GGs have the biggest issue with transsexuals

[midpier]

You know it is clearly evident by your posts that you are a sweetheart. I will look you up when your in town next. Thanks for being sweet doll.

[MrsKellyPierce]

Who thinks that T girls should tell guys right away?

Aren't you putting yourself in danger when you don't tell them?

Lets see this scenario, he walks up to me in the bar and says hi and I respond with "Hello my name is Julie, its nice to meet you. Oh BTW I am packing a strong 7 incher, so tell me about yourself"

[Odelay]

Who thinks that T girls should tell guys right away?

Well, I believe you sort of alluded to "your way of doing things." I'm sure lots of guys have lots of different opinions, but in the end, only your opinion really counts, and it's backed up by 13 years of experience. Best-o-luck, Julie.

By the way, your future husband, whomever that may be, will he be known as Mr. Julie?

[mpcc2004]

I don't think it is necessary to tell the guy when you first meet him. You are just getting to know each other. If it were me I would just want to be told before things got romantic. And by romantic I don't mean sex, I mean making out etc. It sounds like that is what most of the women here do.

[trish]

Telling someone right away almost always just gets in the way. But a guy needs to be told soon, but you don't want to "lead him on". It's fucking tricky. I hate it.

On a related note:

GG’s who are feminists often have even deeper issues with us. (Don’t get me wrong, I’m a feminist myself. That’s just a corollary of my belief that the laws of the land should be gender symmetric.) I’ve been told by feminist GG’s that transgender women are dragging the culture backwards. That we over emphasize the importance of secondary sexual characteristics, cosmetics, clothing and feminine mannerisms. They claim we affirm all societal roles expectations they are out to destroy. I’ve been told, “Why can’t you be a woman without taking hormones or changing your body? Why do you have to be a woman to make love to a man?” Some woman just seem unable and unwilling to understand our unique predicament. I don’t think they really believe in gender dysphoria. We’re just a aberration that stands in contradiction to their political ideals and they’d rather we just didn’t exist. I’m not accusing all feminist GG’s of this, but I’ve met a significant proportion.

[tgirlzoe]

When I moved back in with my roommate, I had decided to be more out about my trans stuff and the third-gender thing. But she'd always laugh and tell me I was such a girl because she assumed I was biologically female. A couple times she even said, "You're a girl, you have a 'vajayjay'!" (then I'd laugh at her for being a 19/20yo who says "vajayjay" ^_^). When I would get depressed, she'd comfort me. I'd go through all the things I hated about my body and she'd justify each one of them, telling me I was beautiful. We even had a couple of interesting sensual experiences.

Well, then she found out I was born male and we had a conversation about the whole thing and I was open with her. But now she's always like, "You're such a guy!", "You're not a real girl!", "Sorry but you're not invited, just the girls."

Yesterday, she was showing me her new clothes and said, "I'd make you try on my shoes but I know they won't fit" (she's a 6), "you have such man feet". Then she was going on about how I relate to her boyfriend better than her and that's because we're both men (or it's because she's abrasive and he's laid-back and cool, and I like him). Then she was like, "Why don't you want to be a boy?" and I said, "What? What do you mean? Why don't you want to be a boy?" "Because I'm not a boy." "Exactly."

The whole way she related to me changed since she found out I was TS. Now instead of getting to spend girl time together shopping or watching stupid chick flicks and talk, she never wants to hang out with me and I don't really want to hang out with her because she always has to make disparaging comments.

She prides herself on being up-front and speaking her mind to people but a lot of times she just comes off as a bitch. Her mother-in-law-to-be hates that about her and I told her that I don't think she's evil or cruel or anything, she just can grate on people sometimes.

There's a reason I don't tell people I'm trans, the entire way they relate to you changes and most of the time it gets worse. My mom said over Christmas that she kept trying to pressure me not to be gay/trans or at least not tell anyone, while I was in middle school and high school (she started laying it on me about the gay thing while I was in 8th grade) because it's so hard to go through high school anyway. What she didn't realize, of course, is that I would have been a million times more well-adjusted if she had listened to me and worked with me on it rather than just fighting me about it all the time. Of course, she had to deal with my dad and his inability to accept me being different too.

My mom worries about violence towards me because I'm trans. She said it was especially because the time when I was coming out was soon after Matthew Shephard was all over the news. So she kept trying to keep me in the closet, I always thought it was because she was embarassed of me. Now, 8-9 years later, she says it was because she feared for me (reality is probably both). She said the world is cruel enough to straight people. But all that happened was that I became a danger to myself and kept having to go through therapy to deal with depression and such without addressing the actual issue.

I told her that I'm better off now than before transition because then I was just a fem gay boy (who occasionally passed but not regularly) and much more subject to violence than now. Now I just make sure people don't find out. No, she doesn't like the fact that I'll go out with guys without telling them but I promised her that I was careful. I just don't want to have it well-known in town that I'm trans. We already have a town tranny, she's awesome, pretty, artistic and doesn't seem to mind that everyone knows she's trans, but that's not me. I already had to spend high school as a freak, I didn't want my college experience to be the same.

So yeah, I get tired of the bullshit. I have enough emotional problems about my body and gender without having supposed friends point them out to me constantly. God knows how many of her friends she's told too. She loves to talk about people behind their backs. I'm sure she talks about me too.

I thought I was together enough now to be more open about being trans. I thought I could trust certain people. I can't. (Some) women are still backstabbing bitches.


(sorry for the long rant, had to get a couple things off my chest)

[MrsKellyPierce]

Telling someone right away almost always just gets in the way. But a guy needs to be told soon, but you don't want to "lead him on". It's fucking tricky. I hate it.

On a related note:

GG’s who are feminists often have even deeper issues with us. (Don’t get me wrong, I’m a feminist myself. That’s just a corollary of my belief that the laws of the land should be gender symmetric.) I’ve been told by feminist GG’s that transgender women are dragging the culture backwards. That we over emphasize the importance of secondary sexual characteristics, cosmetics, clothing and feminine mannerisms. They claim we affirm all societal roles expectations they are out to destroy. I’ve been told, “Why can’t you be a woman without taking hormones or changing your body? Why do you have to be a woman to make love to a man?” Some woman just seem unable and unwilling to understand our unique predicament. I don’t think they really believe in gender dysphoria. We’re just a aberration that stands in contradiction to their political ideals and they’d rather we just didn’t exist. I’m not accusing all feminist GG’s of this, but I’ve met a significant proportion.

I have had mixed reviews from lesbians also. Entertaining, many lesbians tell me they hate drag queens, but feel differently about me, cause they don't think I am mocking what a woman is about. I elude the sexuality of a woman on stage, I don't put loads of make up on so it looks scary, and I present and act like a lady all the time. Then I have had other lesbians tell me they think I'm a bitch and gross. So I guess it really just depends on the female.

[ARMANIXXX]

See Julie,

I re-read what you said and, here's where I feel where you might consider a change in philosophy:

Now I don’t run around telling people my “T”. I feel that it is my business and unless I am about to go to bed with someone then I have no obligation to divulge it. People treat you differently when they know right off the bat rather than finding out down the road.




The way you wrote this, and the way if my memory serves me correctly, you prefer to "tell someone", basically only when necessary and/or at the last minute.......basically, put it off for as long as possible.

Hey, again I'm no expert in this, and I don't know when you should tell, but instead of working hard to hide and conceal,that sort of mindset/tendancy I mean, Perhaps you might try hard to bring it forth and expose yourself, as early as possible........philosophically speaking.

That guy, who was exposed to your secret by the bartender, he probably isn't gonna see you anymore, if for no other reason than embarrassment by others.

Had you told him, had you had the chance, say like the day before..........You and him could probably have had a chance.

[crayons]

I swear women feel threatened. They get all catty when you’re more attractive than them or you get more attention, they think “and she isn’t even a real girl”.

It's not threat, more like confusion. GG's always see Transsexuals as men "trying" to be women, not women born as men. The so called issue you sense from GG's is hatred towards men (which- if you read my definition: includes TS's). We have respect for what y'all is trying to do- but it's still; unfortunately according to us, men hitting on one another.

[MrsKellyPierce]

I personally like dating guys that aren't in the "scene" of the transsexual world. Only, because they don't make you being a transsexual an issue at least in the dating area. Guys that know you are a transsexual tend to treat you differently in my experience. I've dated both.