Results 11 to 20 of 37
-
08-17-2005 #11Professional Poster
- Join Date
- Apr 2005
- Location
- I AM NOT THE PERSON ON MY AVATAR
- Posts
- 1,305
...
-
08-17-2005 #12Veteran Poster
- Join Date
- Jul 2004
- Posts
- 667
I asked my therapist, "Why am I having a hard time making friends, you fucking asshole?"
-
08-17-2005 #13Professional Poster
- Join Date
- Aug 2004
- Location
- Not Cleveland
- Posts
- 995
A teacher is working her way through the alphabet, and asking the kids for words that start with each letter. First she asks for a word that starts with the letter A, and Dirty Ernie is raising his hand eargerly. However she chooses little Samantha who says "Apple". This continues each time she skips over Ernie for fear of what he'll say. Finally she reaches the letter R, she can't think of any bad words that start with R off hand so she chooses Ernie. Ernie answers "Rat, big fuckin' rat with hairy balls and a long fuckin' tail!"
Then there's this family that lives near a dam, and every sunday they go fishing and catch fish in the resavoir near the dam. The type of fish they caught they weren't familiar with so they decide to just call them dam fish. So that evening after having said grace the father turns to the son and says "Son would you pass the dam fish?" the son laughs and says "That's a good one pops, pass the fuckin' potatoes."
-
08-17-2005 #14Still Here 5 Star Poster
- Join Date
- Feb 2002
- Location
- JFK/LHR
- Posts
- 2,829
What's six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women wild?
Money.
-
08-17-2005 #15Silver Poster
- Join Date
- Apr 2004
- Location
- ¯\(°_0)/¯
- Posts
- 4,937
-
08-17-2005 #16Silver Poster
- Join Date
- Apr 2004
- Location
- ¯\(°_0)/¯
- Posts
- 4,937
nah, if you're referring to my 'amazing racist' post i'm not talking about you. it's the name of a clip that's linked to the text. maybe the link isn't showing.
Originally Posted by MegabodyNYC
-
08-17-2005 #17Silver Poster
- Join Date
- Apr 2004
- Location
- ¯\(°_0)/¯
- Posts
- 4,937
link should show now.
-
09-25-2005 #18Junior Poster
- Join Date
- Aug 2005
- Location
- LDN
- Posts
- 326
These are some good fuckin jokes/anecdotes....
Heres one that was used in Desperdao by Quentin Tarantino...
"A man walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender comes over and pours the man a drink. The man says to the bartender, "I bet you $100 I can piss into that glass at the other end of the bar." The bartender thinking there's no way he can make it agrees to the bet. The man stands up, pulls out his momma johnson and stands there aiming and judging the distance. Finally he starts to piss and he's pissing all over the place. He's pissing all over the stools, the bar, the tables and just about everywhere. Everywhere but the muthafucking glass. When he's done the bartender stading there dripping of piss and smiling says "Ok, now you owe me 100 bucks." The man says "Hold on one second, I gotta go across the bar real quick and then I'll come back and give you your $100." So the man goes across the bar and starts talking with someone near a pool table. he comes back to the bartender chuckling to himself and with this huge grin on his face. The bartender looks at him and asks, "Why are you so happy, you just lost $100." The man says to the bartender, "Yeah, but you see I bet the guy across the bar $500 that i could not only could pee all over your bar and you, but I can also make you happy about it.
"Don’t like my women single, I like my chicks in two's
And these days all the girls is down to roll
I hit the strip club and all them bitches find a pole"
-
09-25-2005 #19Junior Poster
- Join Date
- Aug 2005
- Location
- LDN
- Posts
- 326
Another one.
A man walks into a bar and there is a horse with a sign that says make the horse laugh and win $100 bucks. The man walks over to the horse and wispers in his ear. The horse laughs and the guy gets his one hundred bucks.
The next week the same guy walks into the same bar with the same horse but this time the sign says make the horse cry and win $500.. The man leads the horse outside and when they come back in the horse is crying.
He gets his $500.
The bartender ask how he did it. The guy said last week I told the horse I was hung better them him and this week I proved it.
"Don’t like my women single, I like my chicks in two's
And these days all the girls is down to roll
I hit the strip club and all them bitches find a pole"
-
10-17-2005 #20Platinum Poster
- Join Date
- Oct 2005
- Location
- Europe
- Posts
- 5,049
ROTFLMAO Originally Posted by MegabodyNYC
Nice to find someone that shares my warped sense of humour.
Blonde goes into her doctor for the result of her pregancy test. "Well," says the doc, "I have to tell you your test was positive, you're pregnant. Blonde thinks a bit, frowns and says
"Are you sure it's mine?"
#####
Three nuns are chatting and get to gossiping about the bishop.
1st one says, in a shocked whisper, "I was cleaning his room and I found all these shocking, filthy magazines."
"What did you do?" asked the other two.
"I took a pair of scissors and cut out all the pictures and burned them. That way the magazines will be no good and God's will be done."
The second nun says, "That's nothing. I was tidying his vanity cabinet and I found a box full of condoms."
"What did you do?" cried the others.
"Why I took a pin and put it through every single one. That way they won't be any use and God's will be done."
The third nun fainted.
R
Reply With Quote
