How many guys here are 'out'?

[RangeHova]

I would say not to even worry about what anyone else thinks and just live life as it comes. Personally, I have had some serious relationships with some t-girls but still never did the whole 'take her home to mom' think just because it really was no reason to. I don't do that w/ most of the genetic women that I have dated.

Sometimes it is better if your family isn't in your relationship anyway. That can be a problem all the way around.

Just take steps. Find that Miss Right (be it a TS or GG) don't let the plumbing (dick vs pussy) be your guide. A relationship can't be based on that. But find that right woman and if she is a TS take the time to know her one on one. If the love is strong enough the rest will fall in place.

Some family members will get it some won't, the same with friends. In the long run it won;t really matter all that much.

But w/o the girl, why even go out of your way to confess your attraction to folks who have nothing to do with it? What difference does it make if you casually date a TS girl? What difference does it make that who or what you are attracted to really?

Worry about that when the time comes that it matters, when you have meet someone that you have strong feelings for. Until then leave it be.

[Ecstatic]

Then again if I marry a genetic girl, I have to make sure she understands me first. I don't want to spend my married life hiding my passion and secretly looking at newspapers and websites to find working girls- that wouldn't be good for either of us.
How many of us are there, though? Has anyone made a guesstimate (eg. such and such % of all men)?

You got that right, LG. That's the wonderful relationship that I have with my wife: she's quite comfortable with my "hobby" as some call it, and she knew I was bi from vitually day one (well, it might've been day nine--can't remember all that well from 30 years ago). I was actually in the only gay relationship I've ever had, but I wasn't in love with the guy, just very good friends with benefits, as the kids today put it. She swept me away from him, but she had no problem with it. So yes, if you're married I think you need to be open and mutually supportive with your spouse; hiding is not the way to go. (Not that I tell my wife all--I probably tell her more than she actually wants to hear, as it is--but keeping "it" secret would hurt the relationship.)

As for your question, I don't know...I think a helluva lot more men are fascinated than would ever admit it, even to themselves. Just look at the popularity of TS porn (yes, a fraction of the whole scene, but judging from the number of movies and websites out there and the TS sections on Eros, the TS scene is perhaps the biggest of the "fetish" scenes). Or the popularity of Maury Povich's TS segments. Or how so many tv shows have worked TS characters into the shows (Ally McBeal, Nip/Tuck, CSI--granted, usually as a novelty and for shock value, but it's there). But as to how many guys are active in the scene, seeing girls (whether as occasional clients or in real relationships)...that's an interesting question. How many of the members of this site are merely voyeurs (never actually seeing a girl for real--not that there's anything wrong with that) and how many are active?

But w/o the girl, why even go out of your way to confess your attraction to folks who have nothing to do with it? What difference does it make if you casually date a TS girl? What difference does it make that who or what you are attracted to really?

Heard. If I went about telling people I ocassionally pay for sex with ts escorts, I think the ts part of the equation would pale beside the other factors: paying for it (prostitution) and extramarital sex (cheating on my wife). But I don't consider prostitution a crime if both parties are willing and not coerced, and it's not cheating on my wife as she's totally on board with it, but why try to explain that to others? It's not their biz. OK, so the homophobic factor (for those for whom that's an issue) would also lurk, but why bring any of that up? If I were in a relationship with a TS and not married, yes, I would not hide it. But I still wouldn't go about telling people--why would it be their business? If it came up, I would tell them, but just as I don't go around telling people my wife's Jewish, why would I just blurt out that she's transgendered? But that's all hypothetical anyway; as you say, w/o the girl why come out with the big confession?

[thehumanbehan]

Thanks for your responses guys. Very helpfull and interesting.
LG, I've asked the same questions myself. I'm 25 and my TS girlfriend is 26 and I definitely want children in the future. At first it seems a major drawback in commiting to a long term realtionship with a TS but if you think about it there are still lots of ways for you to father children. You can adopt or even use your or your partners sperm to impregnate an egg.
I also echo your sentiments about the alternative of marrying a G girl only for the TS flame inside you to carry on burning.

[Caleigh]

maybe since i'm TS and not an admirer it's not my place to post in this thread, but since at the same time the issue of being
"out" is very relevant to me maybe i should, so i will.

Posted: Thu Dec 30, 2004 10:43 pm Post subject:
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i never told anyone, but it was discovered by my fiance when she found my stash of porn. she split right after that. i figure one bad experiance is enough and will continue to hide it.
_________________
DJBJ_2_2_69

i had a very similar experience in my life, my partner (gg) found me dressed in some of her clothes and she was totally freaked. we were together for a few years after but she said "i don't care what you do but i don't want to see it or know anything about it" that put sort of a pall on the rest of our time together.

when we did break up (amicably) i took that opportunity to be out. from then on as soon as i felt like a relationship was getting at all serious i would tell the person that i was TG and that i was heading towards transition in the future. this meant at least that anyone i was with was not being decieved in any way and those that stayed with me couldn't say that i had sprung anything on them, they knew what they were getting into.

DJ, you might want to take the same opportunity

blessings to all and a happy new year

[LAtoNY]

Are you guys NUTTTTTSSSS?

[LAtoNY]

Are you guys NUTTTTTSSSS?

[djbj_2_2_69]

thanks for the advise Caleigh. i think that's a very good idea. but i think im too much of a puss to actually come forward with it. i've decided to put off seroius relationships for a little while so i suppose i have time to make up my mind.

[Reddman]

TTT

[blckhaze]

my girl knows. she wasnt completely happy, but she understood. not ready to tell anyone else

[Baron Of Hell]

I don't really think one should hide that they like twomen, but don't think one needs to announce the fact to the world either. I'm big ass nerd that still buys comics but I'm not going go up to everyone I know and announce I read comics and I'm proud of it. That won't stop me from breaking out the latest issue of Walking Dead or Invincible during lunch or on the bus.

life is to short to worry about what other people think about things that have nothing to do with them.