From my blog

[melissacarter]

The dark ages are now. If ever you want to test that theory live the life of a TS. No matter how passable you are, no matter how stealth you live, sooner or later you face discrimination and ignorance.

Here is a sad statement of our times: I am happier now, more secure within myself emotionally and economically, as an escort and adult entertainer. I spent ten years trying to do the "right thing" and pursued a career in management, only to be tossed to the curb five times. Can you imagine what it feels like to have the rug pulled out from under your life year after year? It's demoralizing. And eventually society, in it's own subliminal manner, whispers to you quietly, "be gone oh freakish one", "get out of plain sight."

And so we become the subculture, the 'girl with a secret', the tenants on society's fringe. I've lived with no health insurance for a year, lived many years like this, unprotected and exposed to calamity. My income this week will be only as good as the men who choose to visit me. I may roll in the money, or eek out a week on grapes.

This is our modern world, our enlightened society...and we continue to feed the archaic with our misfit leaders and their evangelical morals.

[Tika]

So it's tough out there for a tranny, stop trying to make it in the real world and become a whore?

When you give up, "they" win and the rest of us lose.

I used to make close to $100K a year as an automated software testing specialist. Now I make pizzas. Am I whining? No. This is my reality. I got pissed off at the corporate IT world's bullshit and incompetence.

I don't care if someone realizes I'm a transsexual. In fact, I kind of hope they DO realize. Xenophobia is only relevant when someone's a stranger, different, misunderstood. When your coworkers realize you're real, with hopes, dreams, successes and failures just like them, you're not a stranger - and there's no reason to hate you or fear you.

I had one coworker at Tim Hortons, an older woman, chat with me for close to 2 hours one day a few months after I started working with her (we'd both come in to get our paycheques). She said she hadn't realized "it" until someone had mentioned to her that "that's a man, you know".

After we talked about the usual "So what's it's like" stuff, wherein I tried to explain how I'm not, in fact, a man, she looked at me and said "I think I understand" and then said "You know, you have the most feminine teeth". Then she gave me a ride uptown so I could cash my cheque.

I'd rather work for minimum wage my whole fucking life in order to make connections like that with people than EVER give up, shut down and be a whore. Call it a crusade, call it righteousness, whatever you want but I live in the real world and I make a difference just by being a normal person to people.

[Justawannabe]

Melissa is right about how hard it is, and Tika is right about being out in the world and recognized being some of the best way to change things. Don't think she's right about working in the adult world being wrong... though it comes with a lot of complications.

Sean

[melissacarter]

When you give up, "they" win and the rest of us lose.

I'd rather work for minimum wage my whole fucking life in order to make connections like that with people than EVER give up, shut down and be a whore. Call it a crusade, call it righteousness, whatever you want but I live in the real world and I make a difference just by being a normal person to people.

Who said give up? You missed my point, I'm saying it's better being a whore. See you in church.

[Floyd R]

Melissa, if you don't mind me asking, what does your boyfriend think about your line of work?

[melissacarter]

Melissa, if you don't mind me asking, what does your boyfriend think about your line of work?

He's a former client, lol

[Floyd R]

Wow, he is a lucky guy. Continue to do what makes you happy, it's much better than doing what makes you depressed. You look great by the way.

Melissa, if you don't mind me asking, what does your boyfriend think about your line of work?

He's a former client, lol

[SarahG]

So it's tough out there for a tranny, stop trying to make it in the real world and become a whore?

When you give up, "they" win and the rest of us lose.

I used to make close to $100K a year as an automated software testing specialist. Now I make pizzas. Am I whining? No. This is my reality. I got pissed off at the corporate IT world's bullshit and incompetence.

I don't care if someone realizes I'm a transsexual. In fact, I kind of hope they DO realize. Xenophobia is only relevant when someone's a stranger, different, misunderstood. When your coworkers realize you're real, with hopes, dreams, successes and failures just like them, you're not a stranger - and there's no reason to hate you or fear you.

I had one coworker at Tim Hortons, an older woman, chat with me for close to 2 hours one day a few months after I started working with her (we'd both come in to get our paycheques). She said she hadn't realized "it" until someone had mentioned to her that "that's a man, you know".

After we talked about the usual "So what's it's like" stuff, wherein I tried to explain how I'm not, in fact, a man, she looked at me and said "I think I understand" and then said "You know, you have the most feminine teeth". Then she gave me a ride uptown so I could cash my cheque.

I'd rather work for minimum wage my whole fucking life in order to make connections like that with people than EVER give up, shut down and be a whore. Call it a crusade, call it righteousness, whatever you want but I live in the real world and I make a difference just by being a normal person to people.

What says someone can't do both?

I know what it costs to buy health insurance privately, that stuff gets very expensive. Its actually cheaper to go get a part time min wage job on the side just for the benefits. YMMV but I have a few friends, as in healthy people in their 20s who buy health care privately and what they spend on it is a tad more than effectively "buying SRS every year" (think 20 grand annually). Although I suppose a lot of people simply don't care about health care, just as a lot of people don't care about retirement savings until its "too late"

It would be easy to argue that mainstream employment is a raw/bad deal for everyone. Your pensions are pretty much worthless in so many cases, the pay isn't there, there's no accountibility, and large companies tend not to respect even their "normal" underlings.

But I am curious from your crusade view... are you taking issue to sex work in general? It is legal in some places, even in the US (Nevada and Rhode Island).

[davidperchance]

Maybe you weren't cut out to be in management. It's easy to play the victim and say you were kicked to the curb because of others' prejudices rather than your own deficits in talent/motivation/education/etc.

Hell, maybe you even escaped to the world of gender-bending BECAUSE it gave you an 'out' in terms of your career. Now you don't have to face your mental insufficiencies. If someone criticizes you, you can play the 'bigot' card and hop back on the high horse.

Lots of that going around this time of the year. Barack doesn't lack experience. He's not a socialist. He doesn't associate with America-hating terrorists. YOU'RE a racist.

[SarahG]

Maybe you weren't cut out to be in management. It's easy to play the victim and say you were kicked to the curb because of others' prejudices rather than your own deficits in talent/motivation/education/etc.

Hell, maybe you even escaped to the world of gender-bending BECAUSE it gave you an 'out' in terms of your career. Now you don't have to face your mental insufficiencies. If someone criticizes you, you can play the 'bigot' card and hop back on the high horse.

Lots of that going around this time of the year. Barack doesn't lack experience. He's not a socialist. He doesn't associate with America-hating terrorists. YOU'RE a racist.

I tend to agree there are a lot of trans people who blame everything that has ever been wrong & bad in their life on their trans status. I see it all the time for people talking about their dating lives. Dating is hard stuff, there is a lot that can make a relationship not develop totally irrelevant to trans stuff. You could not like the the guy, he could not like you, maybe you find them boring/annoying/etc, maybe there's nothing in common- almost an infinite list of possibilities. That's why so many non-trans people are single at any given moment.

Yet at the same time, there is a lot indicating that trans job discrimination is not only widespread, but it's normal.

When the Bush Admin forced the SSA to run around outting girls in stealth to their employers with gender no-match letters, you saw girls getting fired left & right in mainstream employment, girls who had been at their jobs for anything ranging from days- to years, without any problems until this letter magically appeared out of the blue.

That tells me their trans status had everything to do with it. It also tells me that the republicans themselves agree on that point, hence why they had the SSA out girls in this manner (this wasn't done in conjunction with anything meaningful, it wasn't to "get tough on illegal immigration workers" for instance).