Rough times....

[ohioboy]

...so all bullshit aside, these are tough times. Why I put it here, I don't know, I guess here, I feel nobody will judge me, but then again, you are judged everyday by everybody.
My mom is sick....I don't know what will come of it. She had breast cancer pretty bad. Stage four. I'd like to think that she will live another ten to twenty years, but who knows...nobody knows. I feel alone right now, drowning my sorrows in alchohol and weed...I don;t know. I know people have been in much worse situations than mine, but to me, this is a crossroads in my life. I don't know what to say...sometimes I feel like im already dead, like im not really LIVING my life, like a programmed robot...I dont know if anyone can relate.....but, like I said, rough times. Thank you to anyone who took the time to read this.

[wombat33]

...so all bullshit aside, these are tough times. Why I put it here, I don't know, I guess here, I feel nobody will judge me, but then again, you are judged everyday by everybody.
My mom is sick....I don't know what will come of it. She had breast cancer pretty bad. Stage four. I'd like to think that she will live another ten to twenty years, but who knows...nobody knows. I feel alone right now, drowning my sorrows in alchohol and weed...I don;t know. I know people have been in much worse situations than mine, but to me, this is a crossroads in my life. I don't know what to say...sometimes I feel like im already dead, like im not really LIVING my life, like a programmed robot...I dont know if anyone can relate.....but, like I said, rough times. Thank you to anyone who took the time to read this.

Hey Ohio,

I am sory to hear that. I lost my mom to a different kind of cancer many years ago. I know how tough cancer is on everyone. But I urge you to be positive, pray hard, and have faith. I will say prayers for your mom and you also. I really hope you can find a way tp put the alcohol and weed aside. It will not help anything.

Instead of doing destructive things, find something positive to do. Go volunteer to help some one. Take an elderly person shopping. Walk a dog for some one who needs help. Things like that.

I really hope you can get out of the funk and that all goes as well as possible for your mom. Be tough and be good to yourself.

[ohioboy]

Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I agree with you.

...so all bullshit aside, these are tough times. Why I put it here, I don't know, I guess here, I feel nobody will judge me, but then again, you are judged everyday by everybody.
My mom is sick....I don't know what will come of it. She had breast cancer pretty bad. Stage four. I'd like to think that she will live another ten to twenty years, but who knows...nobody knows. I feel alone right now, drowning my sorrows in alchohol and weed...I don;t know. I know people have been in much worse situations than mine, but to me, this is a crossroads in my life. I don't know what to say...sometimes I feel like im already dead, like im not really LIVING my life, like a programmed robot...I dont know if anyone can relate.....but, like I said, rough times. Thank you to anyone who took the time to read this.

You need to be there for your mom and your family. I know that for me, when things go wrong, I can be comforted by comforting others.

What you've described with regard to "I feel like I'm already dead" sounds like depression, clinical depression at that. I'd see a psychiatrist and get some anti-depressants and some therapy. Maybe take some time off from work. I'm not saying that to be a jerk, either. Having come out of a situation, similar to your own, 3 years ago, I have been there. At times it can feel like "I don't care if the world ended now, what's the point?"

But life is a beautiful thing. Your mother gave you birth because of that.

[muhmuh]

the only tip i have is dont repress it and dont try to flee it all that will do is sap all your energy

[Kramer]

Go to church and pray for God to help to cope with whatever happens. Its very helpful.

[yodajazz]

Times are tough but you are tougher, as they say. It may not be easy but try not to think about you may lose. Instead think about the great gift you were given, a loving mother who gave you the gift of life. I worked for a while with families where the children were neglected and abused by their parents. Some of those kids dream of how life would be if they had what you already have been given. If you worry about losing her, then that means that she gave you something of value. But the thing is, that those things that she gave can never be taken away, as long as you are in your right mind. She gave the world you, as a lesson in love. So I reccomend as a previous poster did, you do something positive for someone. Give some of the love you have been given to someone or, something and that will make your mother feel better than any medicine.

By the way, spend some time with her, and make sure you listen to what she has to say. I still remember vividly some of my mother's final talks, and it has been 28 years!

[JANIRA]

OHIO BOY, LEMME START BY SAYING ITS SO IRONIC THAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH THIS, BECOUSE IM GOING THROUGH A SITUATION VERY CLOSE TO WHAT YOU ARE EXPIERANCING." MY DAD IS IN THE HOSPITAL HE HAD CANCER AND WAS TREATED AND IT GOT ALOT BETTER AND THERE WASENT NO TRACE OF IT, BUT { CANCER IS A VERY STRANGE ILLNESS THAT MAY OR MAY NOT RETURN} AND HE WAS FINE UNTILL HE WENT FOR CHECK UP, AND THEY FOUND A TUMOR. WELL TO TELL YOU IT HASENT BEEN A EASY WEEK FOR ME, OR MY FAMILY I KEPT THINKING THOUGHTS OF WHAT IF, WHAT IF WHAT IF????, AND I CAME TO THE REALIZTION THAT YOU HAVE TO MAKE YOUR PEACE NO MATTER WHAT EVEN IF THEY GET BETTER ,,GREAT! BUT YOU HAVE TO KNOW AND HAVE FAITH , AND HOPE FOR THE BEST. IN THE LONG RUN ITS HARD SEEING ANY ONE YOU LOVE ESPEACIALY A PARENT SICK, AND I HAVENT GONE TO SEE HIM IN THE HOSPITAL WHY? BECAUSE I JUST CANT HANDLE SEEING ANYONE IN THAT SITUATION, IT WILL REPLAY OVER AND OVER ,, BUT IM ALWAYS TALKING TO HIM, I WENT TO SEE OUT SIDE WHEN HE WAS HOME. SO MY ADVISE TO YOU IS BE STRONG HAVE FAITH , AND DONT LET WEED OR DRINKING BE OUTLET FOR YOUR GREIF ,I KNOW ITS EXTREMLY DIFFICULT, BUT IM SURE YOUR MOTHER WOULDNT WANT YOU TO CONTINUE DRINKING OR INTAKING DRUGS,, LET YOUR OUTLET BE FOCOUSING AND ENJOYING THE TIME SHES HERE EVEN IF ITS NOT SO PERFECT, SHE IS STILL HERE LOOK FORWARD TO THAT ! MUCH LUCK , AND BLESSINGS AND A SPEEDY HOPRFUL RECOVERY

[a994]

May the Lord heal, comfort, and strengthen both yourself and your mother, ohioboy.