Nice Guys Will ALWAYS fail..............................

[JohnnyWalkerBlackLabel]

This guy named David D'Angelo wrote a book and I found excerpts of it on the net and decided to make a post about the main topic, because it's true.

Nice Guys will always fail with women. It doesn't matter if it's a genetic broad or a trans gendered dame, they'll always fail.

I'm going to post some things he wrote and I'm hoping the men & women reading can help me dissect it so we can do something rarely ever done: agree on HA on a topic.

Here's a list D'Angelo wrote about women not making sense

• 1) Women make decisions very, very quickly about whether a man is going to be "just a friend" or if he has romantic potential, and once her decision is made, it's probably going to stay made.
  
  2) These decisions are made "unconsciously", meaning that women make all of them quickly and at a "gut level".
  
  3) If you know how, you make her feel attraction feelings rather than "friend" feelings.
  
  4) The way to do it is to stop acting "nice" and start acting, well... something else... and I don't mean "not nice".

#1: True. I give a woman a New York minute (and thats more than needed) to decide whether or not she's going to even be bothered giving the guy (or girl) the time of day.
#2: True: I almost said false but knowing how we men think about women unconsciously I had to agree.
#3: Makes no fucking sense to me. If a dude knew how to make a broad feel attracted to him there would be no need for D'Angelo's book, let alone this thread.
#4: TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! As much as I hate to say it, it's just a well known fact.

But please: copy & paste that list and give me your insight.

He went on to add this:

As much as many women would hate to admit it, there's something very attractive about a man who is just a little more confident than he should be. And if you combine this with the right amount of humor, you have a magic combination that will charm almost any woman.

Here are a few ways to use this idea:

• 1) When you first meet a woman, tease her about something. It doesn't matter what it is, as long as you do it early on.
  
  For instance, you might say: "So what's with the big purse? Are you carrying a gun in there?" or maybe "Those are some pretty tall shoes, what are you like 4' tall without them?" If you tease a woman, it shows that you're not intimidated by her, and that you have a fun sense of humor.
  
  Key: Make sure you say something FUNNY. If you don't know how to be funny, get a book on it. The test: If she's not laughing, then it wasn't funny!
  
  2) Look around at other things and seem kind of pre-occupied when you first start talking to her. Make your funny remarks with a carefree, detached tone. You want to sound like you're talking to your best friend.
  
  Attractive women are approached all the time. It's not attractive to a woman when you look like you've just met Madonna. This "just a little too confident" attitude is very attractive to women... especially when it's combined with humor.
  
  3) Don't answer her questions directly. Women love to ask questions like: "What do you do?" and "Where do you live?" and "Tell me about your family". Answer with funny answers, and don't give her what she wants.

Most guys say "Oh, I'm an engineer" or "I'm a stock broker". BORING, BORING. If she asks what you do, say "Oh, funny you should ask. I'm a Calvin Klein Underwear Model... What do you do?..." (This is especially funny if it's OBVIOUS that you are NOT a model.) Do you get it? Keep it up and keep her laughing.

It's important to remember that I'm not telling you to be mean, or to be a jerk to women. I'm telling you to start being confident, funny, and mysterious.

Ok please feel free to respond in a reply. I'd love to hear your take on this.

Here's mine (and keep in mind I'm one of the most sarcastic men on the planet)
#1. I'm not teasing a woman.......................period. I tease Allanah but that's ONLY BECAUSE she teases me 1st. We have that understanding and know each other. When we met I didn't look at her overly expensive shoes and say "how many cows died to cover that foot, bitch?!?" She would have cursed me out and walked away. But now???? Hell I'll use that on her bday, LMAO. My point is that shit might work if you're David Beckham, or Brad Pitt, hell even Denzel, but Joe Schmoe????? Don't even fucking try it!!!!!!!!!!!!

#2. The 1st paragraph is DEAD ON ACCURATE. I refuse to ever stare at a chick longer than 5 seconds. For one I'll find a flaw, it's just a curse I have, and secondly I'm not trying to freak a chick out.

The 2nd paragraph needs work. I'm sorry to say this but the only time in my NYC journeys that I've ever seen attractive women approached on the regular was at a lesbian bar. Get it?!? Men don't approach drop dead gorgeous dames on the regular. If they did there would be little to no need for those mandingo sized dildo's sold worldwide via AdamandEve.com......

#3. YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BE MYSTERIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He was right on this one. You bastards think a chick wants to hear that you're head of accounting for Kinko's?!? NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She wants to fuckin know what you do you tell her after that 3rd late night fuck session when she's done that thing with her leg over your..................nevermind you get the gist.

Hopefully we can keep this thread going. It would be fun to get views from you all.

[LG]

Good post. The key is being a decent guy but not a "nice guy". Many women end up marrying "nice guys", but often they will date a couple of dozen assholes before they do so. It's because "nice guys" might seem to needy or too clingy or too eager to please.

My own behaviour towards women has changed. I'm still respectful, still a decent guy, but I like to use humour a little bit more in my approach. I try to seem less keen, try to make the girl realise I don't need her but that I'm worth talking to.

So I don't tell girls I'm a consultant anymore. I might tell them that I'm the kind of guy who gets paid to tell people how to run their businesses and that it's better than real work. Or I might tell them that I'm a working on a novel, possibly a great novel, am halfway through the second chapter and it's shaping up better than my last six unfinished masterpieces. If they ask me why they should be interested in me, I tell them that I'm intelligent, witty, handsome and very, very modest. It's vital to smile when one says this all. Often it all works in my favour.

I think you can be funny without teasing a girl. Like you, I would never tease a girl I had just met. But if I know her well, I might say anything. The irony gloves are off.

As for approaching women, most men just don't do it. I have a problem in that I can't talk very loudly, so am at a disadvantage in noisy clubs, but in a small crowd things are different. I have finally overcome my shyness, too. And I think we guys should approach girls. We all think that the girls might reject us if we do approach them, and as a result we're all left to look on when some guy does and often succeeds. If you don't buy a lottery ticket, you can't win the lottery.

In the end, sadly the guys who do approach girls are those who don't give a shit about anything. Often, these are the real whack-jobs. One very beautiful girl I know seems to be a real asshole-magnet, having dated a succession of real nutcases. I believe these are the only men brave enough to approach her. Sad but true.

It's a shame that we decent guys never take the plunge.

[tsntx]

If they did there would be little to no need for those mandingo sized dildo's sold worldwide via AdamandEve.com......

oh you mean the one you let them mold you for? i use mine like a slinky down the stairs... its really fun!

[hwbs]

u can look good and still be stuck in the dreaded friend zone... u gotta have the gift of gab...i used to be the shyest guy in the world...also always in the fz...one day i just decided i just don't give a fuck..its just something u have to work on...if u are quick witted then the less nervous u will be...its kinda like going to a car dealership and coming off too anxious...BOO THE FRIEND ZONE !!!!! :P

[KiraHarden]

I agree most nice guys are afraid to speak or have no gift for gab. The bad boys are more confident, and know what they want in a woman ,and how to speak to us and get us attracted to them sexually, as well as emotionally. ME BOY YOU GIRL! i love when they approach me with MACHISMO attitude, and swagger.

I met this Guy (firefighter) from Myspace, we set up a meeting in a local bar, I was with some GF that night so i said why dont you come meet us.
He was one of the best looking men i have met (Wisconsin fireman Calender guy of year). It was not so much his looks, or body, but the way he talked to me, and made me feel. that made me want to date him. he swept my girlfriends off there feet as well that night...
Kira

[Dkg]

with me I found out that my window for being nice is around 2-3 weeks. Still though this isn't necessarily true. If a girl is attracted to you and your personality then all it would take is the right setting, words, etc and that "friend" look could easily change.

Also, not all women want jerks for boyfriends. It's ok to be nice but you can't act like just a friend. you have to show interest in her sexually.

[JohnnyWalkerBlackLabel]

If they did there would be little to no need for those mandingo sized dildo's sold worldwide via AdamandEve.com......

oh you mean the one you let them mold you for? i use mine like a slinky down the stairs... its really fun!

lol, bitch........................................

[Nooksack]

1) Women make decisions very, very quickly about whether a man is going to be "just a friend" or if he has romantic potential, and once her decision is made, it's probably going to stay made.

2) These decisions are made "unconsciously", meaning that women make all of them quickly and at a "gut level".

3) If you know how, you make her feel attraction feelings rather than "friend" feelings.

4) The way to do it is to stop acting "nice" and start acting, well... something else... and I don't mean "not nice".



1. I don't doubt that #1 is a true statement as well, considering that guys do it so often. However, I think that it still depends upon the woman. I think that in many cases this is true, but in others, it doesn't have to be. I've been in enough situations that being stuck in the "friends zone" has had some nice results. it lets you get close enough so that when jackhole #1 fucks up, they realize that they can depend upon you. Maybe it's a myth, but I don't find the women that I hang around with to be shallow enough to not realize a good thing when they see it. As a result, I have dated a number of them a bit after we actually met. Granted it doesn't always work out that way, but I'm a patient guy, too.

2. Ahh well... True

3. I hear that rufies work well... so do some other psychotropic drugs, but other than that and hypnotism, I don't think this author knows what the fuck he's talking about here.

4. You can be nice without being a goody-two-shoes. I guess I'm kinda lost. Is he saying "be an asshole" or "just don't be nice?"





2nd group

1. Ok, I guess it's just my naturally flirty nature, but I won't kick it off with talking to a woman and making fun of her. It might take me a few minutes to feel her out, but I'm not gonna start diming her out about what she's wearing or her hair or whatnot. Sounds like a great way to get a drink thrown in your face. "Hey babe, how many children slaved in China so you could wear that dress?"... I don't think that's going go over well. But maybe a good-natured jibe about what she's drinking... "sex on the beach? Sounds like someone's a little needy..." could go a long way towards breaking the ice. Or it could backfire horribly, lol.

2. I don't agree with this one at all. I like to make an d keep eye contact. Eye contact is a hallmark of confidence. While I won't stare her down and will look around and at other things, I think that a woman appreciates when she knows I'm paying attention to her. Please tell me if I'm wrong ladies. I'm not saying that I'm leering at her, but I will appear to listen. I may not actually be listening, to everything, but I can put up a good facade.

3. I will agree here! Being obtuse is some of the most fun that you can have with people. You don't even have to tell them something totally off the wall. In my experience, in a town where there is a high proportion of military people, you always get the "Special Forces" play. Me, I like to go for cook... sanitation engineer (janitor)... ballboy for the minor league baseball team... streetwalker... Keeping things fun is key, because if you can make her smile and laugh, then you're scoring points.


But I think LG hit it best by saying that you don't need to be an asshole, just be decent. Not nice, decent... although where does one draw the line?

[hondarobot]

Interesting topic. I actually prefer the "friend zone". I have no desire to be some Alpha Male, keeping my women in line, blah blah. I like going to strip clubs, having girls on my lap, then going home. I do not like getting hit on the head with a rolling pin.

I can't deal with the drama of striving to be personally responsible.

[tonkatoy]

I finally had to accept that I am an asshole at heart, so I don't try to pretend to be nice anymore. Actually I think I am a nice guy, but I do tease women, because it is the easiest way to make conversation, and you wind up talking about them, which is what they wanted to do in the first place. But I have only been in a few serious relationships, and most of them were because the girl made the first move. I defiantly think women have the upper hand when it comes to dating. My trouble is I usually wind up pissing them off in short order, but I guess sooner is better than later.