i am tired of explaining

[whatsupwithat]

i've brought this up before on this board and we didn't get anywhere...but here i am again repeating to you what has become a standard interaction for me with people outside the trans community.

my sister was in the city today and we had lunch. my family has always known of my sexuality and i've always introduced to them any trans women i was dating and serious about. they've also met many of my trans friends and we've all hung out together numerous times. they've always been supportive and i didn't think it was an issue. well, today, i learned that my sister was a little confused about who i am...sexually...and it became an issue.

the topic of my sexuality came up when my sister mentioned that my nieces and nephews has been texting each other back and forth lately about an interview i did where i discussed my sexual preference and my history in the trans community. apparently, they were confused as to my sexuality and when one of them asked their mother, my sister, she didn't know how to answer. she asked me.

SIS: "So, you're gay." (lol, i know, i know, i laughed too)

ME: "No. I experimented with men in the past when i was younger, but it wasn't for me. Never liked it."

SIS: "Then, you're bisexual."

ME: "No."

SIS: "You're not straight."

ME: "No."

(long pause)

SIS: "Then, what are you?"

ME: "There's no name for men like me."

SIS: "Nothing?"

ME: "Well, there are medical terms which are negative. There are terms used by some of the trans women which are negative. Some guys call themselves straight, others call themselves bi. But as for a definitive term...nothing. I've started calling myself transsexual. I think the term transsexual was misappropriated back in the day when they didn't understand too much...not that it has changed all that much out there. There's heterosexual, bisexual, and homosexual which apply to sexuality, right? Trans is a bigger issue, not a sexual one. It's about the sex, who trans people are intrinsically, inside. It's not about sexuality. For me, it's about sexuality. It's my sexuality. So, if i liked women, I'd be heterosexual....men, homosexual...both men and women, bisexual...but transsexual...do you see what I'm saying?"

SIS: "So..."

ME: "Yeah. Exactly."


being open about who i am has led me to have zillion and conversations like this....and not just with family. business people, clergy, friends, acquaintances...the list goes on and on. oh, i could take the buddhist route and say, "it just is", but i think the world at large, society needs something more to hang their hat on. it's a fact that we, as human beings, communicate by words. we understand concepts through them. i'm just tired of explaining. i really am.

[TrueBeauty TS]

ME: "Well, there are medical terms which are negative. There are terms used by some of the trans women which are negative.

OK, we trannys call you a tranny chaser. I got that. xoxo


But what is the medical term for guys that like trannys? I'm not sure if I know that.


.

[StrangeAccentMAn]

Yeah exactly.

People need terms to tag on to you, to understand who you are.

They are pretty general terms and are wrong.

It's one of the main reasons most men are afraid to reveal their interest in trans women, they get tagged as gay, which is totally wrong.

I have a very close friend of mine, who would probably end our friendship if he realized the girls I am into.

It's pretty fucked up, I can't live the life I want to live with the woman I really want to be with at the risk of being shunned by family, friends and labeled a homosexual or bisexual. I never felt I was that at all.

Sorry if I'm using your thread to vent on. lol.

But I understand exactly what you mean.

[Dina Delicious]

why are we so stuck up with terms
what happen to human being

im tired of explaining too
your a sexual person that is not defined by any one term
kisses
DD

[Realgirls4me]

whatsupwithat:

If we can't seem to settle those issues here -- Here! --, what makes you think you'll succeed at defining them and settling them anywhere else?

I feel for you, my man.

[blckhaze]

good topic WUWT

A term a former GF gave me was "trans-attracted" male. At first I didnt get it, but over time it made sense. I know, simply based on the what I like, Im not by definition straight, but i also know for DAMN sure that Im not in anyway into guys passed the level of friendship and comradery.
My brother and close friends have seen my ts girlfriends, and they are confused as hell at what I consider myself. I think its really funny trying to explain it to people outside our small circle. Not much can convince people who arent here already of your position.

[TrueBeauty TS]

It's pretty fucked up, I can't live the life I want to live with the woman I really want to be with at the risk of being shunned by family, friends and labeled a homosexual or bisexual.

That's why so many TS girls lack respect for so many guys. They are unwilling to give the same commitment for their life as the girls have already done.

The girls have risked it all, very few men do. That's why when you have a (gorgeous) guy like Eric that is willing to put himself on the line for what he wants, the girls fall all over him.

Willing to live your life on your terms is one of the sexiest turn-ons a man can do.


.

[StrangeAccentMAn]

It's pretty fucked up, I can't live the life I want to live with the woman I really want to be with at the risk of being shunned by family, friends and labeled a homosexual or bisexual.

That's why so many TS girls lack respect for so many guys. They are unwilling to give the same commitment for their life as the girls have already done.

The girls have risked it all, very few men do. That's why when you have a (gorgeous) guy like Eric that is willing to put himself on the line for what he wants, the girls fall all over him.

Willing to live your life on your terms is one of the sexiest turn-ons a man can do.


.

I haven't meet the right one yet, I suppose. I'm young I got time to prepare myself for such a commitment.

[scroller]

Good post, OP. That's the most well-thought-out and patient answer I've seen to date.

[Alyssa87]

That's why when you have a (gorgeous) guy like Eric that is willing to put himself on the line for what he wants, the girls fall all over him.

mmmhm