Witness your ass out my neighborhood.......................

[JohnnyWalkerBlackLabel]

I usually take off Wednesday mornings to hang out with my father, but my folks are getting work done on the house so I told him next week and went back to bed. My fucking front door bell rings at 8:29am. I'm saying to myself "who the fuck is ringing my fuckin doorbell this early?!?"

So I grab some sweats, jump in em, go to the window next to the doorway of my place and what do I see? JEHOVA'S WITNESSES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! At 8 fucking 30 something doing their door to door.

Look I have nothing against anyone's religion, hell I dated a few light-skinned chicks back in the day that were JW's. With that said no one, AND I MEAN NO ONE, should have their doorbell ring that fucking early unless its a close family relative and there is news of another family member's demise.........

At 1st I was pissed and proceeded to the door ready to open it up and cuss them out, but I gathered myself, turned around jumped out of my sweats and dove right back into bed, drowning their attempts to contact me via my now annoying door bell with the tunes of di.fm's 'soulful house'.......

Could I go back to sleep? NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Where am I? In the FUCKING OFFICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I mean I might as well not waste the energy, right?!?

So as I sit here with the sun bouncing off my favorite picture frame in my office window smacking me in the eye with it's rays, I pat myself on the back for not being the demonic, cold, self-centered mod I often appear to be here on HA to some people just trying to spread the word of their faith. Yet at the same time I feel compelled to get my anger off my chest. If you are a JW I apologize in advance................................

FUCK YOU MOTHERFUCKIN DOOR TO DOOR, PAMPHLET ON MY DOOR STEP DROPPING, WATCHTOWER PRINTING, WON'T LEAVE A DOORSTEP WITHOUT A FIGHT HAVING, MIND GAMES (BY SENDING YOUR GOOD LOOKING MEMBERS OUT TO SUCKER MEN IN) PLAYING, RELIGIOUS FANATICS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM GOING TO GET A FUCKING PUREBRED DOBERMAN AND TRAIN HIM TO BITE ANYONE THAT COMES TO MY FRONT DOOR WITH A WATCHTOWER PAMPHLET IN THEIR HAND!!!!!!!!!!! ONE THOUSAND CURSES UPON YOU AND YOUR NON CHRISTMAS ACKNOWLEDGING ASSES FOR DENYING ME THE OPPORTUNITY OF A FEW EXTRA ZZZZZ's!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JWBL™

[peggygee]

Anyone that knows me, knows you ain't getting in unless you've
called first. That applies to family, friends, ANYONE.

Having said that, I too have JWs in my neighborhood. They tend
to travel in 'packs', about 20 strong.

And they are known to come knocking and ringing on my door,
like a SWAT team serving a 'no knock' warrant.

Now, I'm a God fearing woman. I try to be respectful of others,
and I think that trying to save souls is a commendable endeavour.

But after them blowing up my door, on more than a few occasions,
I have had to step to them, and to express in no uncertain terms
I'm not interested.

I haven't seen them in quite a while.

[muhmuh]

you should start fucking with them
opening the door naked
talking to them for hours only to drop a line like "i think humans were put on earth to have sex with transsexuals"
sooner or later theyll learn to avoid your doorbell

[JohnnyWalkerBlackLabel]

I seriously doubt that would work, JW's are fucking impervious to shit that normal folks would consider extreme. Never in my existence have I experienced a religious faith that will get cussed out and continue to go door to door

[flabbybody]

assholes

[Ecstatic]

My wife is Jewish (at least, 3 or 4 days a year, lol), so years ago we put a mezuzah on the door jamb. When JW's drop by, I simply point to the mezuzah and say, "Sorry, but the messiah hasn't come yet," bid them a good day and close the door.

[flabbybody]

LOL. can we make JWBL an honorary Jew?

[JohnnyWalkerBlackLabel]

LOL, actually my ex is Jewish, I'm gonna call her right now

[ARMANIXXX]

All of you heathens are hellbound.

[Jennifer_English]

A*holes !

I actually invited them in once back in my pill popping days... (XTC)

I let them explain their faith to me and listened intently until one small detail they had said didnt seem to make sense....

It goes like this..

Apparantly they believe that 144,000 (i THINK thats the number) of them are going to be saved when the day of reakoning comes..

problem is.... theres 80 million of them!!! WTF happens to the other 79 million odd i asked....seems like a bit of a raw deal...they didnt seem to have an answer for that!!

muppets.