Academic Discrimination. I'm gonna explode.

[BrendaQG]

I have not spoken or written of this publicly anywhere. This is as good a place as any.



I have been egregiously discriminated against by the University of Illinois at Chicago. For three years I went there as a non-degree seeking graduate student. That is what one does when one's previous grades were not, at that moment good enough to get into graduate school. After a rough start I finished with a B+ GPA. In some subject areas I actually had straight A's.

However when It came time to apply to their PhD. program, or to similar programs at other schools a problem arose. I asked the very same professors I got A's and B's from for letters of recommendation. They would not give them. Well, actually, one did give me letters to where ever, another only gave me one for UIC ,the last one who I got A's from refused to give any letters for anywhere. I ended up getting enough letters (3) to apply to UIC. After doing this, giving me only letters to UIC. They then denied my application, the same people who gave me letters denied my application.

So I went to Lambda legal.... They could not or would not help me.

So I went to the Illinois Department of Human rights... after some initially encouraging signs they told me that all they can do is have me sign a waiver and the department head will highly recommend that the letters be written... but I can't review them myself. You know to see if they were telling people my T, the revelation of which is no body's business but my own. * The person I was working with there actually had the gall to say to me "These people are professionals I have trouble believing that they would discriminate against you based on your sexual preference."

After she said that I was done. They fundamentally did not comprehend what I was dealing with in so many ways. My personal issue or knowing the type of people involved. I'm not talking about shit kickers or teamsters here... I'm talking about the top 2% of brains. They don't call you a faggot, or a sissy, or a fruit to your face. Yet it seems that is all the systems that are supposed to protect us are equipped to handle. That and issues of a transwoman using the restroom. :-/ Fat lotta good that does me, god if that was my biggest worry...

I have student loans to pay now, I'm going to another school that cost $$$$$$$$$$$. So if you see me working don't wonder why. There are just some things our culture is willing to accept people like us doing science is not one of them. I just wanna give up. **


*Yeah some bitches will say that my T is obvious every way. It takes one to know one sista. We always recognize a member of our club. The general population is a different story, they just don't go around thinking "is she or isn't she". Or they miss the more subtle cues.
** I am well aware of people in science who are trans. However with only one exception that I know of, an astronomer from England, they all were scientist, then became trans. Their may be others for whom that order was reversed. But I am not lucky enough to be one of them. cest le vie.

I just had to get that off my chest to someone somewhere.

[Alyssa87]

i am so so sorry.
this almost brought me to tears : (
seriously.

i dont know what to say.
this truly has hurt my heart.

[Alyssa87]

maybe you could try to contact the transpeople in science you mentioned, and have them help you in some way.

[jaycanuck]

I'd seek legal council

[flabbybody]

was the refusal to write the recommendation letters definitely because of your t status or could it have been due to other non related factors, like the fact that you were in a non-degree program? It seems like a very difficult thing to prove. How can people in higher education be so prejudiced and judgemental when they're ultimately resposible for preaching the exact opposite?

[thx1138]

Maybe you're being a Muslim had something to do with it.

[ALYSINCLAIRxxx]

Seriously, they set themselves up for a legal mess. I highly suggest talking to a lawyer. I know there are many, many solid attorneys in Chicago.

Don't give up!

[ed_jaxon]

Sorry to hear about the set back Brenda.

Its cool to be pissed for a little bit but then you have to devise a game plan and get back after it.

I speak from experience. When you get the skinny envelope or go through what you just have it is natural to be real pissed and to look for people and places to (legitimately) place blame. It is important to do that to be able to clear your head.

Then you have to come up with a blueprint for getting you to where you want to be. You found the backdoor into the graduate program for those of us with not so great undergrad grades so mad props for that.

Academia (and you know this) is elitist, prejudiced and heavily protected. It might be your gender, your race or your faith but in the end it will always be something.

Personally, I have been doing my groundwork for my try at a doctorate. Great grades and my innate mf charm ain't gonna cut it. I need allies. So I am talking to people now before I apply to get the lay of the land and where the backdoors are. I am also getting others vested in my success, thanking them profusely for the smallest kindness and being constantly in the face of those who make the decisions. They know me and my backstory. And even with this prep, I am prepared for it to take a couple of tries to get to my goal.

Point being.....feel the blow, take a minute and then get at it. And don't think you won't be just as harsh a defender as the rest once you are in.

There's a reason why its hard to get there. Education is worth it.

[JohnnyWalkerBlackLabel]

Not trying to sound fucked up but have you prepared for what you will do when all of this advice you're getting does nothing to help?

Seriously, I commend you for seeking your doctorate but you KNOW the world we live in and you KNOW how fucked up individuals can be, and legal issues aside you can't force someone to sign a document to back you. You have to know that Brenda.

Have you looked into any of the online doctorate programs that are beginning to be offered by some institutions? Not saying that's an avenue you HAVE to take, but let's be honest you could find a program you want and get your doctorate without any scrutiny.

Last thing, you've accomplished alot, with the degrees you currently have the only things keeping you from having a successful career at this point are work experience and yourself.

[BrendaQG]

Thank you all for the kind words.

I did contact lawyers last year when this first came up. Lambda legal gave me a list of about 20 lawyers who might take such a case. 6 called back. Each one said that they would only take my case once I got a finding of fact in my favor from the Illinois Human Rights Commission....a court set up just for hearing discriminaton cases. Basically they did not want to touch it.

JWBL those online universities don't offer physics as one of their programs. There are experiments that need to be done, that takes access to laboratories. Even as a theoretical physicist one needs to do experiments as part of their education. Ed_jaxon is right about this being a very elitist field too, which would turn it's nose up as such a degree if it existed.

My next play is to go to this other school. Which I got into, degree status, based only on my grades, no letters. To get my MS here and get into a PhD program somewhere that they won't make me take a bunch of classes... like in Europe. But I'm not borrowing to pay for anything any more. I don't want to be another educated life long debt slave. I'd rather die.