I want to marry Mimi Plastique

[worldbro]

James Hunt,

So your in love and want to marry MiMi, but she probably has a boyfriend and wouldn't have sex with you anyway
What you will need: 1 x knife, 1 x ring, access to a sunbed, the ability to grow a beard.

Step One: Place the ring on your wedding finger and avoid contact with Mimi for a month.

Step Two: Stop shaving and use the sunbed to get a tan.

Step Three: After a month when your beard is full and your tan is noticeable, remove the ring from your finger.

Step Four: Remove all your clothes and break into Mimi's house.

Step Five: Use the knife to cut your body in various places. Avoid the Face. If possible, focus on your back. The more blood the better.

Step Six: Enter MiMi's bedroom and lie face down on the floor. Wait for her return.

Step Seven: When she enters the room pretend to be unconscious. Allow her to turn you over and try to wake you for a few seconds before you open your eyes. The injuries to your body will serve as a distraction to your nakedness. She will be more concerned about your wellbeing instead of fearing the naked man in her room.

Step Eight: When MiMi asks you whats happened you should ignore her questions. Instead you must act confused and ask the date. If its September 30th she will say "September 30th" to which you must reply "No what year is it?"

Step Nine: Upon hearing the year say the words "it worked". Pretend to lose consciousness again for a few seconds, implying that whatever it is that has worked took a great effort.

Step Ten: Being as MiMi is a curious person she will probably ask "What worked?", even if she doesn't ask this question it is important that you now say the words "MiMi, I'm from the future" in your most deadpan voice.

Step Eleven: Pause for ten seconds to allow the incredibleness of the situation to sink in. There will be no reason for her to doubt your claim, because your beard will make you appear many years older and your cuts would add weight to the idea that you've come from a post-apocalyptic future where war is currently taking place.

Step Twelve: Raise your left hand to your face. All women are observant, so MiMi will immediately notice the tanline on your wedding finger. MiMi is educated to a decent standard so she will realize that you are married and your ring has simply disappeared, because clothing and other items cannot travel through time. Your nudity will support this.

Step Thirteen: Now comes the hard part - The monologue. In your own words you must give a speech that mention all these key points.

a) You are married to each other in the future
b) Her current boyfriend is dead
c) The world is coming to an end. It's up to you to pick a reason, but I would recommend a war against machines. This whole situation will be backed up by the Terminator franchise.
d) In the future your relationship is not going well
e) You've come back in time because you can't help the fact that she would of been happier with her current boyfriend if he hadn't been killed
f) Her current boyfriend is going to be hit by a bus on a day six months from her present. She should stop him from going to work that day.
g) If she does exactly what you say this current version of yourself will be erased in the future, you will never get married and you will be stuck in this timeline. If she questions this flaw in your time travel logic, because you cannot change the past, simply reference Back to the Future

Step Fourteen: Unless MiMi is made of stone she will now be overcome by emotion, especially at your selflessness. Get to your feet and go to kiss her goodbye. It is important that you do this with the confidence of a man who has done this many times.

Step Fifteen: There is no possible way that you aren't about to have sex with her. Your naked, kissing her, in her bedroom, agreeing to get stuck in this timeline away from your own just to make her happy. And as far as she knows you've had sex many times in a future that will no longer happen, so she thinks to herself maybe she should have one memory of it.

Step Sixteen: After having the sex, ask to borrow some clothes then leave.

Step Seventeen: Shave off your beard and coat your wedding finger in fake tan. Carry on as if nothing happened. There will be two possible outcomes:

1) During the sex some feelings that she didn't know existed are awakened and she will leave her boyfriend and marry you.
2) Life will carry on as normal, but hey at least you got the chance to have sex with MiMi one time.

Prove me wrong.

[Nicole Dupre]

James Hunt,

So your...

TMI + psychobabble =

[Silcc69]

He's always good for a LOL worthy moment,

[mimiplastique]

i think that this thread is some of the funniest shit i have read in a LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNN NNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGG TIME

[Jim Brown]

Win the lotto.

make her fall in love with you...

[Nicole Dupre]

Win the lotto.

ditto.
You can marry pretty much anyone if you have enough money
but
Money = tranny best friend.

So, in other words, we're all 'whores', huh? It's like you're calling Mimi a whore in your own cutesy way. Ya know, you should all apologize for copping that lame 'tude. You guys infer we're all whores, but then you cry like sissies when you get called fags.

With "enough money", you can get some attention and maybe a sugar baby. But even using the phrase, "enough money", shows where you're minds are at. No one has "enough money" imo. "Enough" for what? Getting too comfy and becoming unproductive? Women aren't cars that you can own and keep the keys in your pocket. "Enough money" is for chumps. Who'd want to marry one of those?

Anyway, I doubt James will ever marry anyone. Perhaps he's not a "bad guy", but he's a hot mess. He should start with "enough brains in his head", and take it from there. Mimi has achieved plenty by just being Mimi. Wtf do you guys have to show her. Your post counts and avatars? lol

[Jim Brown]

Win the lotto.

make her fall in love with you...

So, in other words, we're all 'whores', huh? It's like you're calling Mimi a whore in your own cutesy way. Ya know, you should all apologize for copping that lame 'tude. You guys infer we're all whores, but then you cry like sissies when you get called fags.

With "enough money", you can get some attention and maybe a sugar baby. But even using the phrase, "enough money", shows where you're minds are at. No one has "enough money" imo. "Enough" for what? Getting too comfy and becoming unproductive? Women aren't cars that you can own and keep the keys in your pocket. "Enough money" is for chumps. Who'd want to marry one of those?

Anyway, I doubt James will ever marry anyone. Perhaps he's not a "bad guy", but he's a hot mess. He should start with "enough brains in his head", and take it from there. Mimi has achieved plenty by just being Mimi. Wtf do you guys have to show her. Your post counts and avatars? lol

I was just about to recant when i saw to comment, but yeah i'm sorry and i never apologize. So i really mean it.

... lastnite i had a dream... a nitemare that my girl left me for some rich asshole. She said she was leaving and then her spoken words turned into written words...it was weird.

[Jim Brown]

yeah Nicloe can you edit your comment so that my comment says "make her fall in love with you..." or just erase my quote all together.

"the pen is stronger than the knife." this not a pen but the samething...written words.

In the beginning there was the word and the word became life.

[Nicole Dupre]

yeah Nicloe can you edit your comment so that my comment says "make her fall in love with you..." or just erase my quote all together.

"the pen is stronger than the knife." this not a pen but the samething...written words.

In the beginning there was the word and the word became life.

Yeah, I know. "Word is born." All kinds of angry dudes go around saying that shit. "Asalam Alaikum, my brother", "Women don't go to heaven unless they suck my dick right", and "yada yada yada". Please. Misogyny is built right into that quasi-spiritual creedo.

But, wow. You never apologize? What up with that? I'm outspoken but, if I fuck up, I apologize. But you just can't, huh? What strength of character. lol

But I'll let you get back to that stellar life you lead. SORRY I bothered. :P

[Jim Brown]

yeah Nicloe can you edit your comment so that my comment says "make her fall in love with you..." or just erase my quote all together.

"the pen is stronger than the knife." this not a pen but the samething...written words.

In the beginning there was the word and the word became life.

Yeah, I know. "Word is born." All kinds of angry dudes go around saying that shit. "Asalam Alaikum, my brother", "Women don't go to heaven unless they suck my dick right", and "yada yada yada". Please. Misogyny is built right into that quasi-spiritual creedo.

But, wow. You never apologize? What up with that? I'm outspoken but, if I fuck up, I apologize. But you just can't, huh? What strength of character. lol

But I'll let you get back to that stellar life you lead. SORRY I bothered. :P

Yeah i'm a character but i have no character. Why.... like the those great poets from linkin park said "in the end what does it really matter" what kind of life you lead. if you sacrifice babies to your wife and drink the blood from her ass or go in the mountains and become a monk it doesnt matter in the end. all you can do is live your life and have fun and fuck what ppl think. thats why i get a kick out of fucking with ppl who take everything so serious....i doesnt matter. Why so serious?