smell of the snatch

[AllanahStarrNYC]

TJT u are so ignorant-

The ''fishy' smell that occurs in a vagina- as I have smelled it- occurs as well in any vagina and even in uncircumsized penis. It's the bacteria, urine, persperation- etc that cause this.

I have smelled quite a few fishy uncircumsized penises is my life.

I have heard of alot of post op women telling me how they must douche
or it does get that smell.

Really, people- get a clue!!!!!!

[peggygee]

http://webster.com/dictionary/ignorance

Main Entry: ig·no·rance

Pronunciation: 'ig-n(&-)r&n(t)s

Function: noun
: the state or fact of being ignorant : lack of knowledge, education, or
awareness

Ignorance, per se is not a bad thing. It means that you lack lnowledge,
or awareness on a particular subject, you have no frame of reference
in that particular area.

What is a bad thing, is to state things as factual that you do not have
knowledge of, or when you intentionally disseminate misinformation, or
disinformation.

I realize that many members of the board may not be particularly
knowledgeable on matters of gynecology, female anatomy and
physiology, most men aren't.

And assuredly they are lacking in correct information as to matters
impacting post operative transwomen.

So for you, here is some information on why the vaginas of women,
all women, trans and natal smell the way they do.



What normally causes odor in the perineal and vaginal area?

Perineal odor is caused by oils in sweat gland secretions, vaginal secretions and urine if a woman is having urine leakage. All sweat gland secretions are basically the same components as urine so it is not uncommon to have a urine "smell" in the vulvar area which is really from sweating rather than from losing urine. Some people would describe urine odor as somewhat like ammonia.

Many of the foods we eat have odorous oils that end up being secreted in sweat. The more fat we ingest, the more oils are secreted. Vegetarians will have less "sweat odor" than meat eaters unless they are consuming a lot of pungent, spicy foods. Skin bacteria can also react with sweat and produce noxious odors although some scientists question that this occurs to any major degree (1, 2). It is very likely that some women have different genetic metabolism than others so that they produce different acids in sweat that give distinctive smells (3).

Finally, sweat glands can be depleted of their oils (temporarily) after they are excreted during sweating. After a vigorous workout, most women and men will tell you that subsequent sweating does not produce as heavy a body odor as when they first broke sweat. You have probably noticed that yourself if you have been outside working on a hot day and then go shower, subsequent sweating produces less "smell" than it did before the shower. In this case you not only depleted the sweat oils but also reduced the skin bacteria that convert some of the sweat substances to acids and compounds that are odorous.

What about a fishy odor from the perineal area?

What causes that?
A fishy odor from the vaginal area can sometimes represent a bacterial vaginosis. In this case the bacteria in the vagina are releasing amines which give a typical fishy smell.

There is also a metabolic syndrome called fish odor syndrome (trimethylaminuria) which is caused by abnormal excretion of trimethylamine in the breath, urine, sweat, saliva and vaginal secretions (4). The trimethylamine is produced by bowel bacteria that break down certain amino acids, carnitine and choline that occur in high concentrations in marine fish, egg yolks, soy beans and liver. While this is a rare condition, it goes to show that bowel bacteria, skin bacteria and your own genetic metabolism interplay with ingested food to produce body odors beyond normal sweat gland oils and acids.

If you at all think that the perineal odor smells fishy, be sure to see you doctor for a vaginal exam to rule out bacterial vaginosis as well as eliminating liver, fish, soy beans, egg yolks and any nutritional supplements that may contain choline and carnitine.

I have heard of sex odors. How do those play a role?

We still do not know very much about pheromones which are compounds that give a "sexual smell" in both males and females (5). In women these substances are thought to originate from the vagina but it is more likely that they come from vulvar sweat glands.



What can I do practically about perineal odor? Can I use deodorant sprays?

It is best to try to control body odors by natural means rather than deodorant and antiperspirant cover ups because many women can get an irritant vulvitis from chemicals placed on the vulvar region. This does not happen with all women but does with some. If you think the odor is originating from vaginal secretions, be sure to see your doctor to be checked for bacterial vaginosis rather than using douche solutions. Chronic douching can actually cause a vaginitis.

Other things to do to help:

have a daily aerobic workout before going to work - this can help dissipate sweat gland compounds and then
bath or shower before work to remove as much skin bacteria as possible - this will help daytime odors.
avoid seafood, liver and egg yolks as well as pungent vegetables such as onions, garlic asparagus etc., for awhile to see if this makes any difference.
minimize stress and any sweating at work if possible - if you feel you have excessive sweating, ask your doctor about medications to help this.

I know of no way to have a "nice floral scent" in the perineal area by altering diet and skin bacteria. You will have to use some type of covering deodorant. Be very careful that you do not develop an irritant vulvitis.



http://www.wdxcyber.com/nvulva07.htm

[peggygee]

A number of people have inquired what IPOWA is, and
I am sure that many have wondered it as well.



IPOWA is the acronym for the International Post
Operative Womens Association.

Our mission statement:

Mission:
The primary objective of the International Post
Operative Women Association (IPOWA)
is education and advocacy on issues related
to post operative transsexual women.

Specifically:
Providing information to the general public, government
entities, academia, and our members at large.

Said information shall consist of, but not be limited to issues
of Law, Employment, Health, and Technology.

We will coordinate effective and efficient strategies, and
policies through continuity, communication, and collaboration.

Finally, IPOWA will never remain mute, to statements that are
libelous, slanderous, or derogatory in nature, that are made to,
or about women in general, and, transgendered and post
operative women specifically.

[xfiver]

now THERE'S the textbook I've been waiting for!

PREACH ON, PEGGY!

[xfiver]

Coming Out as Transgender: A Lifelong Journey

From birth, most of us have been taught to think of ourselves as the gender that corresponds with our biological sex. Society strongly discourages us from identifying more with another gender. As a result, many of us are surprised and confused when it happens.

The process of coming out as transgender begins as you learn more about your true self and become comfortable with your own gender identity. It can be a confusing and frustrating time because there’s a lot of pressure from society, culture and family to adhere to traditional definitions of gender. Being transgender, however, is merely a way to express who you are, and the challenge is to accept this part of yourself.

For those who are transgender, coming out means acknowledging their gender identity — the internal sense of being male or female — and then determining how to express that identity. Transgender people must also decide when and how to share with others the way they understand their gender.

“There is no one way to be transgendered,” says Jamison Green, female-to-male transsexual activist and author. “Some of us just want to alleviate our body and gender misalignment and experience life as ‘ordinary’ men and women.”

Some transgender people know from an early age that they cannot live as the sex they were assigned at birth and find ways to express their conflicting gender identity. Many others, however, struggle to adhere to expected gender roles well into their adult and sometimes senior years. Whenever or however a person comes out, it is important to remember that gender can vary and many people don't fit neatly into one narrow definition.

Figuring out who you are can be very difficult — and it can take time. Remember, however, that most of the negative stereotypes of transgender people you may have heard are based on erroneous or inadequate information. And what you need are facts.

Whether or not they identify as transgender, many gay, lesbian, bisexual and straight people transgress traditional gender roles. A straight female with short hair who is often called “sir,” a boyish-looking lesbian whose presence in the women’s restroom is questioned, a gay teen who is scolded for “not acting like a man” — all face bias due to preconceived notions of gender. But the more people see how gender varies, the more people will embrace both their transgender brothers and sisters and the laws that treat them equally.

Because of societal restraints, being out as transgender is not always easy, but it’s also the only way to educate others about gender identity and expression. Facing possible rejection and even violence, transgender people must continue coming out to friends, family, co-workers and community members so that they can, in turn, become more accepting and supportive.


> Home > Coming Out > Coming Out as Trans

What Does 'Transgender' Mean?

Transgender is a term used to describe a broad range of people who experience and/or express their gender somewhat differently from what most people expect. It is an overarching term that includes those expressing gender characteristics that don't correspond with characteristics traditionally ascribed to the person's sex or presumed sex, including transsexuals (the medical term describing people whose gender and sex do not line up and who often seek medical treatment to bring their bodies and gender identities into alignment) and cross-dressers (those who identify with their biological gender but sometimes dress in the clothing of the opposite gender).

Some people use the term transgender to identify themselves because they have strong feelings about both genders and aren’t comfortable identifying as exclusively male or female. Some transgender people define themselves as female-to-male or male-to-female transsexuals, and may take hormones prescribed by a doctor and/or undergo medical procedures, including sex reassignment surgery. Others prefer to simply be called male or female — the gender that they present to others, whether they have undergone medical changes or not.

“I am comfortable knowing that I am transgender, and while I’ve not begun to transition, some day I might decide that is the right path for me,” says Tomas Moore, female-to-male transgender.

Wherever one is on the transgender spectrum, coming out can be frightening, challenging and sometimes dangerous. But it can also be rewarding, affirming and cathartic. The important thing is to be honest with yourself, and — when you are ready — to be ho

Those who express a transgender identity while young face some unique challenges. As minors, young transgender people are likely to be at the will of their parents or primary caregivers, who do not always understand their experiences. They may sometimes seek out professionals who turn out to be misinformed and actively seek to “repair” or “reform” their children — forcing them to adhere to gender norms and often causing much harm in the process.

Because of this possibility, many young transgender people choose not to risk coming out and instead conceal their gender issues as long as they can. For some, this revelation happens when the need to express their gender according to their internal sense of self grows too strong to suppress. For others, it occurs at puberty, when the natural onset of hormones results in even more noticeable reminders that the transgender person’s body does not match his or her gender identity.

“I had been able to believe that I was a girl all through growing up, but puberty was in many ways a very rude awakening,” says Joely Adamson, a male-to-female transsexual insurance agent from New York City. “I couldn’t pretend I didn’t have certain body parts when they were acting independently of my wishes!”

Regardless of the age at which a person comes out, it is essential to find accurate information and develop a support system.

“I spent the first 40 years of my life as a man in a man’s world,” says Donna Rose, male-to-female transsexual and author of Wrapped in Blue: A Journey of Discovery. “One reason it took so long to figure out who I was and accept it was the lack of information available. It was pre-Internet; the media sensationalized transgender issues and out transgender people, and I didn’t know anyone personally to talk to about this issue. It felt like I was on a desert island.”

Today, there are many more sources of information for transgender people, including online chat groups, books, advocacy organizations and the Internet.

“The Internet has made a huge difference for trans people,” says Stephen Braveman, a professional sex educator and counselor with his own practice in Monterey, Calif. “I’ve had clients who were ‘out’ to others on the Internet for a number of years before they are able to come out to themselves or others as transgender. The information and resources offered [online] are vital, and for many gender-variant people, being able to communicate with someone who has been down the road before is literally a lifeline.”

Many transgender people find it helpful to seek professional counseling and therapy. Health care professionals are able to assist transgender people in determining how best to proceed in remedying the internal sense of self with the physical body.

“If I could send one message to those who are coming to terms with their gender identity, it would be to tell them that it is not a mental disorder,” says Braveman. “But it is critically important to have a knowledgeable health care professional to speak with during this time.”

To find a gender therapist, Braveman suggests a number of options, including running an Internet search with the key words transgender and therapist; getting referrals from other transgender people and contacting gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender health organizations such as the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association, which offers a health care provider referral search on its website.

While the likelihood of finding a therapist who identifies as transgender is small, it’s often easier to locate a peer-led support group. These groups offer the chance to meet positive role models. Interacting with others can help transgender people get a variety of perspectives on next steps, learn about options in the process of gender transition and get first-hand information on health care providers.

“I am a great believer in the power of groups to be helpful to individuals seeking information, support and therapy around gender concerns,” says Dr. Barbara Anderson, coordinator of gender identity treatment services at San Francisco's Center for Special Problems. “Through meeting with others who are grappling with similar issues, one feels less alone with one’s problems. The sense of being freakish disappears and hope for a positive outcome grows as one sees others who have reached higher levels of confidence and comfort than their own.”

Another valuable resource is Transgender Care: Recommended Guidelines, Practical Information and Personal Accounts by Gianna Israel, et al. (Temple University Press, 1997).

nitially, a child with significant cross-gender expression or a transgender person may be thought to be gay or lesbian — partly because of the general public’s lack of education on the difference between gender identity and sexual orientation.

“I spent the majority of my high school years confident that my attraction to other women and my love of boyish clothes meant that I was a lesbian,” says Eddie Goldman, a college student in Cleveland who identifies as genderqueer. “There was available information about sexual orientation and public role models like k.d. lang and Ellen DeGeneres. It wasn’t until I saw Boys Don’t Cry [the film that dramatizes the life and hate crime murder of Brandon Teena, who was born female but lived his teen and adult life as a man] that I began to consider that I myself might be something other than a ‘traditional’ dyke, but maybe a boy. I began to think beyond just how I identified and into how I felt inside.”

One reason that confusion persists is that most education about sexuality and identity issues has been done around sexual orientation. Society tends to categorize people based on the knowledge it has, however limited that knowledge may be. So the uneducated person sees a “butch lesbian” when the individual may actually identify as a female-to-male transgender. Or people see an “effeminate gay male” when in reality the individual’s true gender identity is female.

As more transgender people come out openly about their gender identity, this confusion will become less of a problem.

Many transgender people find it helpful to seek professional counseling and therapy. Health care professionals are able to assist transgender people in determining how best to proceed in remedying the internal sense of self with the physical body.

“If I could send one message to those who are coming to terms with their gender identity, it would be to tell them that it is not a mental disorder,” says therapist Stephen Braveman. “But it is critically important to have a knowledgeable health care professional to speak with during this time.

GID is how the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders characterizes transsexualism. Diagnostic criteria for GID include strong and persistent cross-gender identification that extends beyond a desire for a perceived cultural advantage. People with GID act and present themselves as members of the opposite sex. The feeling of being in the body of the “wrong” sex must persist for at least two years for this diagnosis to be made.

Transgender activists are continuing to discuss whether this diagnosis is helpful to transgender people. There have been some incidents when psychologists have institutionalized patients in ignorant attempts to “correct” a person’s gender presentation. Insurance carriers, however, currently cover many medications prescribed to patients diagnosed with other disorders classified in the manual. Some activists believe they could als

There are some similarities between what transgender people and gay, lesbian and bisexual people face when coming out to family members. Both groups are likely to fear that their parents will reject them after they come out. If you’re still living at home, you might be afraid that they will throw you out of the house or stop paying for college. Family members might tell you you're immoral, end communications or simply stop loving you.

While it's true that many parents are shocked when their children come out to them, it is also true that for many parents, it's very hard to permanently reject their children. Parents might react in ways that hurt. Some cry, get angry or shut down emotionally. Some try to send their child to counselors or therapists in attempts to change their child. Many go through a cycle of anger and loss that for some eventually turns into acceptance.

Remember that your parents grew up in a time when some of the misperceptions about gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people were more prevalent than they are today, and many of those that concern transgender people still persist. Remember, too, that they probably think they are trying to keep you safe from something they don’t understand. It’s important to give your family time to adjust to the news. There's really no set schedule for how long it takes parents to adjust. Some take months. Some take years. And, of course, some have known all along.

“There was some information online written for parents about having a child come out as trans,” says Tomas Moore, female-to-male transgender graduate student. “Reading it really helped me understand what they would be going through and allowed me to give them the time they needed to process and understand.”

Many people will have questions when you come out to them. You might want to be prepared by having information about gender identity and expression to give them. Researching local support groups for parents and families of transgender people is helpful, too. Many communities have local chapters of Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays, which has a PFLAG Transgender Network, T-NET. T-NET is not a chapter of PFLAG, but rather a special affiliate that focuses on promoting the health and well-being of transgender people and their families and friends. They produce a booklet, Our Trans Children, that your parents may find helpful in understanding what you have just told them.

After coming out to their families, some transgender people find that their relatives can be some of their most supportive and dedicated advocates.

“When we were growing up I was the big brother who protected my sister,” says Donna Rose, an information technology specialist from Austin, Texas, who transitioned from male to female when she was in her 40s. “But now that we’re grown up and I’ve transitioned, more often than not she is my bodyguard!”

Some transgender people come out only after years of denial, having spent many of those years in heterosexual marriages, sometimes with children.

Much of what determines whether a marriage will continue depends on both of the spouses and what each is willing to accept, give up and/or change. As with all relationships, the ability to communicate and compromise is crucial. One spouse coming to terms with his or her gender identity and even transitioning does not automatically mean that the marriage will end. While some do, there are other couples who weather the changes and remain in a loving relationship.

For more about marriage and the unique legal issues that many transgender people face, read Transgender People and Marriage: The Importance of Legal Planning.

Transparentcy is a web-based community for transgender parents and offers a comprehensive list of related resources. Organizations such as the Straight Spouse Support Network can help the non-transgender spouse during this often confusing time. For children of transgender parents, organizations such as Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere offer resources and personal stories.

Often before a child is even born, the first question for parents is, “Will it be a boy or a girl?” Much of society expects a person’s gender to be rigid and unchanging. In the public arena, confusion about gender may make people uncomfortable, and can sometimes lead them to say and do things to express that discomfort. This means that transgender people often face harassment while engaged in the day-to-day interactions required in our society.

“I’ve gotten to a point where I have stored up snappy answers to the questions people will ask me,” says Aron Lane, a female-to-male transgender graduate student from Chicago. “But that only happened after years of being told I was in the wrong bathroom. The first few times it happened, I felt so ashamed, as if I was in the wrong for being who I was.”

Everyday Life

Basic life occurrences such as renewing your driver’s license, using a credit card, boarding an airplane or using a public bathroom turn into anxious moments for many transgender people.

For some transgender people, one of the first steps in expressing their identity is being called by a name that reflects their gender. There are many reasons why transgender people may want to change their names. From an emotional standpoint, a name change reflecting your gender can be a significant part of expressing your identity. Practically, a name that isn’t typically associated with the gender someone presents may cause unnecessary confusion and discomfort. Again, however, it’s important to give others time to adjust to a new name.

“When I asked people to start calling me J., there were obviously many who didn’t understand why it was important to me and many more who just had a hard time switching from my female name,” says J. Smith, HRC’s communications manager who identifies as transgender. “Now, almost everybody has the hang of it. The next step is my identity documents, though. Changing them can be a hassle, but because most people in public perceive me as male, I face hassles almost every time I hand someone my credit card, my driver’s license or even when I’m using a membership card to rent a movie.”

Some male-to-female transgender people take their first gender-expressive steps by transgressing a particular gender norm such as wearing earrings or shaving their legs.

Further steps can be taken to formalize one’s transition. In many states, transsexuals can obtain new or amended birth certificates that indicate their new gender identities and names following sex-reassignment surgery, which can then be used to change the sex on a driver’s license.

For more information on making these legal changes, visit the section on gender identity, the National Center for Lesbian Rights’ Transgender Law Project or the Transgender Law & Policy Institute.

Encounters with Ignorance and Hate

For many people, the first reaction to the unknown is fear, and sometimes that fear becomes hatred. Unfortunately, some people choose to hate everyone who is different from them. Because there is still much education to be done about gender identity issues, transgender people often face harassment and physical threats. Only eight states (California, Hawaii, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, New Mexico, Pennsylvania and Vermont) and the District of Columbia have laws that cover crimes motivated by prejudice based on gender identity. This situation persists despite a strong popular consensus that individuals should never be subjected to violence because of who they are, according to a 2002 poll on transgender issues conducted by the Human Rights Campaign Foundation.

Local, state and national GLBT activists are working to educate the public and to pass gender-inclusive hate crimes laws. A federal hate crimes bill, known as the Local Law Enforcement Enhancement Act, would add real or perceived sexual orientation, gender and disability to the existing hate crimes statute. The members of Congress leading efforts on this bill say that the phrase “real or perceived gender” means it include crimes against transgender people. More than 175 law enforcement, civil rights and religious organizations support the bill, including the AFL-CIO, the National Council of La Raza and the Anti-Defamation League. For more information on this measure, go to the HRC Action Center.

No one should be denied the right to a full life because of their gender expression or identity. The Human Rights Campaign will continue to work until transgender Americans are free from the fear of hate violence. We all have a part to play in educating America about gender identity issues, and coming out as transgender is a powerful way to help end the ignorance.

It's not easy to come out on the job, even if you've already come out to your family and friends. Those who come out as transgender in the workplace are often met with ignorance and a lack of respect. Some transgender people lose their jobs, face discrimination and bigotry or are forced to quit in order to avoid negative reactions and hostility.

It’s important to take inventory of the risks involved with being out at work. Coming out on the job has the potential to affect your livelihood, since there is no federal law that protects you from being fired because of your gender identity. There are, however, four states and 67 cities and counties with laws that prohibit discrimination based on gender identity and expression. Additionally, a number of other states interpret their existing non-discrimination laws to protect transgender people. It's important to know the law in your city or state before coming out at work. Another good source of information is the Transgender Law & Policy Institute.

Additionally, more corporations and businesses in the private sector are beginning to cover gender identity and expression in their non-discrimination policies. A growing number of private sector employers include gender identity in their non-discrimination policies, including such Fortune 500 companies such as IBM and J.P. Morgan Chase & Co.

“Most employers wouldn’t knowingly create a hostile work environment for the employees in whom they have invested time and training,” says Diego Sanchez, director of TransHealth and Education and Development at the Justice Resource Institute. “Inclusive policies help a company retain valuable employees.”
If you are transgender, you may wish to discuss your personal situation with a trusted manager, supervisor or human resources professional before coming out to co-workers.

Due to the possible consequences, there are many important questions to ask yourself before coming out at work.

Popular culture in America has a profound effect on society. The images that are presented through music, television, movies and other media influence how society perceives others. It is important for people to see accurate portrayals of themselves, and transgender people are no exception.

Images, positive and negative, of transgender people in the entertainment world continue to lag behind the visibility of gay, lesbian and bisexual characters, but some progress has been made. Although according to the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation, the 2003-2004 primetime television line up contained no transgender characters for the second season in a row, there have been some accurate portrayals of transgender people on television in the past. Shows that have featured recurring transgender characters in the past include 'The Education of Max Bickford' and 'Ally McBeal.'

The big screen has been more welcoming to transgender characters, though not always in the most accurate light. Movies such as 'Some Like It Hot,' 'Tootsie' and 'Mrs. Doubtfire' all featured men who posed as women, not because they identified as transgender but to mislead other characters for their own personal benefit. 'Yentl' features Barbra Streisand presenting herself as a boy to study the Torah. More recent films such as 'To Wong Foo: Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar;' 'Boys Don’t Cry;' 'Different for Girls' and 'The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert' have come closer to accurate portrayals. Documentary films such as 'The Brandon Teena Story' and 'No Dumb Questions' have not only educated thousands of people, but are winning awards at independent film festivals such as Sundance.

Another area where the representation of transgender people has often been inaccurate is journalism. Often, reporters choose to use pronouns and descriptions of transgender people that are inconsistent with how the individual wants to be identified. A groundbreaking development occurred, however, when the Associated Press released the 2000 version of the Associated Press Stylebook and Briefing on Media Law which included a revised definition for sex changes: "sex changes: Use the pronoun preferred by the individuals who have acquired the physical characteristics (by hormone therapy, body modification, or surgery) of the opposite sex and present themselves in a way that does not correspond with their sex at birth. If that preference is not expressed, use the pronoun consistent with the way the individuals live publicly."

KNOWLEDGE IS POWER!!!!!

GOOGLE KICKS ASS!!!

Narcissistic Personality Disorder

While grandiosity is the diagnostic hallmark of pathological narcissism, there is research evidence that pathological narcissism occurs in two forms, (a) a grandiose state of mind in young adults that can be corrected by life experiences, and (b) the stable disorder described in DSM-IV, which is defined less by grandiosity than by severely disturbed interpersonal relations.
The preferred theory seems to be that narcissism is caused by very early affective deprivation, yet the clinical material tends to describe narcissists as unwilling rather than unable, thus treating narcissistic behaviors as volitional -- that is, narcissism is termed a personality disorder, but it tends to be discussed as a character disorder. This distinction is important to prognosis and treatment possibilities. If NPD is caused by infantile damage and consequent developmental short-circuits, it probably represents an irremediable condition. On the other hand, if narcissism is a behavior pattern that's learned, then there is some hope, however tenuous, that it's a behavior pattern that can be unlearned. The clinical literature on NPD is highly theoretical, abstract, and general, with sparse case material, suggesting that clinical writers have little experience with narcissism in the flesh. There are several reasons for this to be so:
-- The incidence of NPD is estimated at 1% in the general population, though I haven't been able to discover the basis of this estimate.
-- Narcissists rarely enter treatment and, once in treatment, progress very slowly. We're talking about two or more years of frequent sessions before the narcissist can acknowledge even that the therapist is sometimes helpful. It's difficult to keep narcissists in treatment long enough for improvement to be made -- and few people, narcissists or not, have the motivation or the money to pursue treatment that produces so little so late.
-- Because of the influence of third-party payers (insurance companies), there has been a strong trend towards short-term therapy that concentrates on ameliorating acute troubles, such as depression, rather than delving into underlying chronic problems. Narcissists are very reluctant to open up and trust, so it's possible that their NPD is not even recognized by therapists in short-term treatment. Purely anecdotal evidence from correspondents and from observations of people I know indicates that selective serotonin-reuptake inhibitors, such as Prozac, aggravate narcissists' grandiosity and lack of social inhibition. It has also been suggested that self-help literature about bolstering self-esteem and getting what you want out of life or that encourages the feeling of victimization has aggravating effects on NPD thinking and behavior.
-- Most clinical writers seem unaware that narcissists' self-reports are unreliable. This is troubling, considering that lying is the most common complaint about narcissists and that, in many instances, defects of empathy lead narcissists to wildly inaccurate misinterpretations of other people's speech and actions, so that they may believe that they are liked and respected despite a history of callous and exploitative personal interactions.

[from Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 4th edition, 1994, commonly referred to as DSM-IV, of the American Psychiatric Association. European countries use the diagnostic criteria of the World Health Organization.]

A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy.[jma: NPD first appeared in DSM-III in 1980; before that time there had been no formal diagnostic description. Additionally, there is considerable overlap between personality disorders and clinicians tend to diagnose mixes of two or more. Grandiosity is a special case, but lack of empathy and exploitative interpersonal relations are not unique to NPD, nor is the need to be seen as special or unique. The differential diagnosis of NPD is made on the absence of specific gross behaviors. Borderline Personality Disorder has several conspicuous similarities to NPD, but BPD is characterized by self-injury and threatened or attempted suicide, whereas narcissists are rarely self-harming in this way. BPD may include psychotic breaks, and these are uncharacteristic of NPD but not unknown. The need for constant attention is also found in Histrionic Personality Disorder, but HPD and BPD are both strongly oriented towards relationships, whereas NPD is characterized by aloofness and avoidance of intimacy. Grandiosity is unique to NPD among personality disorders, but it is found in other psychiatric illnesses. Psychopaths display pathological narcissism, including grandiosity, but psychopathy is differentiated from NPD by psychopaths' willingness to use physical violence to get what they want, whereas narcissists rarely commit crimes; the narcissists I've known personally are, in fact, averse to physical contact with others, though they will occasionally strike out in an impulse of rage. It has been found that court-ordered psychotherapy for psychopaths actually increases their recidivism rate; apparently treatment teaches psychopaths new ways to exploit other people. Bipolar illness also contains strong elements of grandiosity. See more on grandiosity and empathy and its lack below.]The disorder begins by early adulthood and is indicated by at least five of the following:

Translation: Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a pattern of self-centered or egotistical behavior that shows up in thinking and behavior in a lot of different situations and activities. People with NPD won't (or can't) change their behavior even when it causes problems at work or when other people complain about the way they act, or when their behavior causes a lot of emotional distress to others (or themselves? none of my narcissists ever admit to being distressed by their own behavior -- they always blame other people for any problems). This pattern of self-centered or egotistical behavior is not caused by current drug or alcohol use, head injury, acute psychotic episodes, or any other illness, but has been going on steadily at least since adolescence or early adulthood.
NPD interferes with people's functioning in their occupations and in their relationships:
Mild impairment when self-centered or egotistical behavior results in occasional minor problems, but the person is generally doing pretty well.
Moderate impairment when self-centered or egotistical behavior results in: (a) missing days from work, household duties, or school, (b) significant performance problems as a wage-earner, homemaker, or student, (c) frequently avoiding or alienating friends, (d) significant risk of harming self or others (frequent suicidal preoccupation; often neglecting family, or frequently abusing others or committing criminal acts).
Severe impairment when self-centered or egotistical behavior results in: (a) staying in bed all day, (b) totally alienating all friends and family, (c) severe risk of harming self or others (failing to maintain personal hygiene; persistent danger of suicide, abuse, or crime).

1. An exaggerated sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)

Translation: Grandiosity is the hallmark of narcissism. So what is grandiose?

The simplest everyday way that narcissists show their exaggerated sense of self-importance is by talking about family, work, life in general as if there is nobody else in the picture. Whatever they may be doing, in their own view, they are the star, and they give the impression that they are bearing heroic responsibility for their family or department or company, that they have to take care of everything because their spouses or co-workers are undependable, uncooperative, or otherwise unfit. They ignore or denigrate the abilities and contributions of others and complain that they receive no help at all; they may inspire your sympathy or admiration for their stoicism in the face of hardship or unstinting self-sacrifice for the good of (undeserving) others. But this everyday grandiosity is an aspect of narcissism that you may never catch on to unless you visit the narcissist's home or workplace and see for yourself that others are involved and are pulling their share of the load and, more often than not, are also pulling the narcissist's share as well. An example is the older woman who told me with a sigh that she knew she hadn't been a perfect mother but she just never had any help at all -- and she said this despite knowing that I knew that she had worn out and discarded two devoted husbands and had lived in her parents' pocket (and pocketbook) as long as they lived, quickly blowing her substantial inheritance on flaky business schemes. Another example is claiming unusual benefits or spectacular results from ordinary effort and investment, giving the impression that somehow the narcissist's time and money are worth more than other people's. [Here is an article about recognizing and coping with narcissism in the workplace; it is rather heavy on management jargon and psychobabble, but worth reading. "The Impact of Narcissism on Leadership and Sustainability" by Bruce Gregory, Ph.D. "When the narcissistic defense is operating in an interpersonal or group setting, the grandiose part does not show its face in public. In public it presents a front of patience, congeniality, and confident reasonableness."]

In popular usage, the terms narcissism, narcissist, and narcissistic denote absurd vanity and are applied to people whose ambitions and aspirations are much grander than their evident talents. Sometimes these terms are applied to people who are simply full of themselves -- even when their real achievements are spectacular. Outstanding performers are not always modest, but they aren't grandiose if their self-assessments are realistic; e.g., Muhammad Ali, then Cassius Clay, was notorious for boasting "I am the greatest!" and also pointing out that he was the prettiest, but he was the greatest and the prettiest for a number of years, so his self-assessments weren't grandiose. Some narcissists are flamboyantly boastful and self-aggrandizing, but many are inconspicuous in public, saving their conceit and autocratic opinions for their nearest and dearest. Common conspicuous grandiose behaviors include expecting special treatment or admiration on the basis of claiming (a) to know important, powerful or famous people or (b) to be extraordinarily intelligent or talented. As a real-life example, I used to have a neighbor who told his wife that he was the youngest person since Sir Isaac Newton to take a doctorate at Oxford. The neighbor gave no evidence of a world-class education, so I looked up Newton and found out that Newton had completed his baccalaureate at the age of twenty-two (like most people) and spent his entire academic career at Cambridge. The grandiose claims of narcissists are superficially plausible fabrications, readily punctured by a little critical consideration. The test is performance: do they deliver the goods? (There's also the special situation of a genius who's also strongly narcissistic, as perhaps Frank Lloyd Wright. Just remind yourself that the odds are that you'll meet at least 1000 narcissists for every genius you come across.) [More on grandiosity.]

2. Preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love

Translation: Narcissists cultivate solipsistic or "autistic" fantasies, which is to say that they live in their own little worlds (and react with affront when reality dares to intrude).

3. Believes he is "special" and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)

Translation: Narcissists think that everyone who is not special and superior is worthless. By definition, normal, ordinary, and average aren't special and superior, and so, to narcissists, they are worthless.

4. Requires excessive admiration

Translation: Excessive in two ways: they want praise, compliments, deference, and expressions of envy all the time, and they want to be told that everything they do is better than what others can do. Sincerity is not an issue here; all that matter are frequency and volume.

5. Has a sense of entitlement

Translation: They expect automatic compliance with their wishes or especially favorable treatment, such as thinking that they should always be able to go first and that other people should stop whatever they're doing to do what the narcissists want, and may react with hurt or rage when these expectations are frustrated.

6. Selfishly takes advantage of others to achieve his own ends

Translation: Narcissists use other people to get what they want without caring about the cost to the other people.

7. Lacks empathy

Translation: They are unwilling to recognize or sympathize with other people's feelings and needs. They "tune out" when other people want to talk about their own problems.
In clinical terms, empathy is the ability to recognize and interpret other people's emotions. Lack of empathy may take two different directions: (a) accurate interpretation of others' emotions with no concern for others' distress, which is characteristic of psychopaths; and (b) the inability to recognize and accurately interpret other people's emotions, which is the NPD style. This second form of defective empathy may (rarely) go so far as alexithymia, or no words for emotions, and is found with psychosomatic illnesses, i.e., medical conditions in which emotion is experienced somatically rather than psychically. People with personality disorders don't have the normal body-ego identification and regard their bodies only instrumentally, i.e., as tools to use to get what they want, or, in bad states, as torture chambers that inflict on them meaningless suffering. Self-described narcissists who've written to me say that they are aware that their feelings are different from other people's, mostly that they feel less, both in strength and variety (and which the narcissists interpret as evidence of their own superiority); some narcissists report "numbness" and the inability to perceive meaning in other people's emotions.

8. Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him

Translation: No translation needed.

9. Shows arrogant, haughty, patronizing, or contemptuous behaviors or attitudes

Translation: They treat other people like dirt.

[Some descriptions and explanations on this page are based on material from What is a personality disorder? by Paul J. Hannig, Ph.D., The Online Journal of Psychiatry, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and (defunct) Internet Mental Health questionnaire for diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. For a firsthand account of what it's like to have NPD, see "Malignant Self-Love - Narcissism Re-visited" by Shmuel (Sam) Vaknin, Ph.D.]

[peggygee]

now THERE'S the textbook I've been waiting for!

PREACH ON, PEGGY!

That's cute.

It wouldn't be a Peggy post,
if it wasn't verbose.

[xfiver]

now THERE'S the textbook I've been waiting for!

PREACH ON, PEGGY!

That's cute.

It wouldn't be a Peggy post,
if it wasn't verbose.

TRUE:

121 results for: true

1-10 of 121 results Next »

View results from: Dictionary | Thesaurus | Encyclopedia | All Reference | the Web
Roget's New Millennium™ Thesaurus - Cite This Source
Main Entry: TRUE
Part of Speech: adjective 1
Definition: real
Synonyms: accurate, actual, appropriate, authentic, authoritative, bona fide, correct, dependable, direct, exact, factual, fitting, genuine, honest, indubitable, kosher, lawful, legal, legitimate, natural, normal, on target, perfect, precise, proper, pure, regular, right, rightful, sincere, straight, suant, sure-enough, trustworthy, truthful, typical, undeniable, undesigning, undoubted, unerring, unfaked, unfeigned, unquestionable, valid, veracious, veridical, veritable, very, wash
Antonyms: counterfeit, false, fraudulent
Source: Roget's New Millennium™ Thesaurus, First Edition (v 1.3.1)
Copyright © 2007 by Lexico Publishing Group, LLC. All rights reserved.
Roget's New Millennium™ Thesaurus - Cite This Source
Main Entry: TRUE
Part of Speech: adjective 2
Definition: loyal
Synonyms: allegiant, ardent, confirmed, conscientious, constant, creditable, dedicated, dependable, devoted, dutiful, estimable, faithful, fast, firm, high-principled, honest, honorable, just, liege, no lie, pure, reliable, resolute, right, right-minded, scrupulous, sincere, square, staunch, steadfast, steady, straight, strict, sure, true-blue, true-hearted, trustworthy, trusty, unaffected, undistorted, unfeigned, unswerving, up front, upright, veracious, veridical, whole-hearted, worthy
Antonyms: disloyal, faithless, untrustworthy
Source: Roget's New Millennium™ Thesaurus, First Edition (v 1.3.1)
Copyright © 2007 by Lexico Publishing Group, LLC. All rights reserved.
Roget's New Millennium™ Thesaurus - Cite This Source
Main Entry: TRUE
Part of Speech: adverb
Definition: accurately
Synonyms: correctly, honestly, on target, perfectly, precisely, properly, rightly, truthfully, unerringly, veritably
Antonyms: dishonestly, inaccurately, wrongly
Source: Roget's New Millennium™ Thesaurus, First Edition (v 1.3.1)
Copyright © 2007 by Lexico Publishing Group, LLC. All rights reserved.
Roget's New Millennium™ Thesaurus - Cite This Source
Main Entry: true bill
Part of Speech: noun
Definition: grand jury indictment
Synonyms: accusation, arraignment, bill of indictment, claim, impeachment, indictment, justifiable charge
Source: Roget's New Millennium™ Thesaurus, First Edition (v 1.3.1)
Copyright © 2007 by Lexico Publishing Group, LLC. All rights reserved.
Roget's New Millennium™ Thesaurus - Cite This Source
Main Entry: true-blue
Part of Speech: adjective
Definition: honest and faithful
Synonyms: faithful, in good faith, loyal, steadfast, tried and true, trusty
Source: Roget's New Millennium™ Thesaurus, First Edition (v 1.3.1)
Copyright © 2007 by Lexico Publishing Group, LLC. All rights reserved.
Roget's New Millennium™ Thesaurus - Cite This Source
Main Entry: aboveboard
Part of Speech: adjective
Definition: candidness
Synonyms: candid, forthright, frank, honest, open, overt, right on*, square, straight, straightforward, true, trustworthy, truthful, up front*, veracious
Antonyms: deceitful, devious, dishonest, evasive, lying, shady, sneaky, under the table, underhand
Source: Roget's New Millennium™ Thesaurus, First Edition (v 1.3.1)
Copyright © 2007 by Lexico Publishing Group, LLC. All rights reserved.
* = informal or slang
Roget's New Millennium™ Thesaurus - Cite This Source
Main Entry: accurate
Part of Speech: adjective 1
Definition: precise
Synonyms: authentic, careful, close, concrete, correct, defined, definite, deft, detailed, discriminating, discriminative, distinct, exact, explicit, factual, faithful, genuine, judicious, just, literal, matter-of-fact, methodical, meticulous, particular, proper, punctilious, punctual, regular, right, rigid, rigorous, scientific, scrupulous, severe, sharp, skillful, solid, specific, strict, systematic, true, unerring, unmistakable, veracious
Antonyms: careless, faulty, inaccurate, vague
Source: Roget's New Millennium™ Thesaurus, First Edition (v 1.3.1)
Copyright © 2007 by Lexico Publishing Group, LLC. All rights reserved.
Roget's New Millennium™ Thesaurus - Cite This Source
Main Entry: accurate
Part of Speech: adjective 2
Definition: correct
Synonyms: absolute, actual, authentic, authoritative, certain, conclusive, correct, definite, definitive, errorless, exact, factual, faultless, final, flawless, genuine, infallible, irrefutable, official, perfect, right, straight, strict, true, truthful, undeniable, undisputed, unimpeachable, unquestionable, unrefuted, valid, veracious
Antonyms: doubtful, erroneous, false, flawed, imperfect, inaccurate, incorrect, misleading, mistaken, questionable, wrong
Source: Roget's New Millennium™ Thesaurus, First Edition (v 1.3.1)
Copyright © 2007 by Lexico Publishing Group, LLC. All rights reserved.
Roget's New Millennium™ Thesaurus - Cite This Source
Main Entry: actual
Part of Speech: adjective 1
Definition: real
Synonyms: absolute, authentic, categorical, certain, concrete, confirmed, definite, existing, factual, genuine, hard, honest injun*, indisputable, indubitable, kosher*, physical, positive, realistic, substantial, substantive, sure enough*, tangible, true, truthful, undeniable, unquestionable, verified
Antonyms: counterfeit, false, fictitious, imaginary, nonexistent, pretended, unreal
Source: Roget's New Millennium™ Thesaurus, First Edition (v 1.3.1)
Copyright © 2007 by Lexico Publishing Group, LLC. All rights reserved.
* = informal or slang
Roget's New Millennium™ Thesaurus - Cite This Source
Main Entry: apostolic faith
Part of Speech: noun
Definition: apostolic practice
Synonyms: old-time religion, primitive faith, the faith, true faith
Source: Roget's New Millennium™ Thesaurus, First Edition (v 1.3.1)
Copyright © 2007 by Lexico Publishing Group, LLC. All rights reserved.

[peggygee]

now THERE'S the textbook I've been waiting for!

PREACH ON, PEGGY!

That's cute.

It wouldn't be a Peggy post,
if it wasn't verbose.

TRUE:

121 results for: true

1-10 of 121 results Next »

View results from: Dictionary | Thesaurus | Encyclopedia | All Reference | the Web
Roget's New Millennium™ Thesaurus - Cite This Source
Main Entry: TRUE
Part of Speech: adjective 1
Definition: real
Synonyms: accurate, actual, appropriate, authentic, authoritative, bona fide, correct, dependable, direct, exact, factual, fitting, genuine, honest, indubitable, kosher, lawful, legal, legitimate, natural, normal, on target, perfect, precise, proper, pure, regular, right, rightful, sincere, straight, suant, sure-enough, trustworthy, truthful, typical, undeniable, undesigning, undoubted, unerring, unfaked, unfeigned, ................

And all of that, has what to do with the smell of the vagina?

[xfiver]

And all of that, has what to do with the smell of the vagina?

precisely.

[peggygee]

The information I presented is germaine and relevant to the topic.

You on the other hand, have merely proven that you know how
to use the Google search function.

Next time, use it to refute my position.

Oh, and don't bring a knife to a gun fight.

You've been proven wrong, let it go and move on.

As you are aware, I don't engage in needless and
foolish games of flaming. If you are desirous of
doing that, please do so with your usual bunch of
flamers.

Thus, unless you have something substanative, or
meaningful to contribute, to the conversation,
our dialouge is terminated.