I saw someone steal a car

So today I was coming out of 24 hour fitness and I saw some guy slim-jimming this really nice CLK. He finally had to bust the window open

Actually, I'm not sure it was a guy, but statistically, science says it was probably a dude and that's good enough for me. I don't need to see someone try to steal a car for me to believe that someone tried to steal it.

I could tell he was trying to steal the car and that's what I told the police when they got there. So the coppers came out and ran the car for fingerprints or whatever. Good thing there were fingerprints. So now we have a lead on this guy.

Of course the cops asked me if I saw everything go down and of course I said yes. I mean, I didn't really see it but studies and statistics prove that it was probably a guy.... and who am I to argue with studies?

[yodajazz]

Out of curiousity why do you have doubts about it being a guy? Usually, aren't the most important things height, weight and clothing description, anyway? It it did not look like and adult male, chances are it was a young male. Some start stealing cars at the age of fourteen. So it is not so important whether you are sure the person was male or female, but any detail is important.

[trish]

I'm sure that if your communication with the police was as coherent as your post, then you were a great help.

[Quinn]

Yeah, this is Officer Jenkins. We’re putting out an APB on……on……well, we’re not sure if the individual in question is a man or a woman. Based upon the lone eyewitness account, this androgynous individual is believed to be between 4’11 and 6’7 in height. Said individual is of indeterminate race, may or may not have hair, could have eyes of any color, and was believed to be wearing clothes of some sort. Here is the most detailed sketch possible based upon the aforementioned eyewitness account:

[LG]

LOL at Trish's and Quinn's posts!

TFan, I hope you're pulling our leg, man.

[chefmike]

I'm sure that if your communication with the police was as coherent as your post, then you were a great help.

Cops are used to dealing with psychotic types...they probably recognized TFool from the neighborhood...he's the imbecile on the corner with the 'jesus saves' sign...

Whatever, Jenny from the block.

The cops are coming over for another interview or whatever. I was gonna show them the video tape I have of the guy, but I figured that I already have consensus on my side and why tamper with that?

[trish]

Now wait. There was a census

[chefmike]

The cops are coming over for another interview or whatever.

LMFAO...sure they are, TFool.

Maybe Joe Friday will even show up to interview an important witness like yourself, zippy...what a putz.

[trish]

They don't usually do two interviews. They're probably coming to take you downtown. If I were you Tfan, I'd skip the country.