So many gay references

[melissacarter]

I can never understand it. I receive emails everyday that start off with, "I've never been with a man, or ever touched a cock but..." Yea, thanks Jack for reaffirming your're straight. As a complete stranger and someone I'll probably never meet, I really value your complete and total heterosexuality. And thanks for the indirect insult.

Because it is an insult. Basically he's saying, "I don't want to be with a regular guy, I want to be with a guy that looks like a girl, kinda like you..."

Fact is, as soon as I see the gay reference I know he's got a gay side. Denying it means it's there.

Fact is, we TS are NOT men. Nor do we represent some faction or subset of the gay community.

Fact is, there are many of us who resent and refute the association with the GLB coalition. Thus, the GLB"T" community now implies that TG are a subset of gay men, men with tits basically. Not true.

Personally, I want nothing to do with the GLB community (and I wish them all the luck) because, although they have political clout that could help us, ultimately we will suffer by being misrepresented in mainstream society. And thereby misunderstood. Then we will never reach our goals of equality as women.

Fact is, gay or bi is a sexual preference. Gender is identity. They are distinct and separate. And yet often taken to be the same.

Fact is, "top" and "bottom" are gay terms derived from the gay community. I tolerate those words in my escort business but I refuse to use those labels in my personal life. I view myself simply as a woman, and my man is the dude and that is that. As an escort I am TS. If he wants to suck my dick, hey that's cool, he can be a client but he's not gonna be my man.

Portions of this message have been made possible with a contribution from the John T. Macarthur Foundation.

[Anon_E_Miss]

I'd agree entirely. I am part of an LGBT group, reluctantly, but I have raised the exact points you have, and only continue my association so I can be a contact point for other TS people, and direct them to other ts groups and as a place to hang out.

I appreciate the LGBT help, and sure lgb TS people may be interested in the other aspects, but as you put it (perfectly):

Fact is, gay or bi is a sexual preference. Gender is identity. They are distinct and separate. And yet often taken to be the same.

I just don't think there is any other organisation yet around that can offer the resources. The problem is there will never feasibly be enough TS people in an area willing to associate with a group in the way LGBT groups can.

I don't know quite what the solution is in terms of helping people just beginning to explore their gender beyond sticking with them for now, but I agree with everything you said.

[melissacarter]

The problem is there will never feasibly be enough TS people in an area willing to associate with a group in the way LGBT groups can.

So why the fuck is "B" in the GL to begin with? 90% of the world is" B", but only a small percentage admit to it openly.

Do you know how many married guys are out there, labeling themselves straight, making homo jokes at the neighborhood barbeque, soon to be on their knees at the glory hole of an adult bookstore, testifying to the almighty cock? They feel they can't admit their gay side or the life they worked so hard for will come crashing down like a house of cards. And it just might.

"Honey, I like sucking cock...oh no divorce papers!"

[ARMANIXXX]

So,

Do you have a problem with the LGBT fighting for TS's rights?



http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LGBT

[melissacarter]

So,

Do you have a problem with the LGBT fighting for TS's rights?



http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LGBT

Yes. ultimately we will suffer by being misrepresented in mainstream society. And thereby misunderstood. Then we will never reach our goals of equality as women.

[flabbybody]

The most prejudiced people against transgenders are New York gays. These so-called enlightened liberals basically think all tgirls are sex-crazed drama queens who emulate Ru Paul

I'm not saying every gay person is like that, but I've meet a lot who fit the description.
and God help you if you confide to a gay friend that you dig tgirls sexually. I won't make that mistake again. I'd tell every person in my extended family first

[yodajazz]

I can never understand it. I receive emails everyday that start off with, "I've never been with a man, or ever touched a cock but..." Yea, thanks Jack for reaffirming your're straight. As a complete stranger and someone I'll probably never meet, I really value your complete and total heterosexuality. And thanks for the indirect insult.

Because it is an insult. Basically he's saying, "I don't want to be with a regular guy, I want to be with a guy that looks like a girl, kinda like you..."

Fact is, as soon as I see the gay reference I know he's got a gay side. Denying it means it's there.

Fact is, we TS are NOT men. Nor do we represent some faction or subset of the gay community...

Melissa, as for those e-mailing men, one only needs to look at this forum to find women saying that men seeking pre-ops are gay. They also have said many, many times that men only like them because of the penis. Much of the general society would say the same thing. I would define them as a form of bisexuality. But most people think that a bisexuals like masculine men, as well as women. So I think the men that say that, are trying to get across they do not like men, but are attracted to a woman like you. That is a very important distinction that not all trans women seem to understand.

Some trans women have stated here, that if a man is with a pre op he will eventually go for masculine men. This is not the real case with men who are attracted to transwomen, except in a very small percentage of cases, (as evidenced by the usual response here). So I think these men are trying to clear up an important misconception. Men who are attracted to trans women, struggle with this question. But most will recognize their true desires, to mean that they do not like men, but they like women and special women like you.

[Justawannabe]

I find it funny that people who are so afraid of being misrepresented insist on misrepresenting the interests of the people interested in them.

Top and Bottom are often used in the gay community, because only in the gay community was it safe, even mildly, for a man to ever be a bottom or a woman a top. The bondage/domination community also use the terms for a type of play that is not dom/sub but where the roles can still be fluid.

You say that gay/lesbian/bi is a sexual preference but that gender is identity. I can agree in some ways, but I can't agree that it is any more defining for the majority of people, or that it is any more of a choice. It can still be life threatening to be out in many places

Much of the association between the gender and glb community is because many people spend time among that community figuring out if the belong in the gender group, and at least superficially, glb folks have been much more reasonable as a place to explore than the hetro community which, historically, tends to beat us to death.

I am not saying that the gender community doesn't have unique issues to deal with, and doesn't need to do it's own PR, but one of the basic lessons of politics is that you take the friends you can find when you a small minority. Oh, and you don't shit on them the moment it looks like, somewhere down the road, you might not need them anymore.

Much like the girls around here always say anyone who touches a dick is gay... I'm beginning to wonder if all the girls flipping out over it are just sifting their homophobia and fear of not being 'real' women onto the guys.

That or I'm just tired and sick of the hate and conflating sexual activities with sexual identity... remember folks... just because a girl sucks a dildo doesn't mean she's hetro, just because a guy has finger up his but doesn't make him gay... that's based

Anyway... like I said just tired of the hatefest that seems to be so important to this bored.

Sean (at some point I need to put a pic up... so I can show that I put my identity behind my words... course for that I need a pic... hmm...)

[Hara_Juku Tgirl]

Men just say that to reaffirm themselves that they are str8! It's sugar coating, cum on with cherry on top said in a way to entice you with and hopefully get discounted rates and no clock watching! lol CAN YOU BLAME THEM?

~Kisses.

HTG

[dc_guy_75]

Good luck in separating your professional life from your personal life.