Logic Explained

[BottomBoySlave]

Two Arkansas farmers, Jim and Bob, are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking beer. Jim turns to Bob and says, "You know, I'm tired of going through life without an education. Tomorrow I think I'll go to the community college and sign up for some classes." Bob thinks it's a good idea, and the two leave.

The next day, Jim goes down to the college and meets the Dean of Admissions, who signs him up for the four basic classes: Math, English, history, and Logic.

"Logic?" Jim says. "What's that?"

The dean says, "I'll show you. Do you own a weedeater?"

"Yeah."

"Then logically speaking, because you own a weedeater, I think that you would have a yard."

"That's true, I do have a yard."

"I'm not done," the dean says. "Because you have a yard, I think logically that you would have a house."

"Yes, I do have a house"

"And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family."

"I have a family."

"I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife."

"Yes, I do have a wife."

"And because you have a wife, then logic tells me you must be a heterosexual."

"I am a heterosexual. That's amazing, you were able to find out all of that because I have a weedeater."

Excited to take the class now, Jim shakes the Dean's hand and leaves to go meet Bob at the bar. He tells Bob about his classes, how he is signed up for Math, English, History, and Logic.

"Logic?" Bob says, "What's that?"

Jim says, "I'll show you. Do you have a weedeater?"

"No."

"Then you're a queer"

[MacShreach]

Hear the one about the hardest cowboy?

Bruce Willis, Steven Segal and Chuck Norris take a week's break to go to a dude ranch and see who makes the hardest cowboy. On the last night they're out in the prairie round the fire drinking a beer, shooting the breeze when Bruce chirps, "I'm the hardest guy here, cause on the second day I took that steer tried to throw me by the horns and wrestled to the ground, kicked it in the head and that learned it."

Steven Segal says "That's nothing Bruce, third day we were in the canyon and my horse disturbed a nest of rattlers. I bit the head off every one and I didn't even get sick, so I'm the hardest."

Old Chuck he never said a word.

He was too busy stirring the fire with his dick.

[Leverage87]

To steal from SNL:

"Did I ever tell you about the time I went camping with Brasky? His whole family, Bill, his wife, and his daughter Debbie, shes 7 years old, goes about 3'9 and 55 lbs.

Well, here I am in the back of a pickup truck with old Bill, and a live deer! So old Brasky grabs the deer by the antlers' looks it in the eyes, and says 'I'm Bill Brasky! Say it!' and he squeezes the deer in such a way that it makes a sound that comes out like 'Byll Braskee' well, not exactly, but it was pretty damn good for a deer."

By the way, just about every damn Chuck Norris joke was stolen from the Bill Brasky SNL skits.

[BottomBoySlave]

To steal from SNL:

"Did I ever tell you about the time I went camping with Brasky? His whole family, Bill, his wife, and his daughter Debbie, shes 7 years old, goes about 3'9 and 55 lbs.

Well, here I am in the back of a pickup truck with old Bill, and a live deer! So old Brasky grabs the deer by the antlers' looks it in the eyes, and says 'I'm Bill Brasky! Say it!' and he squeezes the deer in such a way that it makes a sound that comes out like 'Byll Braskee' well, not exactly, but it was pretty damn good for a deer."

By the way, just about every damn Chuck Norris joke was stolen from the Bill Brasky SNL skits.

Was there supposed to be a punchline?

[marissaazts]

the first 2 were funny

[Leverage87]

You really have to see the Bill Brasky skits for them to be funny, but they are hilarious, just for the random shit that gets thrown out in between the stories, they were always my favorite SNL skits.