Tell your funny sex stories.

[suckseed]

One night, a girl I knew invited me over for dinner. She was a vegan and cooked me something made out of tofu and broccoli. After we ate I started feeling uncomfortable. I went to the bathroom and expelled about a quart of air/methane. It did no good; ten minutes later I had to do it again. I started inventing excuses to go outside, wash my face, anything so i could fart. As luck would have it, she wanted to take me upstairs. I farted in the hall while she went to the bathroom, ran around the upstairs and jumped back into bed hoping my body would cooperate. But even while she was blowing me I was becoming uncomfortable. By the time I started fucking her I was using muscles I didn't know I had trying to keep it in (the fart that is.) I thought I was in the clear until the two minute warning...as i got into third gear I let out three * mighty ** blasts **** in perfect sync to my thrusts.

She didn't acknowledge that anything odd had happened, and we ended up dating for about six weeks. But...yeah. Perhaps my most embarrassing moment in bed.

The name's Bond. James Bond.

http://www.toxicjunction.com/get.asp?i=V3656

[iloveshemales77]

Sounds petty rough. Not as bad as having a severe attack of the farts in a car on the motorway with the girl of your dreams sitting next to you, as has happened to me. Needless to say, I was mortified. She took it like a real trooper tho!

[ShadowMaster]

One word, BEANO!