"Confucius say..."

[Snoriega27]

If anyone knows any "Confucius say..." jokes, post them here - whether it's original, or you heard/read it elsewhere.

I'll get the ball rolling with one of my all-time favorites:

"Confucius say man with hole in pants pocket feel cocky all day."

Next?

[Jericho]

Confucius say, Man who walk through airport door sideways going to Bangkok.

[fred41]

This is corny .but it's the only one I remember:

Confucius say-"He who farts in church..sits in his own pew."

[JamesHunt]

Confucius say...

Man standing on toilet is high on pot.

[Snoriega27]

Since we all seem to grasp the nature of this thread, I move we omit the "Confucius say..." part of the quotation and merely post the remainder.

Any objections?

None!

Motion carried.

That being said...

"Man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time."

[hard4janira]

man who run in front of car get tired, but man who run behind car get exhausted.

[Snoriega27]

These contributions are great!

Keep 'em comin' guys/gals.

Takin' a wee break to watch Letterman.

[snowballboi]

Man who jack off into cash register come into money.

[Faldur]

Man who go to bed with itchy butt wake up with stinky finger!

[Jack59]

Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.