Trans Men

[tgirlzoe]

What are your experiences with FTMs. Girls (or guys) have you ever dated one? Would you?

I have dated a couple, both pre-T. I was pursued by another, we were at a party (we went together) and we were drinking and I was getting stoned and we made out and hung on eachother the rest of the night. He wanted to sleep with me but when we got to my bed, we didn't know what to do and he was too drunk anyway. A short-term boyfriend was suave and cute but he and I never had sex, even though we slept in the same bed a couple times.

With my ex-fiance, we had intercourse and many other things (eg. he liked to top me anally) but even though I had the penis and he had the vagina, he was always top, dominant and agressive in bed and out. But he knew he couldn't necessarily give me what I wanted sexually because he lacked essential equipment (silicone just can't replace flesh).

I think my requirements for a future FTM boyfriend are:
* Have been on T for >2yrs (I've been on E over 3yrs, I don't want someone just starting out)
* Have had top surgery. No more boyfriends with boobies, even if they're smashed under a binder.
* Taller than me (one was only an inch shorter, the others more; it's not like I'm giant, I'm 5'6", I know lots of females and FTMs taller than me)
* Be stealth or at least not wrapped up in trans-activism or lesbian circles. Be well-adjusted and confident as a man.

I mean, if I see a hot guy, I get turned on and I want there to be a delicious cock between his legs. What if there isn't? Could I still be with him, could I marry him monogamously and never have a real dick again? I know wonderful, sweet, attractive guys but the sexual thing could be a dealbreaker or at least a long-term frustration. What do you think?

[tsmandy]

I've dated a couple FTM's over the years, and then had random hookups as well. Equipment doesn't really matter to me, what matters to me, is perviness. If a guy has a large hard cock made of silicone, or a large hard cock made of flesh doesn't make or break a night of fun.

My best friend (besides my partner) is FTM, and many of my other closest friends are also FTM.

I'm just waiting for all the rude comments people are about to make about transmen.......

[SarahG]

I wouldn't have a problem dating an ftm, but I would prolly miss being with someone with a cock. Seeing that I prefer older guys, and taller guys- that would be an unlikely fit for alot of transguys out there.

I've known a few but all were early in their transitions and fairly short (there are short guys so its not like they won't pass).

[Ecstatic]

Hmm, I guess I'm missing this on my grand slam score.... Probably would never happen, but never say never.

[tgirlzoe]

I have several FTM friends, most of the trans people I know IRL are FTM. Hell, I very nearly married one.

But sexual frustration did set in with my ex-fiance. I need the touch of a man but we were poly, so it worked. Maybe things would have been different if he had been on T but I don't know.

As for kinkiness, we did that. It was a way to be sexual that wasn't directly tied to our bodies and associated dysphoria. We had a lovely collection of toys (as best as two 18yo trannies working fast-food could afford) and we enjoyed our friends' huge play parties. Mmmmm... too bad I keep dating vanilla boys now. ;_;

[BeardedOne]

I've known a few FTMs (One attended the birth of my son) and 'dated' a couple. Interesting encounters, but nothing ever really 'clicked', per se. I think I got a lot of crossed-signal vibes from them, as I've been with quite a few lesbians over the years and I think I saw them as an extension of same (At least two of them started out in dyke-mode).

Item of note: I was window-shopping on Eros the other day and found a FTM listed in the DC ads. Progress!

[peggygee]

FTM genital surgery at this point in time, doesn't quite match up
with MTF surgery.

I've kicked it with a few, and it really depends on the people
involved. But if big dicks are your thing, then it might not work
for you.

For me, my order of preference is genetic males, lipstick lesbians,



then maybe a transperson of either gender.

[tgirlzoe]

Yeah, I'd be more down with an LTR with an FTM if there were affordable, realistic genital surgery (and my partner wasn't non-op).

Like I'm sure I could make it work with a trans guy but having been in that situation 3-5 years ago (damn, time flies...), I at least have a taste of the issues.

I was having this conversation with another MTF today and she said that she wouldn't want to be with another trans person because it would always remind her that she's trans, even when she's post-op. I've dated trans people before and I think being further in to the process, it becomes less of a topic of discussion.

Oh, yes, another qualification is that he has to be comfortable with his body. I dated a tgirl who didn't like me touching her penis. That makes for an awkward sex-life.

[peggygee]

I was having this conversation with another MTF today and she said that she wouldn't want to be with another trans person because it would always remind her that she's trans, even when she's post-op. I've dated trans people before and I think being further in to the process, it becomes less of a topic of discussion.

trans:
Latin: ‘across, beyond, crossing, on the other side’

In my opinion transsexual, or transgender mean just that, that you
are crossing over or have crossed over to another gender.

Once you have completed your transition, and if it has been a
successful one, you really stop thinking about transrelated issues
for the most part.

At that stage you deal with issues that the average woman deals
with for the most part.

That is unless you chose to identify as a third sex, or for various
reasons maintain ties to the transcommunity.