Give a laugh / get a laugh

[TessTickles]

As I lay on my bed, thinking about you, I feel this strong urge to grab you and squeeze you, because I can't forget last night. You came to me unexpectedly during the balmy and calm night, and what happened in my bed still leaves a tingling sensation in me.

You appeared from nowhere and shamelessly without any reservations, you laid on my naked body... you sensed my indifference, so you applied your hungry mouth to me without any guilt or humiliation, and you drove me near crazy while you drained me. Finally I went to sleep.

Today when I woke up, you were gone, I searched for you but to no avail, only the sheets bore witness to last nights events. My body still bears faint marks of your enthusiastic ravishing, making it harder to forget you. Tonight I will remain awake waiting for you.....
You F*!?ing mosquito!

[raybbaby]

Because of the economic hard times we are facing, a married couple I know were forced to take some rather drastic action. Being very sexually liberated, they decided that the wife would turn a few tricks to make some extra money. But her being totally unfamiliar with how that goes, had to have her husband hide in the bushes near the corner they had staked out, to try to whisper helpful instructions should she need any coaching.
After a few minutes a car pulled up. The gentleman inside rolled down the window, and said, "hey baby, how much for some head"? There was a long pause as she was unsure what to say. Her husband whispered hoarsley, "tell 'im 50 bucks". She did, to which he replied, "well then, how much for a piece of ass"? Another pause and her husband whispered again, "tell 'im 100 bucks", which she did.
The man checked and said "well, I've only got $50, so i guess it's just head for me". He handed her the $50 and proceeded to pull out the biggest, thickest cock she had ever seen in her life!
Very quickly she turned to her still hidden husband and whispered excitedly "Honey, do you think I could borrow 50 dollars"?

[hotvegasguy26]

lol @ raybbaby...pretty funny..... here's mine

a gay guy walks into a tattoo parlor and says to the tattoo artist "i want a truck tattooed on the side of my cock"

the tattoo artist says "ok i can do that, what kind of truck do you want on your cock?"

and the gay guy says "doesnt matter.....just make sure it's a 4x4 cuz i'm goin muddin"

[raybbaby]

Wait, why does he have to be gay? I'm not, and I hope to go muddin'.

[hotvegasguy26]

its....a....joke

[transmaven]

bet ya didn't know that Abe Lincoln was jewish?

yep, he got shot in the temple...

ta dum

[TessTickles]

What's the difference between a motel room and a vagina?
When you enter a vagina, your bags stay outside.

Why shouldn'ta woman hold in a fart?
Because, her tampon might pop out.

Reporter: Governor, do you support capital punishment?
Governor: Yes, but I don't believe women should be hung like men.

One guy tells another that he read that the Polish space agency had plans
send a man to the sun.
The second guy replies: "Thats stupid, hell be burned up."
"No he won't" the first man says, "They're going to send him at night."

[hotvegasguy26]

whats the difference between a faggot and a refirigerator?

a refrigerator doesnt fart when you pull the meat out