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02-22-2009 #11
Have to agree with Shining Star here... the concept of a true TS being someone who will do 'anything' to achieve the desired gender is just not a good standard. One of the measures used against trans folks of all stripes is how few trans folks go on to lead fully transitioned lives.
We need to remember that trans is just one slice of a person. It's a very important slice, but it is just one aspect of their lives. If you have enough other pressures, fully transitioning (or staying transitioned) may not be the best answer.
Right now they are using the limited number of folks who fully transition as an excuse to push therapies that 'correct' folks who would transition rather than recognizing that the majority of folks who have the condition will not transition due to societal, family or economic pressures.
I personally know at least two folks who have pursued their transition just enough to not feel horrid when at home in the shower. They know they could not be fully successful in the real world as a trans person, and fear poverty and being banished from society more than the discomfort of boy clothes to cover their changes.
Dr Phil had a couple of shows on dealing with young folks transitioning... and repeatedly quoted that only 15% of folks who show this condition young go on to live trans lives. My mom looked at me and said 'see, only 15% really have this disease.'
I had to point out that the number wouldn't include the folks who suicide, crossdress (without the sexual component so often derided) and/or live through fantasy lives. It wouldn't include folks who live in areas where there is no help or information available about the condition.
Anyway... just wish we wouldn't continue to disown someone from the family who does not charge down the lane of full surgical transition at any cost. Some of those who don't are no less trans, they just have other things in their life as important at that time.
Most trans folks don't transition when young... because their family or financial situation don't allow it. We don't look at those folks as non-trans because they wait until their finances or family situation allow it. Why do we look at adults with all their pressures and say 'if you were really TS you'd have transitioned by now'. Do they not have financial and family pressures? Can they not plan their life to be who they need to be when they feel it best?
Sigh...
Just one more nice guy finishing last...
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02-22-2009 #12
The vast majority of the 6.7 billion people on the planet are trans... At least to some degree. The sexual being in all of us makes us wonder what it would be like to be the other sex. Obviously some more than others.
My wife has penis envy. She won't admit it but I know she has it. She just loves the fact that she can grab my junk and play with it (Trust me, I don't mind!) Just the way she is facinated by my manhood makes me think she has male tendencies. I on the other had have many female traits and I am insanely jealous of females. Mainly because they can express their femine side and I can't. At least not in public.
So my wife and I are a pretty good match. She's a little butch, I am a little sissie... (No. Not little in the physical sense, I can just act like a woman at times.)
Anyway the fact the Lisa Lawyer started male, then lived as a transgendered, and then reverted back to living as a male does not
make him any less transgendered. It just means he has found he is more comfortable living as a man.
I sometimes wonder if I could live as a woman if I would lose my fascination of becoming a woman. I have a continuing fantasy where I get some horrible disease and the doctors have to remove my penis and testicles to save my life. Then I could transition and I could say to any man, 'Yea, what would you do if you lost your dick!'
Oh god. I'm just rambling on now.
TGirls, TGirls, TGirls. Someday, maybe.
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02-22-2009 #13
Lots of gay men in drag, queens, fetishistic transvestites, crossdressers and others living from one orgasm to the next want to call themselves transsexual.
But real transsexuals are not defined by the hangers-on or the lowest common denominators.
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02-22-2009 #14
Ok. Define Real Transsexual.
Do you mean a man or woman who has SRS to 'become' the other sex? Or how about a man or woman who lives as the other sex but does not have SRS.
Then what about the man who starts hormones but has to live as a man in order to earn a living. So at home she is a woman, and at work he is a man.
There is no Real Transsexual. There are just degrees of how far each transgendered person transtitions in order to feel comfortable with themselves.
Is Allana Star any less transgender than Danille Foxx? How about Krista Coxx? Far be it from me to make these judgement calls.
1 out of 1 members liked this post.TGirls, TGirls, TGirls. Someday, maybe.
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02-22-2009 #15
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02-22-2009 #16
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- Feb 2009
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I know a few who had . Some who transition back sort to speak, do so, beacuse they have had enough being a "Ts" and feel that there is no happiness in it for them and see it as a dead end, they got tired of escorting , and saw that there was nothing else to being a Ts other than what work ow etc... and their asperations , or expectaitions were never met, there for they turn back. Being a Ts is never a easy Journey , and there is much much much more to it than the usual Escorting , surgeries, fashion, clubbing what have you.. Your life is inyour hands what you do how you live is all on you , yo can use certains avenues to achieve what you may.
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02-22-2009 #17
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Originally Posted by Ts CinthyaNY
Deezie187
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02-22-2009 #18Originally Posted by Ts CinthyaNY
This is a picture of me when I was maybe 7-9 years old. I don't recall precisely. This was an exhibit at the Dusabel Musem of African American History, all about what Black kids wanted to be when they grew up.
I knew from at least that young and I know though cannot prove much younger what I wanted to be, what I wished I was.
I'll save you my life's story. Let's just say I got through highschool by dressing on the androgynous side of female, with the tacit support of my family and the outright hostility of the administrators. I was one of two kids they labeled "behaviorally disordered" to graduate from that place for a decade or so. I went to community college as a woman. No stress there since I was still in my familliar surroundings. Then I went to NIU in dekalb. Back in 2000 they would not let a out transwoman live in the female dorms. They also required that you live in the dorms for your first year. So I was stuck in male dorms looking the way I did, better than I do now just on account of physical fitness. I had to travel into the city which was not easy to say the least if I wanted to get my hands on hormones. I tried to get help from their psych department. They were no help. Instead of hormones I was actually prescribed prozac to deal with the depression I felt on account of my situation there. That was about 3/4 of the way through the first year and i said screw it and went back to living as a male. It took time for my body to change enough for people to notice anything. Senior year one female professor noted for the small class we were in "Well it seems Mr. Farmer has finally found his oats. On to quantum mechanics." The other students looked around like what the fuck did she just say.
My grades suffered, I was kicked out for low GPA, but I managed to come back and graduate. I needed to go to graduate school so stayed on for a year taking graduate work trying to get a better transcript for my applications. Then I went to UIC and did the same for a while. Being back in the city, and back where I knew my way around I was able to come back to living as a woman. In total I ended up being 4.5 years of living as a man. Including a year of my body changing off hormones, and a part of a year on hormones before I came back out as transsexual.
Here is how I look now. For all of the trouble I went through to do it I am a transsexual, I am a woman, I am a scientist (physicist to be precise). I took this picture for my physics website in a experimental particle physics course. This is about a year old now, but I look basically the same.
Now are you going to sit up here and tell me that because I did what had to be done, in order to be what I wanted to be. That I am not a true transsexual?
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02-22-2009 #19
- Join Date
- Sep 2006
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- In the hearts of the kind, and in the fears of the wicked.
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Few are chosen, and even fewer make it to the very end, or the
culmination of their dreams.
As many have pointed out many women de-transition for a variety of
reasons.
Then too the journey and destination is different for each woman. There
are many variables: when does she start, what is the foundation that she
starts from, and that can encompass her genetics, her family
relationships, employment ramifications, etc.
She must also take into account where she wants to end up at. Each
woman will have different surgical goals. Some are content to do HRT,
have no body modification and don't desire GRS.
For me, I wanted the total package. I did HRT. I have had surgery from
head to toe, including GRS.
I also wanted to be mainstream, to assimilate. I didn't aspire to be a
transsexual, be it pre or post. I just wanted to be a regular woman.
For me, detransitioning was never an option.
I literally would have preferred to die.
Yes it was rough to accomplish all of my goals, and of course there are
many more things that I strive for in life. But in terms of my gender
identity and transition, that was a core issue, and one that I was very
committed to, and there was not going to be anyway that it was not
going to come to fruition for me.
Finally, this is the Dr. Harry S. Benjamin's Gender Disorientation Scale,
and is useful in categorizing different degrees of gender dysphoria. It
doesn't have to be followed rigidly, as there may be some deviation or
overlap that individuals may see in themselves or others:
Type One: Transvestite (Pseudo)
Gender Feeling: Masculine
Dressing Habits and Social Life: Lives as a man. Could get occasional kick
out of dressing. Normal male life.
Sex Object Choice and Sex Life: Hetero, bi, or homosexual. Dressing
and -- more --exchange may occur in masturbation fantasies mainly.
May enjoy TV literature only.
Kinsey Scale: 0-6
Conversion Operation: Not considered in reality.
Estrogen Medication: Not interested or indicated.
Psychotherapy: Not wanted and unnecessary.
Remarks: Interests in dressing is only sporadic.
Type Two: Transvestism (Fetishistic)
Gender Feeling: Masculine
Dressing Habits and Social Life: Lives as a man. Dressing periodically or
part of the time. Dresses underneath male clothes.
Sex Object Choice and Sex Life: Heterosexual. Rarely bisexual.
Masturbation with fetish. Guilt feelings. Purges and relapses.
Kinsey Scale: 0-2
Conversion Operation: Rejected
Estrogen Medication: Rarely interested. Occasionally useful to reduce
libido. Psychotherapy: May be successful (in a favorable environment.)
Remarks: May imitate double (masculine and feminine) personality with
male and female names.
Type Three: Transvestism (True)
Gender Feeling: Masculine (but with less conviction.)
Dressing Habits and Social Life: Dresses constantly or as often as
possible. May live and be accepted as woman. May dress underneath
male clothes, if no other chance.
Sex Object Choice and Sex Life: Heterosexual, except when dressed.
Dressing gives sexual satisfaction with relief of gender discomfort. May
purge and relapse.
Kinsey Scale: 0-2
Conversion Operation: Actually rejected, but idea can be attractive.
Estrogen Medication: Attractive as an experiment. Can be helpful
emotionally Psychotherapy: If attempted is usually not successful as
to cure.
Remarks: May assume double personality. Trend toward transsexualism.
Type Four: Transsexual (Nonsurgical)
Gender Feeling: Undecided. Wavering between TV and TS.
Dressing Habits and Social Life: Dresses as often as possible with
insufficient relief of his gender discomfort. May live as a man or woman;
sometimes alternating.
Sex Object Choice and Sex Life: Libido often low. Asexual or auto-
erotic. Could be bisexual. Could also be married and have children. Kinsey Scale: 1-4
Conversion Operation: Attractive but not requested or attraction not
admitted.
Estrogen Medication: Needed for comfort and emotional balance.
Psychotherapy: Only as guidance; otherwise refused or unsuccessful.
Remarks: Social life dependent upon circumstances.
Type Five: True Transsexual (moderate intensity)
Gender Feeling: Feminine (trapped in male body)
Dressing Habits and Social Life: Lives and works as woman if possible.
Insufficient relief from dressing. Sex Object Choice and Sex Life:
Libido low. Asexual auto-erotic, or passive homosexual activity. May
have been married and have children.
Kinsey Scale: 4-6
Conversion Operation: Requested and usually indicated.
Estrogen Medication: Needed as substitute for or preliminary to operation.
Psychotherapy: Rejected. Useless as to cure. Permissive psychological guidance.
Remarks: Operation hoped for and worked for. Often attained.
Type Six: True Transsexual (high intensity)
Gender Feeling: Feminine. Total psycho-sexual inversion.
Dressing Habits and Social Life: May live and work as a woman. Dressing
gives insufficient relief. Gender discomfort intense.
Sex Object Choice and Sex Life: Intensely desires relations with normal
male as female if young. May have been married and have children, by using fantasies in intercourse.
Kinsey Scale: 6
Conversion Operation: Urgently requested and usually attained. Indicated.
Estrogen Medication: Required for partial relief.
Psychotherapy: Psychological guidance or psychotherapy for symptomaticrelief only.
Remarks: Despises his male sex organs. Danger of suicide or self-mutilation, if too long frustrated
Source: http://www.genderpsychology.org/tran...njamin_gd.html
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02-22-2009 #20