Advice URGENTLY needed: Orally pleasuring a girl...

[LG]

I realise this is a TG board and this is far from a typical topic. It might seem a little out of place discussing this (which most of you will refer to as 'eating pussy'). But I really need the collective advice of HA's guys (and gals, if you have any ideas).

You see, I haven't been in serious relationship for a little while. Before that, sex was about having fun, so I was kind of selfish about it. I tried my hand at oral, but never with any real commitment to pleasure the girl.

But now I have met a girl (a GG) who is everything I could wish for and more and I am determined to make her mine and to make her happy. As such, I'm looking for ideas with regards to what I can try out. I'm also afraid that I'm a little out of practice at not having had sex for a few months (yeah, it's been that long) and might be nervous or overexcited, so I might not get hard enough or might shoot my load too early which will leave me nowhere and will leave her dissatisfied.

And so, I need your advice. I'm planning on using a dental dam, for example, but don't now if it dulls the pleasure. I know that I mustn't go straight for the clitoris but I don't want to take too much time. I know I need to kiss her all over her body but how much is too much?

And I'm willing to listen to any good ideas from anyone especially guys and postops but also from preop girls willing to make a suggestion.

I haven't gone very far at all with this girl, but I feel I have to go for it now. And when the time comes I want it to be magical for her.

I await your ideas

LG

[Silcc69]

Sorry I dont have any answers.

[Odelay]

Hey LG,

First, no matter what advice you get here or from any other source make sure you consider it secondary to anything that she tells you. Listen to her first. It's never failed me in the various loves that I've had.

This is cliche, but it's true: every girl is different. Thus, the need to listen to her.

So, with those caveats out of the way. You have to find that middle ground. Go in too bold and she'll be liable to "yip" in pain. Go in too soft and she won't feel a thing. I find the clitoris to be a sensitive thing but it generally has a positive response to slow steady pressure. You can use your fingers or tongue to press down around the edges and lots of time you'll get a good response. While you're pressing around the clitoris, some girls like a tongue tickle right across the top of it. Some don't. Sometimes tongue action back and forth across the clit does the trick. When I'm on the clit, I have my ears wide open. You'll know when it's going good. If she's dead silent you're probably messing up.

Leading up to clitoris play, I don't think there's ever really too much kissing and foreplay to do all around her thighs, etc. And often instead of charging toward the clit first, I often kiss and pull and lick her labia just to warm her up.

The thing that I've had the most success with is doing plenty of foreplay and vaginal tongueing and kissing, then clitoris play, and then when she's truly getting into it, slip that one finger inside and hit that G-spot. You find that by curling your finger in like a hook. Once you hit the G-spot you can sometimes keep her in orgasm for as long as you and/or she want.

Oh, and when you do hit the G-spot, you'll be flooded with her juices. The wetness won't stop until you stop.

By the way, as for getting or staying hard, just get some viagra or cialis or whatever. Get the big pills (same price) and split them in half. They work great. Orgasms are a little trickier with the EDS drugs but the erection is well worth the tradeoff.

Best of luck, LG. Hope it works out for you. Finding someone you click with before the sex is like 75% of the battle.

[LG]

Thanks for the advice and wishes Odelay. I'll take everything on board.

All further ideas from HA members are welcome.

And another question: do delay sprays work and when should they be applied?

[evilash]

I realise this is a TG board and this is far from a typical topic. It might seem a little out of place discussing this (which most of you will refer to as 'eating pussy'). But I really need the collective advice of HA's guys (and gals, if you have any ideas).

You see, I haven't been in serious relationship for a little while. Before that, sex was about having fun, so I was kind of selfish about it. I tried my hand at oral, but never with any real commitment to pleasure the girl.

But now I have met a girl (a GG) who is everything I could wish for and more and I am determined to make her mine and to make her happy. As such, I'm looking for ideas with regards to what I can try out. I'm also afraid that I'm a little out of practice at not having had sex for a few months (yeah, it's been that long) and might be nervous or overexcited, so I might not get hard enough or might shoot my load too early which will leave me nowhere and will leave her dissatisfied.

And so, I need your advice. I'm planning on using a dental dam, for example, but don't now if it dulls the pleasure. I know that I mustn't go straight for the clitoris but I don't want to take too much time. I know I need to kiss her all over her body but how much is too much?

And I'm willing to listen to any good ideas from anyone especially guys and postops but also from preop girls willing to make a suggestion.

I haven't gone very far at all with this girl, but I feel I have to go for it now. And when the time comes I want it to be magical for her.

I await your ideas

LG

Yo i found out da best way to orally please da ladies is to talk about how much money you have (i always lie an tell em i'm a Hip Hop producer) so i start off wit tellin em dat and they start liken me mo, then i tell them how beautiful they are and that imagonna buy them some jewleries and a new car an shit like dat cause they wanna hear dat talk. Sometimes you jus gotta say " Im a rich ass motherfucker yo!!!" and they orally pleased.

[CORVETTEDUDE]

Let's call Dr. Phil, can someone please call Dr. Phil!?!?

[peggygee]

I anticipate having some additional thoughts, but I thought I would get the
ball rolling with this.

For me, the single most important thing in a relationship is a sense of
intimacy. And before we can be sexually intimate, we must be
emotionally intimate.

In other words before we can be lovers, we must be friends. I must
know that I can trust you with my emotions, as well as my body.

Unlike others, for me sex is not a mere physical act. With the sexual act
I am giving you my most cherished possesion, my heart, and my body.
With me, when I love, I love 110%.

If you have read my postings in the past, on just about any topic, or
issue, you know that I am very thorough, and very passionate. The same
holds true with any relationship that I am in, whether it be with the love
for my family, my significant other, or for the work that I do.

On a related note of intimacy, I believe that it is very important that you
both know each others previous and current STD history. You both need
to be armed with that information, and know what safeuards to take
around that area. It does not suffice to just look at a person, and say "well
they don't look sick", or in the heat of a sexual moment to have that
discussion.

So in essence for me, the answer to your question is once you have won
over my mind and heart, my body will follow. The logistics will come
together, things will flow naturally, there won't be an ackwardness,
because we have discussed the things that turn me on, you will know
what I'd rather not do, and I will know what turns you on.

The key to lovemaking is communication, not just fornication.

Oh, and learn some tantric techniques that's sure to make you both very happy.

[LG]

Many thanks to all of you who've come in with useful suggestions.

I'll agree with you Peggy that intimacy is the most important thing which is why I don't plan to rush into anything but want to spend more time with her just relaxing, talking, having fun and showing her I care for her and can make her happy.

I've come to a point in my life where this is the kind of relationship I need.

I've always kind of feared I was disappointing in bed. I'm about average in size but don't really have great technique, and I think that watching porn in the past may have helped to get me down about this. I've always been a little shy so I'm not extremely experienced, and I never really went for one night stands. But I want to make things right and I want to give her a mindblowing experience when the time comes (and fingers crossed, I think it will). I'm psyching myself up and I know I can do it.

I'm going to look into tantric techniques too, Peggy. And another question: where do you stand on dental dams?

Anyway, thanks to all. I'll check further responses when I'm next online.

Send some good vibes my way

LG

[peggygee]

^ ^ ^

Glad that my input was helpful.

On dental dams, I'm definitely an advocate for safe and or safer sex. And
if you don't know the STD status of your partner or if you are rimming
they can be very practical.

From a tactile perspective a bare tongue on my vagina is very pleasant,
but the feeling of a dam being used on me is also very pleasing. Then too
if the male that I'm with is concerned with the taste of vaginal fluids or
other lubricants, then this can address that concern.

And as I've stated on a number of occasions post ops do lubricate, this
is possible because of the Cowper's gland being left in place after the
GRS. The Cowper's gland is part of the prostate gland, and is responsible
for the pre-elaculate, or pre cum. The amount of vaginal lubrication that
each post op women may prodice may vary.

Thus they may supplement their natural secretions with other lubricants,
to some men the taste or the aesthetics of all those lubricants, or just
the taste of the vagina be it post op or natal may be something the male
does not care for.

And finally:

Dental Dams

What is a dental dam? I Dental dams & STIs I How do I use it? I Where can I get a dental dam? I How can I make a dental dam?


What is a dental dam and why should I use one?
Dental dams are small, thin, square pieces of latex that are used for oral-vaginal or oral-anal sex. They get their name from their use in dental procedures. Dental dams help to reduce the transmission of STIs during oral sex by acting as a barrier to vaginal and anal secretions that contain bacteria and viruses. They come in a variety of sizes and flavors - so you can find a dam that satisfies your tastes.

How effective are they in preventing STIs?
Because dental dams act as a barrier to bodily fluids, they help reduce STI transmission. Many STIs, such as herpes, genital warts and HIV, can be transmitted through oral sex. Like condoms, dental dams must be used correctly and consistently in order to be effective.

How do I use them?
Although it may seem a little awkward to use them at first, dental dams are extremely easy to use. Before using the dam you may want to rinse off any powder that's on the dam and check the dam to make sure there are no holes or perforations. The partner performing oral sex will hold the dam against the vulva or anus of the receiving partner. You can opt to apply a lubricant on the vulva or anus before using the dam. The lubricant can help increase the sensation for the recipient. Just make sure the lubricant is a water-based lube because oil-based lubes and lotions can degrade the latex and decrease the dam's effectiveness.

When you use the dental dam, be sure to ONLY use one side. Don't flip the dam over for another round because you will expose yourself to the very fluids you're trying to avoid! And do not re-use a dam on another body part (e.g. from anus to vulva or vice-versa) because you can transfer germs from one body area to another. Do not re-use a dam for another act of oral sex later on either. Dams are for one-time use only.

Won't using a dental dam diminish the whole experience of oral sex?
Many people believe that using a dam will nullify the enjoyment of oral sex. That's not how it has to be! Granted, the feeling of latex will be different than a tongue, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Using a dental dam with lube can offer your partner a new type of stimulation. Although oral sex is considered less risky than vaginal or anal sex, there is still a risk of transmitting STIs. To be as safe as possible, use a dental dam for every act of oral sex.


Where can I purchase dental dams? What if I don't have a dental dam available?
Flavored dental dams are available for 50 cents from your RPL, in the 1st and 3rd floor bathrooms of Health Services, and in Health Education. If you don’t have a dental dam you can make one out a male or female condom, latex glove, or non-microwavable saran wrap. To make a dental dam out of a condom, simply cut off the tip and cut down one side. To make a dental dam out of a latex glove, cut off the finger and cut down one side. If using saran wrap, it is important that it be non-microwavable because the pores in microwaveable saran wrap are large enough to allow viruses and bacteria to pass through.

[andyuk]

take notice of peggy.
thats very good advice.