i am tired of explaining

[whatsupwithat]

why are we so stuck up with terms
what happen to human being

im tired of explaining too
your a sexual person that is not defined by any one term
kisses
DD

i agree wholeheartedly. but the majority of people...probably 99.9% of them...need something, a word in order to categorize or make sense of something. that's an apple, that's a gay man, that's a trans woman, that's a...wait...what are you?

on a side note...miss you!

[whatsupwithat]

Yeah exactly.

People need terms to tag on to you, to understand who you are.

They are pretty general terms and are wrong.

It's one of the main reasons most men are afraid to reveal their interest in trans women, they get tagged as gay, which is totally wrong.

I have a very close friend of mine, who would probably end our friendship if he realized the girls I am into.

It's pretty fucked up, I can't live the life I want to live with the woman I really want to be with at the risk of being shunned by family, friends and labeled a homosexual or bisexual. I never felt I was that at all.

Sorry if I'm using your thread to vent on. lol.

But I understand exactly what you mean.

and i totally understand what you're saying. it would be easier on people if they could just grasp it and understand. and, unfortunately, that means having an easily identifiable term that defines something.

as for your friend, i lost a few because of who i am. i had to ask myself...were they really my friends, did they really accept me for me? the answer was, of course, no. in the end, they weren't the kind of friends i wanted anyways, you know what i mean?

[whatsupwithat]

whatsupwithat:

If we can't seem to settle those issues here -- Here! --, what makes you think you'll succeed at defining them and settling them anywhere else?

I feel for you, my man.

well...i don't know. but that won't stop me from trying! thank you.

[Oli]

Nice to see you again Eric. I'm sorry you've had to repeat that conversation, but your blessed that your family wants to accept and understand you, and pass that knowledge on to their children.

It says volumes about the quality of the people in your family. And those qualities are what you share with us.

Thanks for posting that.

[StrangeAccentMAn]

Yeah exactly.

People need terms to tag on to you, to understand who you are.

They are pretty general terms and are wrong.

It's one of the main reasons most men are afraid to reveal their interest in trans women, they get tagged as gay, which is totally wrong.

I have a very close friend of mine, who would probably end our friendship if he realized the girls I am into.

It's pretty fucked up, I can't live the life I want to live with the woman I really want to be with at the risk of being shunned by family, friends and labeled a homosexual or bisexual. I never felt I was that at all.

Sorry if I'm using your thread to vent on. lol.

But I understand exactly what you mean.

and i totally understand what you're saying. it would be easier on people if they could just grasp it and understand. and, unfortunately, that means having an easily identifiable term that defines something.

as for your friend, i lost a few because of who i am. i had to ask myself...were they really my friends, did they really accept me for me? the answer was, of course, no. in the end, they weren't the kind of friends i wanted anyways, you know what i mean?

Yeah, I mean you run into a general situation, put aside if she's a trans women or a GG or whatever, In first view, I will look like I am choosing a woman over my friend and we have been through a lot together over the years. For me that's the major obstacle.

Put aside his close minded views on sexuality.

[whatsupwithat]

good topic WUWT

A term a former GF gave me was "trans-attracted" male. At first I didnt get it, but over time it made sense. I know, simply based on the what I like, Im not by definition straight, but i also know for DAMN sure that Im not in anyway into guys passed the level of friendship and comradery.
My brother and close friends have seen my ts girlfriends, and they are confused as hell at what I consider myself. I think its really funny trying to explain it to people outside our small circle. Not much can convince people who arent here already of your position.

yep. and therein lies the rub. all of us here understand each other 9most of the time), but we have to be able to communicate that understanding to the outside populace.

he girls have risked it all, very few men do. That's why when you have a (gorgeous) guy like Eric that is willing to put himself on the line for what he wants, the girls fall all over him.

.

oh really? girls falling over me? hahaha! hon, i wish that were the truth. last time i had a girl fall al over me was...was...ok, now i'm depressed.

but, honestly, even if it were true, it's not about that. it's about me being honest with myself and communicating that self to others in a way they can grasp. the community, all of us, would be better off if we could. i think, as someone mentioned before, it would make it easier for the men to come out and for the trans women to be less suspicious of their motives. it might even bring world peace! :P

Good post, OP. That's the most well-thought-out and patient answer I've seen to date.

thank you!

mmmhm

well, hello!

[whatsupwithat]

Nice to see you again Eric. I'm sorry you've had to repeat that conversation, but your blessed that your family wants to accept and understand you, and pass that knowledge on to their children.

It says volumes about the quality of the people in your family. And those qualities are what you share with us.

Thanks for posting that.

hey!! nice to see you, too!

thank you. i'm very touched by what you wrote. truly. thank you. it means a lot to have support here in the community. maybe there is hope for us yet. maybe?

[whatsupwithat]

Yeah, I mean you run into a general situation, put aside if she's a trans women or a GG or whatever, In first view, I will look like I am choosing a woman over my friend and we have been through a lot together over the years. For me that's the major obstacle.

Put aside his close minded views on sexuality.

i understand and i don't intend to demean your feelings or friendship, but isn't that life? isn't that the age old story? two boys grow up together, are friends through life, one changes or meets someone and falls in love...and they grow apart. it hurts, yes, but it's part of growing up. we change. sometimes we choose to and other times, as in your case, the choice is already made for us. you didn't choose your sexuality. nor did i. so, my only advice to you would be to be true to yourself, because, in the end, you're all you got.

much peace to you.

[vietboy]

i've brought this up before on this board and we didn't get anywhere...but here i am again repeating to you what has become a standard interaction for me with people outside the trans community.

my sister was in the city today and we had lunch. my family has always known of my sexuality and i've always introduced to them any trans women i was dating and serious about. they've also met many of my trans friends and we've all hung out together numerous times. they've always been supportive and i didn't think it was an issue. well, today, i learned that my sister was a little confused about who i am...sexually...and it became an issue.

the topic of my sexuality came up when my sister mentioned that my nieces and nephews has been texting each other back and forth lately about an interview i did where i discussed my sexual preference and my history in the trans community. apparently, they were confused as to my sexuality and when one of them asked their mother, my sister, she didn't know how to answer. she asked me.

SIS: "So, you're gay." (lol, i know, i know, i laughed too)

ME: "No. I experimented with men in the past when i was younger, but it wasn't for me. Never liked it."

SIS: "Then, you're bisexual."

ME: "No."

SIS: "You're not straight."

ME: "No."

(long pause)

SIS: "Then, what are you?"

ME: "There's no name for men like me."

SIS: "Nothing?"

ME: "Well, there are medical terms which are negative. There are terms used by some of the trans women which are negative. Some guys call themselves straight, others call themselves bi. But as for a definitive term...nothing. I've started calling myself transsexual. I think the term transsexual was misappropriated back in the day when they didn't understand too much...not that it has changed all that much out there. There's heterosexual, bisexual, and homosexual which apply to sexuality, right? Trans is a bigger issue, not a sexual one. It's about the sex, who trans people are intrinsically, inside. It's not about sexuality. For me, it's about sexuality. It's my sexuality. So, if i liked women, I'd be heterosexual....men, homosexual...both men and women, bisexual...but transsexual...do you see what I'm saying?"

SIS: "So..."

ME: "Yeah. Exactly."


being open about who i am has led me to have zillion and conversations like this....and not just with family. business people, clergy, friends, acquaintances...the list goes on and on. oh, i could take the buddhist route and say, "it just is", but i think the world at large, society needs something more to hang their hat on. it's a fact that we, as human beings, communicate by words. we understand concepts through them. i'm just tired of explaining. i really am.

DOOOOD, you need to get laid.

Why do you set yourself up to get wound up by someone else's curiosity?

I think you take yourself way too seriously. Get a girlfriend and find a way to burn some of that pent up angst.

[Coroner]

In the past when I became conscious of my attraction to transsexual women (let´s say, at the age of 16), I still considered myself straight. That went on for a couple of years. The reason might have been my fear that people could consider me as a gay man. I grew up in an environment where the term "gay" was used to make fun of people, insult them or to exlude them, which is the most painful action towards a human being.
But with time since I´m more informed and acclimated to the facts of my sexual preferences, I do not burden myself with categorical terms. It´s simply wrong and too bounded to explain. So, considering yourself as a "transsexual" is in fact bounding yourself, E, which you seem to fight! To be honest, this is inconsistent to me. Sexuality is not just the orientation but gender, too. This is were transsexualism finds itself. You´re using this term in the wrong context but I would never insist on convincing you that you´re totally wrong. This brings us again to a point that has been discussed a million times before: everyone should consider himself the way he wants and feels. If you say you´re gay, bi or straight, let it be. I for myself cannot say that I´m straight anymore. I´m just a sexual individual who loves T-girls and GGs and I don´t need to go further into theories. Some people like strawberry ice but not the strawberry in its original form, so do they like strawberry now or not? Makes no sense to discuss about that.
My sister is the only person to know about my desire for transsexual women but she never kept asking me "what I am", probably because I´m still the same Coroner and she still treats me as her "old straight brother".

Cheers and peace man.