Are TS Women?

[justatransgirl]

I didn't vote on this thread because the options were too limited and I didn't fit any of the options.

Frankly I no longer know, or care what I "am." I'm just Jamie. I used to have things all catagorized and I knew exactly who I was. But in my life as a professional entertainer things sometimes get blurred between my real life and my business life.

I've decided I'm a "boygirl." That's part girl, part boy, part both, part neither. I'm not a complete girl. But I'm not a man either. And I don't know if I'm part of an emerging "third gender" or just a composite of gender and sexual desires. And it just doesn't amtter to me anymore. I'm tired of trying to figure it all out. So I decided to just live as myself - whatever and whoever that is today.

I think that's a large part of why I receive the acceptance that I do. I don't try to be anyone that I'm not. So as tsntx mentioned I think because people don't feel deceived by me they don't feel threatened.

My partner on the other hand does NOT consider herself a transsexual, other than in the clinical sense - or from the viewpoint of people who must catagorize everything. To her she is simply a girl with a reproductive deformity.

Tsntx I applaude you sweetie for sticking up for yourself and your co-worker for doing the same.

I understand there are people who may have never encountered a TS - and if a respectful question is presented I will try to answer it. But (and this hasn't happened in ages - and on only three occasions total in my entire life) if someone is disrespectful to me regarding my gender they will get to experience the residual 82nd Airborne paratrooper in me...

I make occasional exceptions. One is a sweet neighbor lady who's about 80 and just cannot grasp the concept that a boy can also be a girl. I give her a break because she meets me for the first time about once a week. She's a lovely lady with a 3 minute memory.

Giggle,
TS Jamie

[tsntx]

i almost wrote "w/e peggy usually says is how i feel" but b/c i couldnt remember exactly what it was i didnt want to quote her wrong...

so now that she has posted... what peggy said.... for the most part.

i feel i am a woman
i know i am a transwoman
i know i am not a genetic woman
i know that i am not a generic woman

what society sees us as is what really matters tho when it comes to work, relationships, daily routines.

if someone calls me anything other then a woman or a ts woman i correct them... esp. if its a male reference...

yesterday, while at work as a makeup artist for MAC inside Nordstroms dept. store, an indian woman said to the girl doing her makeup:
"thats a man"
the girl said "yes so?"
"but hes got breast"
the girl said "and?"

then i stepped in and said "mam im doing your daughters makeup for her wedding, if you do not correct yourself IMMEIDIATELY i will refuse service and no one in this STORE will work on yall"
i turned to the girl and said "i am a woman, i am a trans-woman. i am NOT a man and for you to acknowledge otherwise is an insult. youre free to go home for the day and please feel free to do some research online or message me on myspace and ask me any questions you may have, but again, do NOT inform customers or other ppl on subjects to which you do not know the answers"

i really enjoy being the boss... cant ya tell?

Did you check the laws on this in your state??? You just better hope that your worker doesn't file a harrassment complaint against you. Since you published it in an online forum, it's be mighty difficult to claim you never said it...

i have nothing to fear in this statement... could you please enlighten me where i should fear her feeling i harassed her? and how did i harass her? in all seriousness... please point this out to me. thnx.

[dabaldone]

I've been in a LTR with a transwoman for more than 4 yrs. I've also dated a ton of genetic women and have been married twice. All of the trans-women I know are definitely women, form their attitudes, how they think and how others see them
I like Tsntx's comment that she is not a "generic" woman. Trans-women are just a cut above....in my humble opinion.

[melissacarter]

What a lame set of answers and typical of the outsider looking in. Admirers, as much as we want and need them, are surprsingly out of tune with who and what we are. Then again, half the admirers are married and sleeping next to a wife whose gained 40 lbs since their wedding night. So for many, we serve only as a fantasy escape from their regular world.

I would have liked to see at least one answer that said "100% woman, regardless of their genitals". That would at least tell us there are men that view us as women, not some exotic creature captured in the hills of the Serengeti.

I have met a few men that truly see us as women. They are unfortunately not the norm. To those men, thank you.

www.melissacarter.net

[LG]

What a lame set of answers and typical of the outsider looking in. Admirers, as much as we want and need them, are surprsingly out of tune with who and what we are. Then again, half the admirers are married and sleeping next to a wife whose gained 40 lbs since their wedding night. So for many, we serve only as a fantasy escape from their regular world.

I would have liked to see at least one answer that said "100% woman, regardless of their genitals". That would at least tell us there are men that view us as women, not some exotic creature captured in the hills of the Serengeti.

I have met a few men that truly see us as women. They are unfortunately not the norm. To those men, thank you.

www.melissacarter.net

I agree that we men, however hard we try, can never truly "get you" because we cannot place ourselves in your position. We rely on our inner feelings, on how we interact with you (socially more than sexually), on our perceptions- right or wrong as they may be- and on what we read and find out for ourselves.

Early on, when I realised I was attracted to transgirls, I didn't really care much for all this. But over time, interacting on this board and viewing the websites of a great many girls online, such as that of Calpernia Addams (and specifically this section: http://www.calpernia.com/aboutme/tra...definition.htm) I came to understand more. I like to think that am I one of those "few men" you mention. And I hope there are more than a few of us.

If you read through the posts you will see my response on the original poll question and you will also see how one or two people have agreed with me. In his post here, Ecstatic said much the same as I did in my post, but a little more concisely. But basically what we both meant to say was "100% women regardless of their genitals". That said, both he and I (and I think many of us) recognize that some transwomen seem to prefer to be categorized into a third category. For more on this, you can view my thread here:

So yes, some of us accept you as women. But the truth is we will all remain outsiders in a sense. It's just that some of us want to know more about what's inside. All you girls have to do is let us into your world and your lives.

[melissacarter]

Thank you, LG. I did read your replies and did take note of both your sensitivity and understanding along with Ecstatic's.

Thank you for Calpernia's weblink. I recently read her story in a book I'm currently reading called "Sexual Metamorphosis". Her description is excellent and I also found your post about the differences between a transsexual woman and an effeminate male interesting.

Clearly, guys like you go beyond the flesh to a deeper understanding. I would imagine from your end, it makes your relationships with transwomen far more fullfilling. Perhaps there are more of you good guys out there than I originally thought. You are also making me re-evaluate my original perception of the HA site, as I thought it was mostly sex, sex, sex but clearly, that is not the case. Thanks.

[melissacarter]

DarkThanos, you are right I just noticed that.

Jeez, I'm not passing judgement but I can't think of one tgirl that would feel comfortable with any of those definitions.

[crayons]

i stepped in and said "mam im doing your daughters makeup for her wedding, if you do not correct yourself IMMEIDIATELY i will refuse service and no one in this STORE will work on yall"
i turned to the girl and said "i am a woman, i am a trans-woman. i am NOT a man and for you to acknowledge otherwise is an insult. youre free to go home for the day and please feel free to do some research online or message me on myspace and ask me any questions you may have, but again, do NOT inform customers or other ppl on subjects to which you do not know the answers"

i really enjoy being the boss... cant ya tell?

You go girl!

[yodajazz]

I have said this before, but I'll say it again. The more I learn about TS women, the more I see their lives a just regular women, so to speak. Often times I don't even need to make a distinction. For example I can say that some men only go after women to get between thier legs. Or that women feel a lot of pressure by being judged by their looks.

Then again, half the admirers are married and sleeping next to a wife whose gained 40 lbs since their wedding night. So for many, we serve only as a fantasy escape from their regular world.

I want to speak up for married men, and say don't write them all off. Some marriages are truly unhappy ones. In my case my wife will sometmes say, "you'd be happier with a ts woman". Everyone deserves happiness, even married people. Or do they?

[Ecstatic]

Thank you, LG. I did read your replies and did take note of both your sensitivity and understanding along with Ecstatic's.

Thanks, Melissa. I understand your frustration, but I also appreciate that you recognize that some of us have evolved a bit beyond the caveman, lol. I enjoy reading your comments as they help move the dialogue along.