What do you girls look for in a possible hubby??

[tstv_lover]

Yes, lots of interesting comments here.

For the guys who put Danielle down for not wanting guys who visit HA, remember that Danielle is now post-op. If she was looking, it wouldn't be for someone who wants ts with extras. She's a beautiful woman and would be looking for straight guy - makes perfect sense.

Gotta agree with Armani that guys would have a lot of difficulty maintaining a serious relationship with girl who's business is sex. To be truly empathetic, supporting and a partner then it requires openness and understanding. While it's certainly possible to intellectually understand why a girl would wish to maintain income and friends in the sex business it must be impossible to emotionally accept it - unless you only care about the girl's money. Girls can certainly leave the sex business & have relationships but don't expect them to endure a return to escorting.

As for guys, he must be prepared to accept the emotional roller-coaster that sometimes comes with hormone regime changes, must be loving, supportive, faithful and open. He must accept if she decides on SRS and provide her with love and support during the change. He must be prepared to lose friends, colleagues and family members who don't understand his decision. But that isolation is nothing compared to difficulties the girl encounters.

It's a tough relationship to make work and I have enormous admiration for the girls and guys here who have succeeded in maintaining open LTRs.

OK, that's my longest post here. Hopefully some of it resonates!

[sucka4chix]

1) Whether they care to admit it or not, no one can be in the sex business and have it NOT change them. "When you dance with the Devil, the Devil doesn't change, the Devil changes you". It is very difficult to have a relationship with someone who has been in the sex biz, now or in the past.

2) Even for the few guys who are "cool with it", it's almost impossible, because of this Catch-22: If you want to try to get her to stop working, you're a controlling bastard, and if you DON'T try to get her to stop working, you're an uncaring asshole ("How could you care about me if you don't mind if I do this?").

Preach brother preach! Drop the science! I've known many many strippers over the years and they can be friends, but beyond that it can never work! Never. If you are cool with what she does, you really don't have the soul required to share a life with someone, and if you're not cool, she'll never change. The ol' "you can't change a ho into a housewife" syndrome.Ok nothing's impossible but it's highly unlikely. Strippers, pornstars, sex trade workers USUALLY start out far from perfect--- the average girl can't do these jobs. Then the job itself has devastating effects psychologically! I have a friend that relates sex with money, period. That's just how she is!
She's been getting paid for so long.
I recently tried to start a relationship with someone who really struck me as awesome for years. I found out she was stripping and I shoulda stopped right there. But she convinced me that she hates what she does and she's really a shy down to earth person with strong morals, and she's just trying to pay her bills. Talking and chatting, she was so sweet. But when we went out, she was an attention hog trying to do the most outandish crazy shit in public, it was embarassing. Her myspace page literally made me sick, because I actually cared about her.
Do what you gotta do and don't live for anyone else, but any guy who can "get past" you making sex your life isn't going to be a worthhile mate in the long run.

[Leeloo]

I have a question for the girls on here that's been puzzling me...

Most of you include the following two requirements in potential mates:

1. He should not be ashamed of you ("I don't want to be a secret")
2. Guys who are into TSs are creepy ("A man that doesn't read this board or is into transsexuals")

Aren't these two things contradictory and hypocritical? How can you blame him for being sensitive to what his family and friends might think if it even freaks you out?


And my advice for what it's worth (mostly nothing) for any girl who is having trouble finding a nice guy, is to forget the asshole guys hitting on you in the club and go talk to the quiet guy in the corner who's reading a book.

[slinky]

Trish, just so it's clear, this is not an assumption. I've dated a fair share of working girls and a lot all the relationships ended over exactly this.

[BeardedOne]

I'm just catching up on this, so please bear with me...

A man that doesn't read this board or is into transsexuals... Does that clear it? lol

Jeez, Danielle, poke me in the eye with a fork, why don'tcha!

There are those of us who have the fetish who are not so focused as to treat the women we adore as animals. Rare, yes, non-existent, no.

im a cam girl, and i have knowingly let him go because of it.

That's sad, really. Not because of your decision, but because of his narrow-mindedness. I've dated strippers, hookers, porn stars, and never had issue with their =JOB=. If they could seperate their real life from their work life, there was no reason that I couldn't do the same. Granted, sex industry work is a far cry from flippin' burgers or telemarketing, but it is still a means to an income and should be seen as same.

You want him to court you and then upon learning that you have a whang and pelotas, want him to embrace them wholeheartedly without a moment's hesitation?

Well, as is pretty common knowledge at this point, Danielle dropped her whang and pelotas in Thailand not long ago. But there does come a time in a relationship where honesty is the best policy and there's no telling how the other party may react. Some Ts have gone into relationships, complete with enactments of the 'two-backed beast', and their partners were none the wiser (The miracles of modern surgery at work). If a relationship is truly rooted in the emotional, then revelations of the physical should be no more than sidenotes.

Just as the terms "fag","tranny chaser" or "cock hound" dont effect me because they dont apply to me,

Haze knows (As do others) that these terms, for real or for shade, apply to me as refers to T-gurls. I try to be, and somewhat am, respectful of the women here, but it's common knowledge that I have a root interest in that 'little extra' that many of the gurls share. Yet I am not one to piss and moan when the likes of Niki, Danielle, or Victoria (A personal issue that I am going through right now) have their SRS and fulfill their goal of becoming the person they needed to be.

Do I miss the T-clit? You betcha! Am I mad at the gurl for going the full route? No! That's just fucking silly and selfish.

...and if you DON'T try to get her to stop working, you're an uncaring asshole ("How could you care about me if you don't mind if I do this?").

Yah. *Sigh* This has been my experience.

no2 =bullseye

Like I said...

Lastly...

Interesting that there has been no mention of bisexuality/pansexuality or polyamorous relationships. That's where I come from. I'm decidedly bi/pansexual and am comfortable in alternative relationships (Triads, group marriages, etc.). There have been times in my life where I was in plural realtionships (More than one wife/girlfriend/boyfriend) and, so long as the involved parties are in tune to the situation, things get along well.

Though I've long held an interest/fetish in T-gurls, it is only recently (The past three years) that I've been actively involved in friendships, etc. with them (Though I have had passing relationships over the years). I've never hidden them or my interest in them, never treated them as anything other than a friend or lover, and have actually celebrated my friendships with them.

Before you, the gurls, review what it is that you seek in a 'hubby', perhaps you should first review what it is that you have in yourselves.

You are: Conceited, vain, narcissistic, proud, selfish, self-serving, distrustful, jealous, envious, short-tempered, ill-mannered, distrusting, homophobic, and have a shitty self-image.

Now, before you all stab me in the eye with a fork, you are also: Caring, attentive, focused, driven, attractive, sharp-witted, imaginative, passionate, and capable of seeing as definitive goals things that most people can't even dream of.

Someday, that FOG (Fat Old Guy) will sidle up to you at the club and you might, just maybe, see that he could be the one. Lord knows, I've seen enough sadness from the relationships based on hunkiness.

[peggygee]

Ok, lotsa threads here about marrying a TS. Im sure its MANY mens dream, (mine included), but are you girls willing to marry, and, more importantly, what is it you look for/need in a hubby??

I wanna kno specifics. Money? Certain body build? Status? Details please. Help us men out here so we can make a bride outta one of you gals someday

Personality: Smart, good sense of humor, communicative, emotionally
stable and open, substance free.

Physical: Looks aren't a deal breaker, tall, average build to even a little
heavy, any race, over 35.

[trish]

Trish, just so it's clear, this is not an assumption. I've dated a fair share of working girls and a lot all the relationships ended over exactly this.

In so far as it is a generalization based on a finite sample of people from your own experiences it IS an assumption when applied to someone outside that sample. For example, you yourself are a common factor in all the relationship failures of which you cite. How do you know that element isn't essential to your generalization?

[Angel Jones]

I'd love to marry a man one day. I agree with Vanessa - I look for experience, wisdom, strength - a man who has the courage to marry a tgirl - mature, older than me - the list goes on...

[Dragonxxx]

I'd love to marry a man one day. I agree with Vanessa - I look for experience, wisdom, strength - a man who has the courage to marry a tgirl - mature, older than me - the list goes on...

Hi, this is my first post here, I just wanted to let all the t-girls out there know that I have the courage to marry a t-girl, and I wouldn't care if she was in the adult entertainment biz cuz I know there's a difference between love and sex, and I want to get into the adult entertainment industry also.

[bat1]

a big fat wallet would help if you want to really marry one ...