What's the big deal with a tgirl's boy name?

[tsntx]

meow!

[Norma]

Alot of girls I know are barely making ends meet, and they are more worried about keeping up their hormone regimen, buying clothes and food, and trying to live, than attend to basic things like changing their name.
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I was homeless when I got my name changed in Oregon. Outside in (a homeless youth and trans services organization) paid the legal fee and sent an advocate with me to court, and I used a friends address as my residence. So I'm not buying it.

At the same time, I still haven't changed my birth certificate, and thus I can't get a passport....

I think the process feels more intimidating to most trans people than it actually is. I'm always trying to encourage my friends to get it done, and so many of them just act like it's impossible.

I agree with you, about how easy it can be, and how all girls should do it. But not all of them do it. I DO know a lot of girls who did change their name, as well as knowing a lot that haven't. I think Ruby touched on a point that might have to do with it, which is they might be intimidated about how costly/difficult it might be to get the name change, and probably hold off on it for quite some time.

All of you girls, who post here, and have webcams, pay websites, parties, shows and all that, have been blessed and talented enough to know what you want and go through with seeing it to realization. A lot of girls need guidance, and might not even know the resources that are available to them.

The real Trans World goes by the "Land of Opportunity'' mentality, It is a highly competitive world, and just like in the capitalistic world, Some Products become household names, while others are never noticed or no light is ever thrust upon them.

[Bone Dry]

Mod, with all due respect, If you have learned it is a total mood killer, then stop asking! Duh!!

[Hara_Juku Tgirl]

We are not running away from our problems. We are just changing our names to fit our new lives, gender and identity.

Our old names are none of your concern, and save the trust angle. Cause I'm not buying that shit either.

I can expect a guy off the street just being clueless about t-girls and asking about our old names.

But come on you guys that date us, should know somethings are off limits from our past.

I was talking more about a girls "BOY past" not a girls issues/problem with her current self. There is a difference.

What you both missed was that I wasn't talking about the name issue. I was talking about " Man, woman, gay, lesbian or what have you cannot run from their issues/problems - PERIOD unless they deal with it head on. Anyone with half a brain already knows that as a GIVEN.". And it's been well documented that SOME percentage of TS have "buyer's remorse" when they find out that T-ing didn't solve any of their real issues and they were merely sublimating issues.

There are many girls whose entire existence revolves around "being tT, as opposed to being a person in the world and dealing with reality. But instead they live in this alternate "T Universe" where the laws of nature, science, logic and accountability somehow cease to exist.

this thread was about revealing our birth names . You should start a thread on logic and accountability

I live in the real world, not trannyland

Exactly my sentiments. Everyday I go out in public, interact with people in the health care field (nurses, case managers, social workers, doctors, emt etc.) and NONE ever bother ask what my birth name was. I could easily tell them my name was Lisa, Allanah, Jennifer etc. (One emt earlier asked me if I was Norma? lol) and bottomline - It's really nobody's business but mine and mine alone. That's living out in the real world not some fabled "T universe" you were talking about. Maybe some that you know does, but there are a lot of t-women who aren't and enjoy living pretty normal lives!

~Kisses.

HTG

[slinky]

It's sad that whenever any male brings up a valid point, it gets dismissed with various sorts of sidetracking, rather than dealt with seriously. Usually with some sort of "you can't know anything because you're not a transsexual" quip, or, as in this case, merely dismissed - as if there's no thread drift on 87.43% of the threads on this site.

And any girls who go out every nite, go clubbing, do drugs, have no real job except for porn and/or prostitution (or even derive any substantial portions of their incomes from such) aren't leading "normal" lives.GMAFB - all one has to do is look at this site and EVERY DAY see girls who are living in the alternate T universe. You'd probably have problem finding a single page where there wasn't at least one thread on it evidencing this.

And ask anyone who has to deal with these divas on a professional level (like producers), and I can't think of a single one who would tell you that in general T-pornstars ( or GG pornstars either) have any real sense of reality.

Or even ask any of the party promoters about the reliability of booked performers showing up, or the responsibility they take towards their bookings.

[Coroner]

don't laugh at this but I never learn. just when I'm getting friendly with a girl and something might develop I ask her what her boy name was. I can't help myself even though I know it's a total mood killer.

why the f are girls so hung up with this? It's not like I'll ever use it or God forbid repeat it to any other person. I just need to know she trusts me enough to reveal something so intimate about her past.

It´s not just a mood killer but a potency killer, so you won´t have a boner for two weeks.

[SF_Julie]

When somebody asks us our "real" name, is basically a way to delegitimatize our personalities, label us in their minds and disregard our transgender situation (which is that WE WERE BORN WOMEN with body and social challenges).

Contrary to what they would say (you know, the "sure, I respect you"), the intriguing questions come from their deep and subconscious believes that we are not the women we portray to be, that we are not "real", and that all this time it has been a dude orchestrating our transformation behind scenes.

So No, I will not tell anyone. How on earth will I set myself up for failure? Being accepted as a woman cost me everything. Should now step backwards for the sake of a relationship? Trust me, I have seen it. As soon as the name is out... EVERYTHING changes. Mistakes in pronouns, double name, blah blah blah...

[RubyTS]

It's sad that whenever any male brings up a valid point, it gets dismissed with various sorts of sidetracking, rather than dealt with seriously. Usually with some sort of "you can't know anything because you're not a transsexual" quip, or, as in this case, merely dismissed - as if there's no thread drift on 87.43% of the threads on this site.

And any girls who go out every nite, go clubbing, do drugs, have no real job except for porn and/or prostitution (or even derive any substantial portions of their incomes from such) aren't leading "normal" lives.GMAFB - all one has to do is look at this site and EVERY DAY see girls who are living in the alternate T universe. You'd probably have problem finding a single page where there wasn't at least one thread on it evidencing this.

And ask anyone who has to deal with these divas on a professional level (like producers), and I can't think of a single one who would tell you that in general T-pornstars ( or GG pornstars either) have any real sense of reality.

Or even ask any of the party promoters about the reliability of booked performers showing up, or the responsibility they take towards their bookings.

you my deear, need to relax with the generalizations. This post was one after another after another. Im not sure what girls YOU are used to dealing with, but i think u need to change your circle of tranny friends if that is in fact the case. Otherwise u have been reading wayyy too many stories.

[stevewhammy]

I cant understand why you would want to know there boy name, just sounds stupid to me.

[SarahG]

I think Norma has some valid points. Not every girl are afforded proper and needed name and gender changes on their ID's. Read this link:

http://www.tsroadmap.com/reality/nam...ent-alien.html

Let's face it, there are alot of transgenders from other countries who are fucked changing their names legally.

~Kisses.

HTG

Adding on to that, there are some conservative pricks out there who intentionally go out of their way to prevent a trans citizen from getting a name change.

Some of the conservative judges in upstate NY were, FOR YEARS- running around requiring girls be POSTOP first in order to get a name change. If they were married to a GG, these judges demanded (without legal basis for this demand) to get divorced first. The ACLU had to step in, at least a couple of times- to fight it, and one time it was with a FtM who passed so well that the judge was out of his mind in expecting him to go postop first.

A lot of this I blame on judges not always being lawyers, there are a lot of judges who are probably good people- but simply are clueless when it comes to the law. In MOST STATES getting a name changed is really really cut & dry. As long as you're 1) an adult, 2) not a sex offender, 3) not changing your name to defraud someone- you can pick just about any name you want. I could, in theory, tell a judge I want my name to be "Shit For Brains" and- although insane, as long as I am not doing it to hide off of sex offender lists, or to try to sneak my way out of a pile of debt- then that's all the law actually cares about. The law is not there to be my mommy, they're not there to make sure "its a normal name"- and in virtually all cases, the law doesn't have any extra procedures or steps for people who happen to be trans.

As far as the letter of the law is concerned you don't need a letter, don't need a therapist, don't need to be single, don't need to have a formal diagnosis, don't need to be fulltime, don't need to pass, don't need to be on hrt. Yet a lot of judges feel the need to inject themselves in there anyway, either due to ignorance or spite (or both).

My name change experiences weren't ideal, I actually had to MOVE to get my name changed. I couldn't even file where I originally lived, the clerks kept throwing the petition out behind my back after I'd leave (as in the form would go right in the trash and never got onto the legal record). When I did file, in another state- the judge was polite but grilled me on a bunch of things the law doesn't care about (stuff like whether i had kids, whether I am married, whether I am fulltime, how long i had been on hrt, etc etc etc). I have no idea what the judge would have said if I had "given the wrong answers." I can only imagine what would have happened to a girl seeing that judge who had a full family of 4, GG wife, didn't pass, didn't have a diagnosis, or wasn't fulltime yet... but my case was so "nonsensationalist" that it wasn't hard outside of all the irrelevant questions, to get the petition granted. The judge was comfortable seeing me get the name changed, and I think that was a big reason why it went so smoothly.

After I went through that part, I was given a very long lecture that I really didn't need about being fulltime. The judge made this long argument that the name change process exists to avoid confusion in the public record, and that it would be legally wrong for me to add confusion to the picture by alternating what name I use or how I present myself... for me it was a moot point, I've been fulltime for years and that's not going to change in the future- but the judge was, as far as the letter of the law was concerned, injecting stuff that really wasn't in there. No state OR COUNTRY, as far as I know, cares whether a trans citizen is part time after getting their name changed. The implications were that I would be breaking the law or the court order by alternating either, there was no legal basis behind that but I wasn't about to argue with the guy (even if the law had allowed him to place a stipulation like that into the court order, which he didn't -this was just an oral lecture- I'd have agreed with it, not like I'd ever be presenting any other way).

I anticipated the judge would assume "the process is different if the person is trans" and had the letter of the law printed out and with me when I went to the hearing. I didn't end up using it, and it probably would have angered the guy if I had (no one likes being told they're wrong, especially authority figures). I advise anyone out there who wants to change their name, but hasn't yet- to do the same (have the law on hand to show the judge you meet all the requirements, and that there are no other requirements based on whether your trans- but only use it as a tactic of absolute last resort).

I would also say, if you want to try stealth life- file in a state that does not require public notice. In some states in order to change your name as an adult, you have to place an ad in the legal section of the newspapers to say "so in so was __, is now ___" (paraphrasing, not exact). No one in their right mind reads all those legal notices anyway, so its not like people will see them BUT it does risk people finding your old name by googling you. The paper might not be online today, but there is an effort all across the US to digitize newspapers going back decades and put them online for free browsing via text searching. Some states might also require it go in a paper that is popular in the jurisdiction, which would increase the odds of the information getting online.