Do I have to "walk a mile?"

[yodajazz]

Aragon, I agree with your sentiments. In my philosophy, I like to emphasize what people have in common. We have all felt every emotion, fear, joy, love, shame, you name. While I might not be able to feel exactly what you feel, I can understand the feeling, because I have had it at sometime in my life. If I listen to you, then I could have some understanding of what you’re going through, and not be so judgmental. Arianna is right in that there are some self righteous people who think they should tell another person how to live without listening to who they are. Each story has a unique aspect to it.

The issue I am seeing is the opposite of empathy. That is, people saying that no one can understand them, and then use it as an excuse to do all sorts of negative things. We all do it to some extent, but I have found that people can justify any behavior, by claiming that.

[peggygee]

Empathy as defined by Webster, can be a good thing;

http://webster.com/dictionary/empathy

1b. the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive
to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and
experience of another of either the past or present without
having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated
in an objectively explicit manner; also : the capacity for this

However the closely related feelings of pity and sympathy, can be
problematic;

1 a : sympathetic sorrow for one suffering, distressed, or unhappy
capacity to feel pity

In discussing the two, oftentimes transwomen want others to
have empathy for their plight, to understand who they are, how
they came to be where they are in life.

That can be a good thing.

The problem arises when transwomen want sympathy and to be
pitied for their circumstance in life. What may occur here is that
the transwoman will adopt a 'victim mentality'.

They feel that all of their misfortunes have been caused by others,
and that they have no control over their lives. In effect their power
and control over their destinies has been relinquished.

And that's a bad thing.

[yodajazz]

The phrase mostly gets directed at the men who want to be know-it-alls, and can't accept that they aren't. Especially the ones who act like little junior Hugh Heffners, and get so opinionated but have nothing to show for it. And all the cliche insults are usually not far behind, just in case their fragile male ego somehow gets hurt. They say stuff such as we're "crazy from the hormones", we "deserve what we get", we're "incapable of having real relationships", or even those who stoop to referring to us with male pronouns or worse, etc.

This thread actually was started on my reflections after reading:
COULD YOU HANDLE A REAL RELATIONSHIP WITH A TS???????
http://www.hungangels.com/board/view...859&highlight=
This and several other posts had alot of what I underlined from your reply, what shocked me was it was also back and forth between the ladies in some of them too. Everyone on one thread, and I wish I could find that one, ended with "walk a mile" phrases.

It just amazed me how many people say you don't understand me and then make no effort to explain who they are and how they got there. As another thread near the top right now points out, the ladies here don't want "sissy" men, so do you honestly want someone who will put your shoes on is part of the point. I just keep reading so much cynicism and conclusion, and then read "walk a mile."

Unfortunately, I have read alot of stuff that is as you put it "so opinionated but have nothing to show for it. And all the cliche insults are usually not far behind" from both the men and women here, that it saddens me to think the rare LTR stories told here will remain just that, rare.

I believe that the human race need a lot more empathy. That would solve many of the world's problems, such as the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.

That being said, even empathy has it limits, however. This was demonstrated to me clearly by a HA thread, around last August. Yasmin Lee wrote, lamenting about her lack of a love relationship. I and others tried to console her. But Megabody basically called her out, saying she was full of shit for posting cock pictures, advertising her porn career, but wanting an exclusive intimate relationship. They ended up communicating privately while us, empathetic people were virtually ignored.

It wasn't that I wanted a relationship with Yasmin, either. My point is that people don't always give empathy the respect it deserves. But in reality it is one aspect of self-love. In Yasmin's case she needed a slap of reality of a different kind.

[Ecstatic]

An important, and oft overlooked, distinction, Peggy. Fortunately, the transwomen that I know personally take the first route, not the latter, and do not see themselves as victims.