graduate? I am sometimes in your neighborhood and could be an easy touch for a congratulatory pizza.