Chaser to "trans-ally"

[BrendaQG]

@ Sara G.

As to nonops... we as a community have trouble coming to common opinions as to what constitutes a transsexual, let alone something like "what does being fully transitioned truly mean?" For better or for worse, this board's mentality that "merely getting srs" isn't completely transitioning seems to be a bit... uncommon.

I don't know about that POV being so uncommon. There are and have been people who had SRS but could not honestly be said to be a transwoman. Consider the case of Gregory Hemmingway who had one breast implanted and had SRS. Thus was Post OP. There are plenty of people like him. They have SRS, they show up at stome TS event. Then they want to tell pre op's and non-op's about being a transsexual woman.

[peggygee]

"
NO! Your statement above says it all. "gay marriage" :

The issue for TS women is to have our change of sex&gender recognized. Once legally female "same sex" marriage is a non issue

proves you dont get it.

What?

Even if a girl has SRS, in many (if not most) states the marriage can be annulled. Many courts view it that biologically, post-ops are still male. This doesn't even cover tgirls who don't have surgery.

From the tone of your post, it almost seems like you're against gay-marriage, which would be ridiculously ironic, all things considered.

I think what she is getting at is that the "real" issue here is gender/sex status recognition moreso than universal marriage rights. The argument has always been that we, or rather at the very least fully transitioned postop trans girls, should be treated no differently from GGs in society.

In that sense, universal marriage rights would be an issue not about mental health disorders such as GID, but rather one's orientation alone. Realistically, if we have an "agenda" it is to be treated no differently from GGs to the point where we have the same "issues" as they do in society, or lack thereof in other cases (i.e. I know les postop girls who are still married to GGs from before they transitioned and it is a sensitive subject because of a "wait a minute, we're a les couple who can do this, and the gg les couples we are friends with can't"- being treated the same means taking both the good AND the bad).

How states define the way in which fully transitioned postops are seen as by the system have a whole list of implications beyond marriage law.

As to nonops... we as a community have trouble coming to common opinions as to what constitutes a transsexual, let alone something like "what does being fully transitioned truly mean?" For better or for worse, this board's mentality that "merely getting srs" isn't completely transitioning seems to be a bit... uncommon. Personally, I think that regardless how we define such things and/or how the system uses these terms, it seems a bit illogical for the system to go strictly based on genitalia or sex chromosomes... I shudder at the idea of the system indefinitely throwing all girls into the general male population of prisons because they are either nonop, preop or have the "wrong blood"

But I also, at the same time, shudder at the idea of the system going by a third gender setup in which a third catagory exists for ids, bathrooms, prisons, etc etc etc. If we are to have the states using T in place of M or F on DLs, install T bathrooms in public buildings, and other such measures- it would make it impossible for us to be seen as being identical to GGs in the system's eyes.... or the general public for that matter. Don't kid yourselves by thinking that the system would do this only for preops/nonops and would then allow postops to have all the proper documentation, societal/legal statuses etc.... this would be a HUGE step backward IMO.

Brenda, Sarah, thank you both Sarah for pointing out the distinction vis-a-vis
the gay marriage issue. While that is indeed an important issue for our
allies in the gay community and may have ramifications for us in the
transcommunity, the real issue is gender parity for transwomen.

As a post op woman I am not complacent nor content that I have a
modicum of rights that are comparable to those of the natal females.
For me is is of the utmost urgency that the non / pre op have those
same rights also.

Also as a practical consideration your point about accomadations being
made for a third gender is something that we are seeing come up time
and time again. What is the equitable solution for the gender variant on
matters of identification, restrooms, etc. Admittedly there are no easy
answers, but we as a society can not adopt a head in the sand approach
and hope that the problem will go away.

The genie is out of the bottle and this issue must be dealt with
pragmatically and compassionately.

[whatsupwithat]

I thinks its awesome you posted this. Each of us is a part of the "community" in one way or another. But the difference to me between a chaser and someone who is an ally is whether they take or contribute. Whether contributing on a large scale or on a small scale like being there for a single trans friend, if each of us men stepped up in some way the community would benefit. And, in the end, society would benefit. No one said it is or will be easy, but there are many trans people who have had the courage to clear a path, now its our turn to keep it from growing over, to widen it, so that others can find their way. I've said it before, we're all in this together. So, the question is, are you going to continue to take from or are you going to contribute to the community?

[Somedude21]

Great topic you've started here, man.

I admit that in my earlier days when I realized I was attracted to transsexuals (that would be in my late teens) it was just about the sex and nothing more. Yet, after I came here and actually talked to some of the girls and matured in my own right more, I found myself more sympathetic to their cause. So much, in fact, that I want to be a part of it. I suppose that you could say that I'm already a part of it now by being here and a part of the "community", but I want to do more that just that.

What I plan to do once I get out of law school is to be a Public Defender for awhile. Once I've gotten the experience that I need, I plan to become a transsexual advocate lawyer in the state of Illinois (or maybe somewhere else, if I'm needed) and help these women be recognized in their own right. So yeah. I suppose that you could say that as you stay in the "community" more, you become more sympathetic to them and become less of a "chaser" and more of an "ally".

[hwbs]

having many friendships and girlfriends over the years, it would be hard for me not to care about the ongoing situations and issues in a transgendered society...i just have an honest interest of the comings and goings in the community ...not pretending so a girl would want to date me or anything like that..doing that is very very low in my opinion...if i was just in it for the sex i would have no problem stating so.

[peggygee]

I thinks its awesome you posted this. Each of us is a part of the "community" in one way or another. But the difference to me between a chaser and someone who is an ally is whether they take or contribute. Whether contributing on a large scale or on a small scale like being there for a single trans friend, if each of us men stepped up in some way the community would benefit. And, in the end, society would benefit. No one said it is or will be easy, but there are many trans people who have had the courage to clear a path, now its our turn to keep it from growing over, to widen it, so that others can find their way. I've said it before, we're all in this together. So, the question is, are you going to continue to take from or are you going to contribute to the community?

I never for a second doubted that we had many, many allies of the
opposite gender. And for all the talk of trannny chaser and the like, we
do know who's down with us. You don't survive in the life without being
able to read people.

No, not that type of read.

But seriously, whether you do it on small scale, large scale, micro or
macro, locally or internationally, please do something.

[peggygee]

Thought this was worthy of a

[flabbybody]

why do I have to feel guilty about wanting to fuck 80% of the tgirls I know and meet? My sex urge doesn't make me any less aware of the issues of job discrimination, family allienation and transitioning. Would I be helping the cause of transgenderism if I stopped going to the parties and deleted all my escort phone numbers?

I like what dc guy is saying. Chasing tgirl ass and caring about this community are not mutually exclusive. And I think we all know the small number of girls on this board who have disdain for all us guys, and it's really sad. cause deep down, it's themselves who they really hate.

[eggbert]

[quote="flabbybody"]why do I have to feel guilty about wanting to fuck 80% of the tgirls I know and meet? My sex urge doesn't make me any less aware of the issues of job discrimination, family allienation and transitioning.

Great quote. I for one feel the same way.

[tollroad]

When I was in my twenties I'd probably consider myself a tranny chaser. I went to Edelweiss, Luckys, and later NowBar, I enjoyed the girls company and had some memorable experiences.

Now that I'm in my early thirties (and will always be attracted to t-girls), I find that I'm interested in issues related to them, whether it be political (gay marriage, anti-discrimination laws etc) or societal; I can't tolerate anti-trans comments or people. It feels like I'm part of their community by default, since I like them.

As "chasers" get older, does anyone else feel they become more of a "trans-ally"?

Way to broadcast an obvious come-on line!