Chaser to "trans-ally"

[dc_guy_75]

When I was in my twenties I'd probably consider myself a tranny chaser. I went to Edelweiss, Luckys, and later NowBar, I enjoyed the girls company and had some memorable experiences.

Now that I'm in my early thirties (and will always be attracted to t-girls), I find that I'm interested in issues related to them, whether it be political (gay marriage, anti-discrimination laws etc) or societal; I can't tolerate anti-trans comments or people. It feels like I'm part of their community by default, since I like them.

As "chasers" get older, does anyone else feel they become more of a "trans-ally"?

[TJ347]

Only in their own minds. For most of the girls it seems, if you like them, you're a chaser, while if you profess not to like them, you're either a closet homo or a bigot.

[dc_guy_75]

Only in their own minds. For most of the girls it seems, if you like them, you're a chaser, while if you profess not to like them, you're either a closet homo or a bigot.

Although most girls are disgusted by men who are attracted to them, thats the way they're wired and there's nothing anyone can do about that. Granted, it does make life a little less enjoyable for us and them.

Anyways, not ALL of them are like that. And that shouldn't prevent someone who cares about them to not be aware and fight for issues that pertain to their (our) community.

[peggygee]

Only in their own minds. For most of the girls it seems, if you like them, you're a chaser, while if you profess not to like them, you're either a closet homo or a bigot.

TJ, I am going to have to beg to differ with you. There are many men
who can show by their actions and sometimes their words that they are
our allies.

Believe it or not we can differentiate between those who are 'walking
the walk or just talking the talk'. Indeed there are many on this board
who are on our side.

To the original point:

As "chasers" get older, does anyone else feel they become more of a "trans-ally"?

If a person has an open mind and an open heart they can make the
transformation from fetish seeker to an ally, and that catharsis can be
a beautiful thing to see.

[peggygee]

[quote="dc_guy_75"]

And that shouldn't prevent someone who cares about them to not be aware and fight for issues that pertain to their (our) community.

That's hot.

[TJ347]

Only in their own minds. For most of the girls it seems, if you like them, you're a chaser, while if you profess not to like them, you're either a closet homo or a bigot.

I quote the above because, if you've read what many of the girls here have said in various threads, it is quite true. Now, that doesn't mean that all girls are like that, of course, but going on what I've read here and personal experience, it seems to me that a large percentage are indeed like that. Does that mean that you shouldn't care about the community? Not at all, however now we're moving into a totally different issue.

What I maybe should have said was that a "chaser" doesn't become an ally of the transgendered simply with the passing of time. I won't bother to give examples, for obvious reasons I should think. Perhaps that's not what you meant exactly, but that's certainly how I read it. Maybe you meant that with the passing of time do "chasers" actually come to care about the transgendered community? Well, again I'd say no, given what we can readily observe. I'll move on now, having nothing else to add to this topic.

[BrendaQG]

"dc_guy_75"
"Now that I'm in my early thirties (and will always be attracted to t-girls), I find that I'm interested in issues related to them, whether it be political (gay marriage, anti-discrimination laws etc) or societal; I can't tolerate anti-trans comments or people."

NO! Your statement above says it all. "gay marriage" :

The issue for TS women is to have our change of sex&gender recognized. Once legally female "same sex" marriage is a non issue

proves you dont get it.

[TheOne1]

"dc_guy_75"
"Now that I'm in my early thirties (and will always be attracted to t-girls), I find that I'm interested in issues related to them, whether it be political (gay marriage, anti-discrimination laws etc) or societal; I can't tolerate anti-trans comments or people."

NO! Your statement above says it all. "gay marriage" :

The issue for TS women is to have our change of sex&gender recognized. Once legally female "same sex" marriage is a non issue

proves you dont get it.

not all ts women want a full gender change....

[dc_guy_75]

"
NO! Your statement above says it all. "gay marriage" :

The issue for TS women is to have our change of sex&gender recognized. Once legally female "same sex" marriage is a non issue

proves you dont get it.

What?

Even if a girl has SRS, in many (if not most) states the marriage can be annulled. Many courts view it that biologically, post-ops are still male. This doesn't even cover tgirls who don't have surgery.

From the tone of your post, it almost seems like you're against gay-marriage, which would be ridiculously ironic, all things considered.

[peggygee]

"
NO! Your statement above says it all. "gay marriage" :

The issue for TS women is to have our change of sex&gender recognized. Once legally female "same sex" marriage is a non issue

proves you dont get it.

What?

Even if a girl has SRS, in many (if not most) states the marriage can be annulled. Many courts view it that biologically, post-ops are still male. This doesn't even cover tgirls who don't have surgery.

From the tone of your post, it almost seems like you're against gay-marriage, which would be incomprehensible, all things considered.

You may be alluding to the Littleton case in Texas, where the marriage
was adjudicated invalid. In that case a post op transwoman was
married, her husband died due to medical complications. She then
sued the doctor, whose insurance company counter claimed that since
she was born a male, that the marriage was not legal.

A Texas court upheld that opinion. Thus it is case law in Texas, and is
not binding in other states. While some states do mandate that marriage
can only occur between two different biological genders, for the majority
of states there does not exist those guidelines.

Another problem that may occur is when a state does not allow a woman
to amend her birth records to indicate the new gender, this would also
preclude her from marrying.

But I would go on record as stating that it would be a minority of states
that would make marriage for a post op transwoman problematic, or
grounds to render it invalid.


Transgender People and Marriage: The Importance of Legal Planning

Developed by Shannon Minter, senior staff attorney for the National Center for Lesbian Rights.

Transgender people face unique legal issues with regard to marriage. Although marriage is not yet a legal option for gay or lesbian people in any state, it is already an option -- and a reality -- for many who are transgender. This article summarizes the legal issues surrounding marriage for transgender people and suggests some ways that transgender people can protect their marital relationships.

A very real option

Some people are aware that transgender individuals are often able to enter into a heterosexual marriage after undergoing sex-reassignment. What may be less well-known, however, is that a transgender person may also be married to a person of the same sex. That situation arises, for example, when one of the spouses in a heterosexual marriage comes out as transsexual and transitions within the marriage. If the couple chooses to stay together, as many do, the result is a legal marriage in which both spouses are male or female. Alternatively, in states that do not allow a transgender person to change his or her legal sex, some transgender people have been able to marry a person of the same sex. To all outward appearances and to the couple themselves, the marriage is a same-sex union. In the eyes of the law, however, it is a different-sex marriage because technically speaking, the law continues to view the transgender spouse as a legal member of his or her birth sex even after sex-reassignment. In short, marriage is a very real option for a variety of transgender people in a variety of circumstances.

Two contrasting cases

In practice, however, the legal validity of marriages involving a transgender spouse is not yet firmly established in the great majority of states. In 1999, for example, an appellate court in Texas invalidated a seven-year marriage between Christine Littleton, a transgender woman, and her deceased husband. The case arose when Ms. Littleton brought a wrongful death suit seeking damages for her husband’s death as a result of alleged medical malpractice. Rather than ruling on the merits of Ms. Littleton’s suit, the court held that a person’s legal sex is genetically fixed at birth and that Ms. Littleton should be deemed to be legally male, despite her female anatomy and appearance, and despite the fact that she had lived as a woman for most of her adult life. As a result of that decision, Ms. Littleton was denied all of the rights afforded to a legal spouse -- not only the right to bring a wrongful death suit, but the right to intestate inheritance (or inheritance without a will), to obtain her deceased husband’s Social Security and retirement benefits, and many others as well.

In contrast, in 1997, a trial court in Orange County, Calif., affirmed the validity of a marriage involving a transgender man. The case arose when the wife sought to invalidate the marriage in order to deprive her husband of his parental rights vis-a-vis the couple’s child, who was born through alternative insemination. The trial court rejected the wife’s argument that the transgender husband should be considered legally female and refused to nullify the marriage. The court held that California law recognizes the post-operative sex of a transsexual person for all legal purposes, including marriage. Notably, however, if the court had ruled differently, or if the transgender spouse had not undergone extensive and expensive sex reassignments surgeries prior to the marriage, it is likely that he would have lost any right to maintain a relationship with his child.

Still the need to protect yourself

As these and other similar cases make clear, it is critical that transgender people who are married become aware of their potential legal vulnerability and take steps to protect themselves as much as possible. As an initial matter, transgender people who are married should certainly act accordingly and should not hesitate to exercise their rights as legal spouses, whether that be the right to file married tax returns, the right to apply for spousal benefits or the right to have or adopt children as a married couple. At the same time, however, it is also important to create a safety net in the event that the validity of the marriage is challenged.

Although there are many benefits and protections that arise exclusively through marriage and cannot be duplicated through any other means, there are also some basic protections that can be safeguarded and secured through privately executed documents and agreements. At a minimum, a transgender person who is married should have:

(1) A last will and testament for both spouses;

(2) Financial and medical powers of attorney in which each spouse designates either the other spouse or another trusted person to be his or her legal agent in the event of incapacitation; and

(3) A written personal relationship agreement including a detailed account of each spouse’s rights and responsibilities with regard to finances, property, support, children and any other issues that are important to the couple.

The agreement should also include an acknowledgment that the non-transgender partner is aware that his or her spouse is transgender to avoid any later claims of fraud or deception. Ideally, the couple should draft those documents with assistance from an attorney and supplement them with any other legal planning documents that are appropriate for their specific circumstances.

With those basic documents in place, transgender people who are married can at least ensure that the spouses can inherit each other’s estates and retain control over their own financial and medical decisions, even if the validity of the marriage is challenged. In many cases, the safety net created by extra legal planning will never have to be used. In others, the presence of that extra protection will shelter the transgender person and his or her spouse from devastating emotional trauma and financial loss.
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