Relationship help...

[tsmandy]

Maybe she's really turned on by the idea of playing with you and another couple, and she's secretly hoping to fulfill this fantasy. It's a perfectly normal fantasy that millions of people have, and its also perfectly normal to not be interested.

So sit down and have a conversation with her. Tell her that the idea makes you feel uncomfortable and explain your reasons why without attacking her. Honesty and respect are always the best policy in situations like these, everything else only creates worlds of trouble.

my two cents, as someone that is often trying to rope my lover into group sex.

[GrimFusion]

Maybe she's really turned on by the idea of playing with you and another couple, and she's secretly hoping to fulfill this fantasy. It's a perfectly normal fantasy that millions of people have, and its also perfectly normal to not be interested.

So sit down and have a conversation with her. Tell her that the idea makes you feel uncomfortable and explain your reasons why without attacking her. Honesty and respect are always the best policy in situations like these, everything else only creates worlds of trouble.

my two cents, as someone that is often trying to rope my lover into group sex.

Well, I had "the talk" with her and after about an hour of verbally stepping all over each other's toes, I think things are worked out. She agrees to keeping her friendships with these dudes "phone-only".

Mandy, I thought about what you said, and that could very well be the case. Our sex life recently has really gone down hill. I don't want to get too far into explaining, but she's been trying to "renew" things for a while, despite that being a bit of an impossibility due to "female complications" (she can't orgasm). I really feel sorry for her, and while I know the only kind of excitement and release she gets is from high-profile sex acts, if she wants to remain with me, she's going to either have to give that up or find something that's a bit more one-on-one and personal.

If I didn't love her so damn much, I'd probably jump at the chance of a threesome or ménage à trois, but I think love is a thing best kept between two people. Guess I'm just boring and old-fashioned. lol.

[tsmandy]

Well, I had "the talk" with her and after about an hour of verbally stepping all over each other's toes, I think things are worked out. She agrees to keeping her friendships with these dudes "phone-only".

Mandy, I thought about what you said, and that could very well be the case. Our sex life recently has really gone down hill. I don't want to get too far into explaining, but she's been trying to "renew" things for a while, despite that being a bit of an impossibility due to "female complications" (she can't orgasm). I really feel sorry for her, and while I know the only kind of excitement and release she gets is from high-profile sex acts, if she wants to remain with me, she's going to either have to give that up or find something that's a bit more one-on-one and personal.

If I didn't love her so damn much, I'd probably jump at the chance of a threesome or ménage à trois, but I think love is a thing best kept between two people. Guess I'm just boring and old-fashioned. lol.

Well, regardless of whether it is boring or old fashioned, it seems like you have a serious problem when it comes to sex. Seems like you have one of two options, you explore ways to make it better or you kiss your relationship goodbye. If being monogamous is more important than having a good sex life, one that is fulfilling for you and her then you might need to step outside of your comfort zone and try something new. I'm not saying you have to go and have a foursome, though I would jump at the chance in a flash if the people seemed fun, I am saying that you might need to take a step back and try to work with her fantasies rather than shut them down. Fantasy and roleplay are a good way to explore this, but you could also just go on a date together to the Ace of hearts (or whatever the fuck that swingers club in Southeast is) and maybe watching other people mess around or playing in front of others would do the trick. Sex is really complicated, and we all have our turnons, strange as they may be, a good relationship seeks to meet both partners needs, and I strongly encourage you to work with her.

My advice, write dan savage.[/b]

[ironx]

Tell her what your view is... If she pulls the card.. I'd say.. time to look for a new family in law.. simple

[CORVETTEDUDE]

Listen, Grim, you need to express that regardless of his intentions, you feel this would potentially have a negative impact on the growth of your relationship, at this point. Suggest the two of you consider visiting them at a later date (avoiding the "Fousome" issue), when things are more 'at ease'. Just try to put it off, for now. Don't get into the "I'm not gonna consider it, and I'm not flexible on the issue" thing right now.

That being said, if she continues to push the issue, you have to ask yourself, how solid the relationship really is. It's not a one way street, each of you must consider the other's feelings.

Good Luck!