NICE GUY?

[winslo2]

We are out here. I for one, would love to meet you Yasmin. If you ever would like to travel to Minnesota, you would find a good looking fun loving guy that would have no problems being with you.

[scroller]

I'd have to say there are tons of nice guys on this board. The only reason they stay nice is because they dont get pussy thrown at them all the time.

Hate to say it, but the only thing that makes someone a nice guy is lack of options. People are all pretty much the same, and when someone breaks into a certain level of cockiness their personality changes.

I've known a few nice guys, that end up being complete dickheads later in life.

The reason nice guys don't get a lot of girls......When they do get girls, they are no longer nice guys.

So when it comes down to being a nice guy, I say fuck it.

This is probably mostly true. I really wish someone could have told me at age ~17 that girls are not really "turned on" by nice guys.


Separately: Sunny's picture with Dr. B. filled me with all sorts of happiness.

[slinky]

I'd have to say there are tons of nice guys on this board. The only reason they stay nice is because they dont get pussy thrown at them all the time.

Hate to say it, but the only thing that makes someone a nice guy is lack of options. People are all pretty much the same, and when someone breaks into a certain level of cockiness their personality changes.

I've known a few nice guys, that end up being complete dickheads later in life.

The reason nice guys don't get a lot of girls......When they do get girls, they are no longer nice guys.

So when it comes down to being a nice guy, I say fuck it.

I don't think this is universally true. I'm a "nice guy" (at least I think I am; maybe some of the girls who have met me in real life will give an opinion; don't hold back - let fly!), and I have a decent amount of options, and at an earlier point in my life I had pretty limitless options and it didn't stop me from being a nice guy. But you can be a nice guy and still stick up for yourself and not stand for any bullshit (unless you think guys who won't stand for any bullshit don't fit the "nice guy" defnition).

[PapiBear]

In the words of David DeAngelo, "Attraction is not a choice." It's why you see lots of hot women going out with unemployed jerk losers. Someone like you can use this two different ways:
First, it's really easy to attract nice guys by being attractive to them and by following the 7 rules of attracting amazing guys.

The second part is training your nice guy to attract you without turning him into a jerk.

Both or these things require intent and ingenuity. But once you know the secrets, it's easy as pie.

Remember, no decent guy wakes up thinking, "I don't want to meet the girl of my dreams today." Things that seem outrageous in theory, through familiarity and repetition, become everyday, comonplace and normal. And if someone is really attracted to you, they will quickly compromise less important beliefs, though often by small degrees. The trick is in knowing how to use their own thinking in your favor. Again, it's easy.

In fact, once you understand the basic psychology not only will you be amazed as you discover just how many places in your life you end up using it, you will kick yourself because it is so obvious that you will wonder why you never did it before.

[altarica]

Oh Yasmin, Yasmin,Yasmin.
I already told you where the elusive nice guy you seek is.
He lives in Bournemouth in the UK.
He is an older guy,50,so he has his shit together,is non-judgemental and from what he knows of you,thinks that maybe for once in his life he could make it work with you.
He isn't a rich guy,just a regular guy,working his way through life the best he can.
He would treat you like a princess, looking after all your emotional and physical wants and needs.
Wanna give it a try?
Oh his name you ask.
Altarica.

[Solitary Brother]

FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH, MY TWO CENTS...

I THINK WE ALL HAVE OUR SET OF MORALS, VALUES, AND SUCH. WHICH HAVE TO BE TAKEN INTO CONSIDERATION WHEN ANSWERING THIS QUESTION...

AS FOR MYSELF I AM EXTREMELY HARD ON MYSELF, ON THE WAY I AM VIEWED...SO I JUDGE ANYONE HAVE DATED WITH THE SAME REGARD!

WE ALL HAVE CRITERIA AND STANDARDS TO MEET. NO MATTER WHAT YOUR BACKGROUND IS ,YOU ARE JUDGED. I HAVE ALWAYS HAD REGULAR JOBS IN RETAIL MANAGEMENT AND IN MAKE-UP ARTISTRY BEFORE I EVER STARTED TO BE A PARTY PROMOTER(NOT THAT I AM DOING ANYTHING WRONG BY BEING A PARTY PROMOTER .I AM JUST MORE "OUTED" IN THE PUBLIC EYE) AND DEALT WITH DATING PEOPLE IN THE PAST THAT WERE ASHAMED OF ME FOR BEING A TS. WHEN THEY MET ME KNOWING I WAS A TS.

I AM MORE OPEN ABOUT MY LIFE NOW THAN EVER! BUT EVEN WHEN I WASN'T AS IN THE "PUBLIC EYE" I HAD ISSUES TOO! PEOPLE WILL ALWAYS STEREOTYPE YOU FOR WHO AND WHAT YOU ARE! SOMEONE WILL ALWAYS KNOW YOU ARE A TRANNY. MY HEIGHT, SOMETIMES MY VOICE, SOMETIMES EVEN "SHE TOO PERFECT SHE HAS TO BE A MAN" HAVE BEEN SOME OF MY OWN OBSTACLES IN DATING...LOL. SO A PERSON WILLING TO GET INVOLVED IN THIS RELATIONSHIP WITH ME HAS TO UNDERSTAND THAT...

I TRY MY HARDEST EVERYDAY TO SHOW PEOPLE LOVING CARE AND CONCERN NO MATTER WHAT BACKGROUND OR CURRENT LIFE SITUATIONS THEY HAVE HAD!

WE ALL HAVE BAGGAGE AND FINDING SOMEONE TO SHARE A LIFE WITH IS DIFFICULT. NO MATTER WHAT YOUR SEXUAL PREFERRENCE IS! THE TS POOL IS JUST SMALLER AND HARDER TO FIND MISTER OR MISS RIGHT!

ALL I HAVE TO SAY ABOUT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON IS WHEN YOU STOP LOOKING AND LEAST EXPECT IT ....IT GETS YA! THERE IS NO SCIENCE TO IT....THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS TO ALWAYS BE HONEST WITH EACH OTHER AND ALWAYS TALK ABOUT BOTH OF YOUR NEEDS AND MAKE SURE THEY MATCH!

HOPE IT HELPED SOME OUT...AND SORRY MY "TWO CENTS" TURNED INTO A BUCK FIFTY...LOL!

P.S. I LIKE THAT MY BOYFRIEND IS TALL HE MAKES ME FEEL PETITE!

Im taller than you.

[BlackAdder]

Seriously Yasmin, If you cant find a decent guy with the way you look, and assuming you have a personality that doesnt send people screaming, then I think you must have an unrealistic dating expectation. All the time I hear, "Why cant i find a decent guy".....PFFFF...... Ladies, they are ALL over the place...They just dont look like Brad Pitt or make six figure incomes.

EDIT...oops...She asking the ladies...In which case ill second the guy who said that this is the worst forum to ask that question in, considering.

[Legspreader]

You are a porn star Yasmin, so there must be a nice guy in the porn industry you can date and have a relationship with!lol.

[Justawannabe]

Just wanted to respond to this given it snipped a line from one of mine...

1) if youre able to turn into a jerk youre not nice in the first place
2) declaring all women stupid enough to only be after jerks makes you an ass
3) "get used" why is it that every time you delve deeper into the nice guy topic you end up with a long list of all the things he did for her expecting her to open her legs at some point? what youre doing is expecting a relationship to work on the same basis as prostitution

---

1) If your immune to the effects of your environment, your not human. Everyone gets changed by what happens to them.

2) Women aren't 'stupid' for wanting jerks, but it is often the case. Why, because jerks tend to confident, outgoing folks... successful jerks are even funny as long as your not the butt end of their humor. Usually the jerk part is something you discover after the first few nights out. The women don't keep them, but they do tend to have the outward traits women are looking for.

3) The getting used part has nothing to do with prostitution. It has to do with someone portraying their feeling for you as one thing when they are another. You think you are giving your time and emotion to someone who is giving the same in return, it has nothing to do with sex and money. When you find out they never REALLY felt that way, you feel you paid for a performance... and you can indeed get THAT from a sex provider for something much less expensive than you heart and moments of your life.

My previous comments are best summed up as this...

It's about taking something intimate and making it public, when you do that, you need to put something back into the intimate... something else to make the other person feel special.

Nice guys tend to get abused. Why, because they don't demand the attention... and they aren't hard to get, so folk tend to put less effort in. They also tend to be a bit less exciting, so the grass tends to look greener at the party next door. But a relationship is more about the home you have than the party you visit.

Abused people tend to shy away from them that inflicts the abuse. So a bit harder to find, and specifically harder if you come from the categories that tend to inflict the abuse.

I'm sure I'll be less bitchy soon... but please... try to see through the frustration and read the intent of the posts if you can.

It's about feelings, respect and holding your head up in public. Most guys can do that even with a girl in the adult industry if they have stuff with her they know is all theirs, no matter what smack some ass says at the bar. But your gonna have to prove to him that he honestly has it.

Sean

[YasminLee]

Seriously Yasmin, If you cant find a decent guy with the way you look, and assuming you have a personality that doesnt send people screaming, then I think you must have an unrealistic dating expectation. All the time I hear, "Why cant i find a decent guy".....PFFFF...... Ladies, they are ALL over the place...They just dont look like Brad Pitt or make six figure incomes.

EDIT...oops...She asking the ladies...In which case ill second the guy who said that this is the worst forum to ask that question in, considering.

I'm sorry to disappoint u but i'm actually not that vain. I had dated 4 guys my whole life, 2 which was really serious and type wise they range across the board. The things they all share in common was a great personality and ramen noodle broke. So no, i do not date base on look and or money. I do as ask for chemistry and attraction whether mental or physical.

the last guy...i met him on myspace. didn't think much. i just thought he was cute and i have a major thing for guys with glasses. i was bored one eve and call him up for a date. He picked me up at my hotel, well dress like a scholar and greeted me with a warm smile. we went to a bar in midtown, had a drink and a little snack. I was about to call it a night and suggest going back to my hotel n sleep. As we was leaving the restaurant he asked if I want to join him to the opera tomorrow or the next day. WOW...here's a guy not pushing to get laid and sweetly ask me out again to a really sweet date. well that turn me on and i wen to his place..we had sex 2times that night. again in the morning, again at my hotel. again before we went to "les mes" not the opera. i fell for him when we caught each other crying to some of the musical scores, "on my own". after our date, well we go for it again. only 2 dates and i'm having feelings for him...i thought we had a perfect relationship..i was open to 3somes 4, 5, and one time even 9. gorgeous girls all for him to share with me. 1 year passed and i love him more than ever. actually close my eyes and see him 80yrs in the future, growing old together...he express to me that my working was bothering him..we originally talked about it before we got serious and shooting for a 2 yrs before stop for a regular job and life..well 1 year he quit on me...by then i was looking for work, back in school...waitressing, and eating ramen noodles. giving up the lifestyle i'm used too all for love..i was willing to go to the end of the world for him. did i mention that during our relationship we never have any fights or arguments. It was perfect until that day he broke my heart and left me.