Need some advice from the Ladies please.

[tao1kiku]

Question is, how do I let a girl know I'm cool with her being a TG without offending her is she is actually a GG?

Comes about becuase next month there is a Drag Ball/ at a local venue. Tickets are being sold for this event at a sex shop right in the middle of the gay district here. So, I go drive downtown to the shop at 10:30 this morning (first of many things to do today), walk in and behind the counter is what appears to be a girl in her mid 20's. EXCEPT, she is absolutely gorgeous, dressed quite nicely (without overdoing it), hair done so well she could be going out to a club, makeup tastefully done and not overdone, nice perfume not overdone, beautifully done nails. Very slim body, small breasts and almost a boyish ass, but a high forehead hairline, and yes, a perfect voice. So at 10:30 am on a saturday in the middle of the gay district working at a sex shop is someone who looks like she could walk into a decent club or resturant and fit in quite well. Not that GG's don't work in sex shops, but never seen one this well turned out.

As I'm buying the ticket I ask her if she has any idea if there is a decent turnout at this upcoming event, and she says "it's usually pretty good.". Kinda alludes that she's been to this event before, but GG's can go to a Drag Ball too, right?

And as I'm leaving, I ask her what perfume is she wearing. She answers "Jean Paul Gautier for Women, but I like to wear the one for men too. Something to keep in mind" with a nice smile. But, I've known women who wear men's colognes.

So, next week am thinking of going downtown to drop off a rose in person to her. I'd like to let her know I'm cool if she's a TG but don't want to offend her if she's a GG.

Any ideas?

Thank you~!

[Kabuki]

Just approach her like you would approach anyone else that you're attracted to. Why would you want to figure out if she's a GG or a TG? If you're interested in her, it shouldn't matter.

[SarahG]

That's a pretty dicey situation.

If you tell her you think she's trans, if she's a GG she may get mad for being taken as trans, if she's trans she may get mad for finding she might not have passed to you.

If you try to play both sides and say something like "its too bad you're not trans" then if she's a GG, you just shot yourself in the foot (implying you'd only be interested if she's trans), and if she's trans you may have just shot yourself by implying all you care about is her genitalia.

You'd probably be better off just leaving trans stuff out of the picture, ask her out as you would anyone else and then, if mentioning trans stuff at all- do it way after you know her (like "there was this one girl i dated, who was trans- she liked this one band/movie/whatever" in the middle of a conversation). This assumes you'd be willing to date her still if she is really a GG. Would her being a GG be ok with you?

[tao1kiku]

Her being GG is just fine with me. My concern is more that she might not be quite open to dating if she's TG and thinks that I think she's a GG. Makes sense? Some girls who pass 100% are afraid of repercussions when a straight looking guy "finds out". We've seen that all too often in the media.

[Danielle Foxx]

Do you secretly wish she was a TG or do you not care either way?

Seems like that is the main idea I got from your post. If you don't really care about what's between her legs then treat her like any other girl and do not bring up the TG thing, allow her the space she needs and when she is comfortable sharing it with you she will.

If you don't really care either way and think that she is a great looking chick then your answer is pretty simple. There is no complicated answers, right or wrong.

Just treat her like any other girl you want to impress.

Ask her out with no agendas - she will appreciate you being open minded either way.

[tao1kiku]

Danielle, thank you. Makes perfect sense to me. I have no pref either way if she's TG or GG. Just don't want her feeling uncomfortable during the dating process if she is TG (as in her being worried about whether or not I'm open minded, that was my main concern.). But then again, I think I'm showing being open minded by buying a single ticket to the Drag Ball. Hmm, maybe option to buy her a ticket if she'd like to come along as my date!

But then again, still have to get that first first date now don't I? (Smile)

[Suckalot1]

Get her a bottle of that perfume, that's why she said something to keep in mind.(most iikely)

So get her a bottle of perfume and a rose if you want and ask her to hang.

[Danielle Foxx]

Danielle, thank you. Makes perfect sense to me. I have no pref either way if she's TG or GG. Just don't want her feeling uncomfortable during the dating process if she is TG (as in her being worried about whether or not I'm open minded, that was my main concern.). But then again, I think I'm showing being open minded by buying a single ticket to the Drag Ball. Hmm, maybe option to buy her a ticket if she'd like to come along as my date!

But then again, still have to get that first first date now don't I? (Smile)

Invite her to the Pageant and see if she will come. Ask her to dinner first and then you both go to the pageant. That would be a nice evening. If they have reserved seating it would be a good gesture to grab a couple.

Then at the end of the night if she invites you over don't go in. Tell her you wanna see her again. Fight your urges to sleep with her on the first night. Trans women are very sexual and they will take the bait but will see you as someone they could not trust to date - at least that's my experience.

So... if you just want to bone her then skip the cutesy stuff and just ask to fuck her, but of you are serious about getting to know her then be a gentleman.

Also don't take offense if she doesn't appreciate all your efforts. Trans women also have a hungry taste for self sabotage. Self worth and self respect. Be not only her companion but also someone who will show her that there are still people out there who care.

Get her a bottle of that perfume, that's why she said something to keep in mind.(most iikely)

So get her a bottle of perfume and a rose if you want and ask her to hang.

Don't buy her anything that is materialistic. Dinner and a nice night out are not something she can hold on to with her hands but a good memory of a first date stays in a woman's mind. That is what we care about, well most of us anyway. Others love to be spoiled because they are materialistic.

[Alyssa87]

ask her if she has gotten her SRS yet.

if she doesnt know what that is.
come up with another clever acronym.

[Danielle Foxx]

ask her if she has gotten her SRS yet.

if she doesnt know what that is.
come up with another clever acronym.

Go after her to the bathroom, if she left the toilet seat up then you have your answer. If the toilet seat is still down run your finger on it and see if it's wet.