Bill Hicks- A rare comic genius

[LG]

Taking a cue from another thread, where guyone accused the late, great Bill Hicks of being an unfunny mediocrity, I would like to demonstrate Hick's genius using some quotable quips of his:


One of my big fears in life is that I'm gonna die, you know, and my parents are gonna come to clean out my apartment, find that porno wing I've been adding onto.

You know we armed Iraq. I wondered about that too, you know. During the Persian Gulf war, those intelligence reports would come out: "Iraq: incredible weapons – incredible weapons." "How do you know that?" "Uh, well … we looked at the receipts."

Fundamentalist Christianity. Fascinating. These people actually believe the world is 12 thousand years old. Swear to God! Based on what? I asked them. "Well, we looked at all the people in the Bible, and we added them up all the way back to Adam and Eve, their ages – 12 thousand years." Well, how fucking scientific! Okay. I didn't know that you'd gone to so much trouble there. That's good.
You believe the world's 12 thousand years old? "That's right." Okay, I got one word to ask you. A one word question. Ready? "Uh-uh." Dinosaurs.

You see, I think drugs have done some good things for us. I really do. And if you don't believe drugs have done good things for us, do me a favor. Go home tonight. Take all your albums, all your tapes and all your CDs and burn them. 'Cause you know what, the musicians that made all that great music that's enhanced your lives throughout the years … rrreal fucking high on drugs. The Beatles were so fucking high they let Ringo sing a few tunes.

You know, if you play New Kids on the Block albums backwards … they sound better. Gives them that edge they're missing, puts some fucking hair on their balls.

What do atheists scream when they cum?

I was over in Australia, and everyone's like: "Are you proud to be an American?" And I was like, "Um, I don't know, I didn't have a lot to do with it. You know, my parents fucked there, that's about all."

I used to drink, I did. I had to quit. Man, I was an embarrassing drunk. I'd get pulled over by the cops, I'd be so drunk I'd be out dancing in their lights thinking I'd made it to the next club.




source: Wikiquote/ Wkipedia

[guyone]

It wasn't an accusation but an opinion. I wasn't intending to bring this up before the HUAC.

He was a card carrying bolshevik though.

[LG]

guyone said:

It wasn't an accusation but an opinion. I wasn't intending to bring this up before the HUAC.

Good thing the HUAC is long gone: I'd bet you'd want to bring most of us before the HUAC if it still existed.

guyone also said:

He was a card carrying bolshevik though.

According to Princeton's Wordnet:

Bolshevik
Noun
* S: (n) Bolshevik, Bolshevist (a Russian member of the left-wing majority group that followed Lenin and eventually became the Russian communist party)
* S: (n) Bolshevik, Marxist, red, bolshie, bolshy (emotionally charged terms used to refer to extreme radicals or revolutionaries)

Seeing as Hicks obviously doesn't fall under the first definition, I am assuming that you are using "emotionally charged terms" to describe him as a revolutionary. So, what's wrong with that? Under that definition, most of America's founding fathers would be the same, as would great men like Ghandi, Mandela and Steve Biko.

Stop bandying about meaningless terms, guyone. Calling people names only makes the name-caller look silly.

[guyone]

What are you talking about? George Washington was long dead before Lenin was born. Ghandi, Mandela, Biko weren't sponsored by the Soviets. The American Democratic parties principles though, were founded on the same principles of the Soviet Bolsheviks.

...and name calling? How about the lefties?? They refer to anyone who doesn't agree with them by some customized epithet.

[e.g.]ChefMike always calls me gumpone...*snif*, *snif* that really, really hurts my feelings...*snif*, *snif*

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Who cares what I think of that communist Bill Hicks anyway?

[LG]

Who cares what I think of that communist Bill Hicks anyway?

Good point. Nobody, probably.

Just joking. You were asking for it.

[chefmike]

Bill Hicks is in a class with comedy legends like Lenny Bruce and Richard Pryor. He was, and will always be, among the best of the best.

[chefmike]

...and name calling? How about the lefties?? They refer to anyone who doesn't agree with them by some customized epithet.

[e.g.]ChefMike always calls me gumpone...*snif*, *snif* that really, really hurts my feelings...*snif*, *snif*

Not always, pilgrim. Only when I feel that it is absolutely necessary. It's called tough love, and it's for your own good. And let me assure you, it hurts me more than it hurts you when your behavior on this board forces me to do such things...now quit your sniffling and slouching and sit up straight, lad!

[guyone]

Ya see! He called me gumpone again.

[chefmike]

I called you gomerone...reading is fundamental, gooberone. Now go sit in the corner and put that dunce cap back on.