What do I tell my Girlfriend?

[CaptainGeech]

Well first I must admit that I have ZERO experience regarding this topic so please take whatever I say with a grain of salt. But I do have an opinion based on the information you have provided. With your girlfriend being into hard porn (many women consider those genres beyond kinky and just fucked up) as well as having no reservations about massaging your prostate I get the impression that she might indeed be interested in more adventurous things. I would approach her very similar to how you approached us regarding the question. I would let her know that you found it extremely sexy having her massage your prostate while giving a blow job and then dry humping you til she got off. I would then say that ever since that occurred you have been fantasizing about her doing that and more. Then I would tell her that you have seen and heard things online as well as from friends how inserting dildos and similar objects can bring amazing pleasure to a man. Ultimately with you enjoying the prostate massage you felt you might also like those things. Finally I would say that this is simply a fantasy and it can stay that way without hurting your feelings but that you would love to try some of those things with her. She might turn you down. She might be a bit disgusted. She might be disappointed. She might reluctantly do it to try and please you. Or this might be something she has been fantasizing about herself and didn't have the courage to bring up the subject because most guys feel there ass is an exit only zone. In the end I think its about communication. If you don't feel you can comfortably bring up the subject then I would recommend not doing so.

[SarahG]

She might turn you down. She might be a bit disgusted. She might be disappointed. She might reluctantly do it to try and please you. .

Or she might be merely pretending to be disgusted.

This GG friend of mine (not that kind of a friend) likes anal, I've seen her on film enjoying anal but whenever her guy brings it up she puts on this front of being grossed out by the idea. She'll only admit to liking it in bed or when buzzed, any other time will get a fake "eeew, how could you say that!?" reaction.

[sugdaddie69]

you already got a finger up your ass,be happy,she may just enjoy grinding her clit against your hot ass

[Distance]

Hasn't she her own secrets too? Surely she has. Probe, then tell.

[Helvis2012]

Hasn't she her own secrets too? Surely she has. Probe, then tell.

Yes, yes. Good advice.

[slinky]

(from another forum, another poster)

"I was in a room at the old Paradise club with a little J-Lo looking thing. The conversation drifted to what is the wildest thing you've done sexually. After a bit of prodding, she told me that she had been engaged to great guy who she really loved. But, she always fantasized and fucking him in the ass.

He refused, but slowly, she began to get him to agree to have things out in his ass. A finger, anal beads, fingers and anal beads and so on. Then as they were planning the wedding she gets him to pick out a strap on. The idea was that maybe they'd do a threesome, but she told me she lied, she only intended to use it on him. During the story, which took her about 20 minutes to tell, there was way to much detail, she kept saying how great and understanding he was and how much she loved him.

Eventually, about 2 months before the wedding, he gave in. Her eyes lit up as she said, in what sounded way too much like Rosie Perez, "I fucked the shit outta him."

I asked if he liked it and she said that he absolutely hated it.

I figure, wow, that's some story, but what happened to the engagement? She said, I dumped him about a week later.

Then entirely seriously, she looked at me, "What sorta bitch ass man lets hisself get fucked in the ass?"

[Distance]

I figure, wow, that's some story, but what happened to the engagement? She said, I dumped him about a week later.

Then entirely seriously, she looked at me, "What sorta bitch ass man lets hisself get fucked in the ass?"

I take the original poster won't have to buy an engagement ring probably.

[mrsoze00]

A few nights ago we had really good anal sex (her anus), and she fingered my ass again. She even used two fingers this time. For some reason, afterwards I felt comfortabe enough to bring up the subject of the butt plugs I own and even to show her two of them. Maybe it was all the anal play we were doing that made it easier.

The next day I brought it up over the phone again, and she said as soon as she saw the plugs, she knew they had been used on me, not just on women. Little did she know they had only been used on me. I asked her if it was because she was able to finger my ass right away without me resisting. She said no, she just knew. That made me feel ashamed for some reason, that she just knew immediately that they were used on me too. But then she said, she knew because she thought a guy wouldnt have plugs in his house just to use on girls.

I told her about this bisexual escort I had seen, that also did strapon domination. But I didnt tell her she was an escort (I'm not that brave yet). When she put me on the spot and asked me where I met her, and I was surprised how quickly I was able to lie that I picked her up on the street (for a second there was fear in my stomach of being found out when she said this). I even threw in something about her sort of picking me up too...where did I learn to lie like this? I told her she had introduced me to strapons by showing me her collection. In truth she was really a lesbian escort that did regular hetero sex with men for money only, but slept with women only in her real life, and did domination work at a dungeon called Rapture before it got raided. Incidentally she had a hot strapon video on their paysite.

I made up this thing about her introducing me to strapons, because I couldnt tell her that I had been to see dominatrixes and TS escorts. Then she asked if I had ever taken a strapon( I was scared again when I heard this question) and I said I found it sexy, but I dont think I could take a big one. Another lie. At that very moment I was thinking of the Spinal Tap that mistress in chinatown uses on her special clients - like me. Its like 10 inches long and as thick as my arm. I also told her that the bi-woman had used my plugs on me, but she had in fact done no such thing. In fact she did not even used her strapons on me. I did not even go to see her at the dungeon that I knew she worked at. I had called her from her escort CL ad.

Then entirely seriously, she looked at me, "What sorta bitch ass man lets hisself get fucked in the ass?"

Thats so funny...but its one of my biggest fears at the same time.

I wanted to let my girl know that I was scared that the strapon thing would change the way she thought about me, and i would never be able to fix it. But of course I couldnt tell her that. So when she asked me if I had let the bi-woman use the strapon on me I said I was afraid it would change the way that the bi-woman and I had sex, and that I enjoyed the way we were doing it at the time, where I was dominant (even when I hired her as an escort, I used to do light domination...ass slapping, hair grabbing, biting etc).

The part that was interesting is when I said that my girl agreed that she would be afraid that it would change the dynamic of the relationship outside the bedroom, that her being dominant in bed would affect our everyday interactions outside the bedroom. That told me that I have some more work to do to get her fully comfortable with this.

Maybe if i could get her to see that we would both enjoy it, after all, the base of the dildo would massage her clit in a similar way to how she was using her hand when she was dry humping me. I even tied that in a little to the bi-woman story, saying the bi-girl told me she was stimulated by the dildo base, and my girl said "yeah" like she understood. Hell for all I know she may have tried it. My fear is that may be wishful thinking, and that she could never get her mind around it.

So really I have 2 concerns... first, getting judged and dismissed in some way like slinky's j-lo girl; and second, all the lies I somehow end up telling when i get scared, so as not to gross her out

Any opinions?

-Söze

[callahac]

Jeeze,
So much drama. Just tell her you like it in the ass. I told my wife a while ago and she is cool with it. If you like the girl you might as well be upfront from now on. She doesn't need to find out that you like a dick up your ass 10 years into the relationship, just tell her now and get it over with. If she like you as much as you like her she will find a way to deal with it.

[mrsoze00]

Jeeze,
I told my wife a while ago and she is cool with it. ...If she like you as much as you like her she will find a way to deal with it.

interesting contrast to the j-lo girl expreience

Right now I'm cooling my heels, she has a urinary tract infection that i think i might have caused when i mistakenly fingered her ass and used the same finger in her pussy about an hour after.

After she recovers and we start having sex again we can go from there..I think i'll bring it up the next time she does my prostate or something on my ass.

Anyone whose already told their wife/GF?...Were you already married when you told them?...what was her reaction? Did she show any interest in your ass befoe telling her?

-Söze