My website updated

[ls1290]

Looks good, but my only suggestion is to make thumbs of your pics so the pages do not take a year and a half to load.

[melissacarter]

Lost in addiction, and having the money to finance it, I had become an out of control coke-smoker of the highest order. This seemed to go well with my lifestyle, or so I thought, and by July my life was nothing more than that of a crack whore. I shacked up in Atlantic City, D.C. and New York, taking appointments to fund my drug habit, running out of money and then crashing. I would take downers to knock me out so I didn't have to crash awake. I hated what I was doing. I would very quickly come to my end this way and I knew it.

I love what you wrote, its so dead on point and the story of most of these girls, especially the porn girls. pain killers are the breakfast of most girls in this industry.

You seem very smart with great talent for writing, I know the hooking pays your bills but its fools gold and one day will eat up alive. My hope for you is that you will realize that you are worth much more than a few hundred dollars for sex and one day use your education to get to the next level in life. Most of these girls have little to no education, you have all the tools to be different than the average TS hooker. I wish you love in your life as well as much success. I think what you wrote was fantastic and a must read for any TS. Best of luck to you.

Thank you, Hostile. I was always a writer. It flows freely and unforced. The real tragedy is, in the throes of this madness, I never wrote anything new this year, except for my story. And haven't seriously painted in years. These are much greater costs to me than the 10K I blew on base.

As for my vocation, people continue to say exactly what you have said, that "I'm worth much more than that." But honestly, I feel fine with it. I feel I'm fairly compensated for the experience. While sometimes repulsed, generally I'm pretty okay with the intimacy and have no problem kissing, making out and all those other intimate acts you hear escorts complain of. As long as the client is clean respectful and sober I can work with him. I have a counselor now who told me that 100% of sex workers were sexually abused. That makes sense. And I fall into that.

Perhaps I'm just chronically and permanently numb, but I sincerely have no problem being a sex worker and can honestly say this is the best job of my life. I'm going horseback riding today with my bf, then a long five-mile run and later a session with my counselor. How cool is that? These are MY days, I set 'em up, I live 'em. I will take this deal, along with the self-esteem issues, over my former wage-slave life. I see those commuters in traffic each morning outside my window and think, "they are lost in the minutia." I hated being one of them. For me, that's when the REAL low self-esteem kicked in, when I felt like just another bleep on the screen.

[Bicycology]

ah... music... that explains the slow loading...

by the way - you're gorgeous in a totally natural way [as ironic as that may sound!]

[Bicycology]

I was always a writer. It flows freely and unforced. The real tragedy is, in the throes of this madness, I never wrote anything new this year, except for my story. And haven't seriously painted in years. These are much greater costs to me than the 10K I blew on base

I'm not suggesting that you quit being a sex worker [god forbid! from my personal point of view =) ] but maybe you should write something of your story - for the betterment of all.

I don't think I've read a really well-written story that touches on all the topics your life has so far enveloped.

And i did read the Happy Hooker 30 years or so ago [it was pretty good, as I recall].

Just a thought.

[MonsieurValentine]

X the implants. You look divine as is.

[iloveall]

where is the let's have fun vote

[melissacarter]

X the implants. You look divine as is.

Thank you for your input. Surgery remains on schedule for November 24th. There is an entire thread devoted to this subject, not started by me:

http://www.hungangels.com/board/view...613&highlight=

[melissacarter]

I was always a writer. It flows freely and unforced. The real tragedy is, in the throes of this madness, I never wrote anything new this year, except for my story. And haven't seriously painted in years. These are much greater costs to me than the 10K I blew on base

I'm not suggesting that you quit being a sex worker [god forbid! from my personal point of view =) ] but maybe you should write something of your story - for the betterment of all.

I don't think I've read a really well-written story that touches on all the topics your life has so far enveloped.

And i did read the Happy Hooker 30 years or so ago [it was pretty good, as I recall].

Just a thought.

The Happy Hooker is candy compared to the shit I've lived with.

And yes, I am in the midst of a story, "Plan Z", which I hope to complete before year's end.

[Aragon21]

Where is the Scrollbar? Making it black crops up the picture and the bottom, making it look as if there is none (Lastest News isn't a link with that underline and nothing written under it?...oh wait there it is.)

Just a suggestion but maybe black bar and grey/white scroll area...something to indicate there is more on the page. How else can i know you "quit" smoking yesterday

[dave252]

you are a beauty!!!!!